Sunday, March 20, 2011

Diet Depression has settled in, hard core

A candy binge in the middle of an inexorable plateau, and yet, I'm still surprised to see my weight hasn't budged.

Diet Depression has set in. Officially, I'm losing hope.

I looked around at many of the women in the gym today, fit, toned, sizes 2-6. These are the kind of women who don't just workout an hour in the mornings and call it good. They're active all day. They get home from the gym and walk their kids to school. They jog with the dog at lunch. They take a family walk after dinner. They clean up the house before bed. They run 5Ks on the weekend.

That's not me. My weekends are for hours upon hours of HGTV. Relaxation.

If this whole thing is about a "lifestyle change," then it has to be enjoyable. It has to be a change I want and can sustain. The above gym-lady scenario with all the walking and jogging and 5Ks? I don't want that. That's just not me.

I'm not going to do this, but do you see now, skinny people? All you born-thin girls who think, "I could never starve myself! Pizza and French fries are just too yummy! Lol. Smiley face. Giggle, giggle." For many women, like me, it seems like drastically cutting calories is the only way to lose weight. Even if it's not "sustainable," a girl starts to think, "Well, temporary results sound a lot better than no results at all."

Sustainable ... that word is just kicking my ass. At least I know I can sustain a plateau. Clearly, I am an expert at sustaining NOT losing weight.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. At this point, I would just love a day where I don't have to think about this at all.


  1. Hey Amanda, Hang in there. You are doing great. Look at all you have accomplished! While you have been losing weight and writing about it, I have been a spectator on the sidelines, merely witnessing your ahcievements and wishing I had your ambition, commitment and will power. And not losing a pound of my own. Guh! If you would love a day off, why not think about scheduling one for yourself? You've earned it. Plan one day, just a single day, where you can totally forget about calorie counting and exercise. In the scheme of things, surely one day won't do too much damage. Maybe when it's over, the impact won't be as bad as you feared. And you might just find yourself rejuvenated and ready to take on the weight loss world with new vigor. I am the last person who should be doling out fitness advice, so I'll understand completely if you ignore my suggestion. Either way, just know there is someone out here in cyber space cheering for you and believing in you. You have accomplished so much. Take time to congratulate yourself and be proud!!

  2. Nicest comment ever. Thank you, Terri.

    I am planning to schedule a day off. I'm not going to go crazy or anything. But maybe I'll go out for dinner and just not scrutinize what I'm ordering for once. Just for one night.

    Thank you SO MUCH for the support and for reading the blog. I really, really appreciate it.

    P.S. The scale budged today! One more pound lost. I'll take it at this point.