'Runway' finale: I guess I got what I wanted

In one of the most boring "Project Runway" finales in history, the best way for me to sum things up is to say, "I got what I wished for," and as we all know, that's not always a good thing.

I had been rooting for Anya from day one. Who wasn't? A gorgeous, exotic, sweet young woman with four years of sewing experience. You can't write a better underdog story. And yet, she kept performing better than some of these other designers who constantly knocked her about construction. I was so happy to see all season that the judges, for the most part, were more concerned about her incredible design skills than her ability to fully execute them with a needle and thread. As an aside, here, I find it very hard to believe that somebody like Michael Kors would sew ANYTHING these days. My bet is that designers have plenty of seamstresses to execute their ideas. So perhaps Anya isn't as much behind the curve as bitchy Josh would like to think.

Did I think Anya should have won, however? No. No, I did not. The collection was not her best work. Not one piece had construction work. It was the same note of flowy beach wear the whole way through. Beautiful stuff! Don't get me wrong. But not worthy of being crowned the champ.

I was actually pretty horrified when I saw how much the judges loved Josh's stuff. It scared me to death when he was left standing on the runway beside Anya, that there was a chance for him to take the win. Can you imagine? Josh being crowned the winner of "Project Runway"? It's enough to make a girl swear she'll never watch again ... although, I'm sure I've said that before.

Viktor, who I was sure was the clear front-runner, choked when it counted most. He had a lovely collection of print garments that were inventive and chic. And he had a cheap collection of black translucent hooker get-ups. Who needs to be a better editor now, Viktor?

All in all, I simply can't say there was anything very dazzling about the final runway show. Nobody wow'd me to any extent. But they strategically showed previews for the next season of "Runway," something they've never done before ... All-Stars, baby. How fun will it be to see all our old favorites and foes come back to dook it out yet again? Love it. I'm in.

America's sweetheart lets us all down on 'Runway'

Anya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're killing me!

How could she do so well all season only to choke when it matters most? I worried immediately when Tim Gunn made his house call to Trinidad during part one of the "Runway" season finale last night. All the other designers had about 10 pieces they had completed before he arrived. All Anya had was fabric. Just fabric. Not even a single sketch. What in the world was she doing for the few weeks between last week's episode and this finale?

When she got back to New York, Anya still wasn't ready. Her collection was completely uninspired. And I expected so much more. If she was able to create such inventive and beautiful shapes during two-day challenges, without much sewing experience, I could only imagine what she would come up with in her own time, at her own pace. I think America was sorely disappointed last night.

Viktor definitely fulfilled his prophecy as the clear front-runner. His clothes are always well made and innovative. I see him winning next week for sure. And I'm actually really bored with that thought. His work doesn't inspire me, doesn't fire me up.

I'll tell you whose work does fire me up, for all the wrong reasons: Josh. It pained my heart when the judges sent him through to Fashion Week FIRST. First. I agree that a couple of the pieces from the three-piece collection weren't horrible. But that "Olivia Newton John" unitard, as Michael put it, was absolutely hideous. The fabric choice was hideous. The peek-a-boo butt was hideous. And the plastic collar was hideous. My theory about how he made it this far is that he always performed one step better than the worst during each episode. He sucked, but just a little less than someone else during each challenge. In my mind, he's made it to the finale by default, alone.

I actually liked Kim's stuff. I was surprised the judges got on her case so much. I guess I was relieved, though, because between her and Anya, I think Anya deserved to go home Thursday night. So while the judges were cowardly in allowing all of them to go through, rather then sending home America's sweetheart like she probably deserved, I'm one viewer who's OK with that. I'm pulling for Anya to take these last couple of days before Mercedes Benz and do her usual last-minute miracle work.

The Project Runway finale has one too many designers

It's not that I wanted Laura to get through into the finale. That circle dress ... the one that looked like a craft project ... the one that puckered in the a** area ... the one the model couldn't walk in ... the one the judges seemed to APPRECIATE FOR ITS CONSTRUCTION AND INVENTION (???) ... I just loathed it. I loathed all three pieces in her mini-collection, inspired by Governor's Island (which was the challenge).

So, yes, go home, Laura. You're awful. What upsets me is that Heidi gave me hope. She said, and I quote, "One or more of you will be out." ONE OR MORE. That left room for them to decide it was high time Joshua packed up his 10 suitcases worth of attitude and headed back to whatever small-time Soho sewing club he came from. If I have to hear about his $100,000 worth of schooling that taught him the oh-so important mechanics of construction -- which apparently also taught him nothing about fashion-forward design -- I'm going to start muting the television whenever he's on. Plastic fabric, Josh? Really?

