The Cadbury Egg Conspiracy revealed

So my one Easter treat allowance was my favorite candy of all time: The Cadbury Cream Egg. It's like a gooey, sugary bomb in your mouth. For 150 calories -- albeit empty ones -- I had to go there before they're removed from shelves for a whole year.

However, eating it reminded me of how much the eggs have changed over the years. Cadbury Eggs were twice the size when I was a kid, and they used to be a challenge to eat. The white, creamy center used to be runny, so when you bit into it, the goo went down your chin the way the Easter Bunny and much more intelligent, customer-friendly candy-creators intended. Now that cheap, money-grubbing CEOs have clearly taken over the company, the eggs are miniscule, the center is more the texture of nougat, and while I still very much enjoy them, the experience pales in comparison to the old days.

An interesting side note: Cadbury's website used to deny such shrinkage claims until eggs from the old days were found and compared to the new size (including a public display from "The Office's" B.J. Novak). The company took its denial down, which, in response to comments about the shrinking size had said, "They haven't gotten smaller. You've grown up!" Whatevs, Cadbury. B.J. and I know our chocolate.