And yet, he goes through. He's in the finale. Why, oh why couldn't Kimberly have pulled out another miracle last night? She's got the talent. She just can't deal with deadline pressure. So it's so frustrating to watch her make mistakes, knowing that if she had the time, she could rethink and come up with something great. Isn't that how most of us do our best work? Trial and error until we come up with a surefire winner? I think that's how her mind works, and the two days for challenges just isn't enough time for her process. (Although, there was no saving those fabric choices: orange wool and silver plastic. Huh?)

Meanwhile, we have Josh, who when give more time to work, just keeps adding sh** to his clothes that make them worse than they were before.

Thank goodness they sent Kim through. I think, deep down, the judges know she'll turn in a great collection and that Josh, given months to work on a collection, will wheel out a rack of sad clown outfits. Maybe, if I'm very lucky, it'll be a Runway first, and Tim will see Josh's collection and say, "I'm really sorry, but we simply can't soil the name of 'Project Runway' during fashion week by letting you send this catastrophe down the Runway. Forget Heidi, I, personally, am auf-ing you." If only ...

But, I digress. Anya, once again, turned in the best collection last night. Chic and beautiful, fashion-forward, and she didn't even use prints this time, which is her old standby. Go Anya, go Anya, i's yo' birthday. ...sorry.

So, who will it come down to in the finale? Anya and Viktor, of course. Kim will come in third. Joshua will be humiliated. And all will be right in the world.

Project Runway is for the birds

At first sight of those birds, I was like, "Have you run out of ideas, 'Project Runway,' or are you just egregiously lazy." But as the challenge unfolded -- pitting two designers against each other, piling on a second look and then GASP! taking a second look out of the equation after all that work has been put in! -- I was on board. Totally on board.

It was an edge-of-your-seat evening for "Runway." The Kimberly drama was pretty intense. She's so talented, but she always gets caught up in thinking too much. One thing after another kept going wrong because her attitude and confidence were spiraling downward. And when that glue gun made a whole in that dress she'd been laboring over for hours? I gasped out loud. Clasped my hand over my mouth.

Yet, I kept thinking to myself, the designer who wins and the one who goes home always play a larger role in that respective episode. So all of the attention they were placing negatively on Kimberly, and I thought for sure she would actually be the winner. Somehow, she would pull it out.

Well, she didn't win. But that dress (white and silky, inspired by the cockatoo) that she delivered was TO DIE. Loved. If I didn't have mid-chub, I would LOVE to wear that dress. You pretty much have to be flat around the middle to rock a dress that bares skin down to the waistband. The white LEATHER waistband. Gorgeous.

My favorite dress of the night -- for once -- was the winner. Anya, my love. She pulled out another win on a $20,000 challenge. Inspired by the raven, the black structured dress was an innovative shape with super interesting details at the shoulder, waist and back "tail" area. I could not believe Joshua's attitude when he didn't win. He barely looked at Anya because her sewing skills aren't up to par. Well, dummy, it's a design competition, not "Project Seamstress." And hello? He put an orange bird corsage on the sleeve of his dress. Who would reward that with 20 grand? And I quote: "Then she had to get I-was-drunk-in-the-Caribbean corsage on her shoulder." -Michael Kors.

I have left the best news of Thursday night for last. Many of you have waited a long time with me for this, so let us savor these words together: Bert "the codger" Keeter has left the building. About ... damn ... time. His inspiration is a green parrot, and his princess dress from the 1980s is GRAY. The bodice is snake-skin silver, and the top layer of that flowy, ankle-length monstrosity is the same shade of metallic boredom. There was a pop of green underneath, which Heidi was like, "I get what he was trying to do." Good god, Heidi. How about YOU wear Bert's outdated rags and leave the rest of us out of it.

Anyway, he's gone. We can all breath a sigh of relief.
And if you're wondering who won over who in the bird-challenge smackdown, here goes:

Bert vs. Josh, team parrot -- Josh takes it.

Viktor vs. Kimberly, team cockatoo -- Kim pulls out the steal in the last three hours.

Anya vs. Laura -- Anya wins by a landslide, with Laura turning in her usual literal mess, only this time in pants.

One of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time - Heidi

At a certain point during the "Project Runway" season, front-runners appear. But I don't remember it ever being as obvious and exclusive as this year. If it wasn't so much fun to continuously watch the bad ones fail, there really wouldn't be a point to watch the weekly episodes until the finale. I mean, seriously.

Top Three: Viktor, Kimberly, Anya.

This fact was abundantly clear Thursday night as well. With the exception of Laura's second look, none of the other designers (those not listed above) made looks that were at all tasteful or wearable. The challenge was to make two 1970s looks that are also modern. So not literal is what they were looking for.

I was stunned Joshua didn't go home -- considering Heidi called one of his pieces "one of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time -- although the decision wreaked of a purposeful shock move, since Anthony Ryan has actually performed well in the past. Not Thursday, though, and he was booted for some fugly clothes.

Anya was the winner of the challenge. She had lost her money at Mood, and she created an outfit better than the majority with $11.50 donated to her by other designers. Her second look was cute, too. But I saw Kimberly as the clear winner with her pencil skirt and crop top.

And still, we can't seem to get rid of Bert. I thought for sure his Barbie-esque fabric selection and booty shorts would result in some Bert-bashing by the judges. But once again, they continue to kiss his old butt.

He'll get his soon enough. It's only a matter of a few weeks before Viktor, Anya and Kimberly make it to the finals. Mark my words!

Olivier designs for a 'plus size' man ...haha

I honestly think that the producers have sat around and thought, "How can we make this the funniest episode of 'Project Runway' that we've ever had?" And they're doing it! They're doing it!

Last week was awesome with the designing for straight guys' girlfriends. But designing for actual straight dudes? In a band, no less? Priceless.

They just floundered! It was as if none of them had ever seen a man before, and most of them actually are men, as you may recall. I was surprised that none of the male designers had ever made clothes for themselves before.

Once again, Olivier made a fool of me for having chosen him in the beginning as one of my favorites. He went home and for good reason. He kept calling the poor lead singer of the Sheepdogs "big." "He's just so much biggah than anyone I've eva seen in real life. He's just enormous." Well, something like that, anyway. He even referred to the poor man as "plus size." Isn't that a female clothing term? And isn't that also completely inaccurate? He was fairly average, if you ask me. ...Anyway, he chose yellow and blue fabric with swans on it for the shirt. Enough said. He was auf'd. Big time. Although if I'm being honest, I thought Kimblerly's orange bowling shirt was much worse.

The winner was Viktor. Hated the shirt, and really? A fringe jacket? But given the competition this week, it was the right decision.

Gay designers + straight men = Big laughs

Bahahhahahahahaaa!!!

The funniest series of moments in "Runway" history: Olivier, in a fake British accent, "Whaht iss double dee? What duss thaht mean?" (All serious to the camera) "I think the biggah boobs, they will be a prohblem for me."

Oh man ... a bunch of gay designers sitting around with heterosexual, boosie-loving men talking fashion ... now THAT'S good TV. Geriatric Bert standing by while some horned-up Italian motorboats his dress-making dummy? Come on! I'm dying over here ...

But let's get onto the business at hand. Bryce. He had such potential! He was one of my original choices, as you may recall. And if I had it my way, he would have skirted by last night with that pink mini and Anthony Ryan would have been sent packing for his 1987 V-neck monstrosity. (I was just having a conversation with a friend who was like, "Anthony Ryan's going all the way. He's got it." I'm like, "Got what? Crappy taste? Indeed, he does have it." Inyoface, anonymous friend.

As for who should have won but did not, Anya rocked it AGAIN last night. She was my No. 1 since day 1! Holla!!!! ...Oy, did I just say holla? I should be sent packing for that one.

Anyway, Viktor won. I don't object. It was a cute look. But it wasn't the best look of the night, not that the judges ever care about that.
ADDENDUM: I was wrong! Viktor did not win. I think I blocked out the fact that Joshua won, with his blah black cocktail dress. Why? I have no idea. I DO object!

Until next Runway ...

Heidi Klum and I are OVER

There are moments on "Project Runway" when I 100 percent cannot believe what I am hearing from the judges. Thursday night not only fit into that category, but I couldn't think of another night in all nine seasons when I've been more bewildered.

First, the challenge: The designers paired up with students from the Harlem art academy to create a painting together and then design an avant-garde garment inspired by the painting. I LOVED this challenge. Avant-garde challenges are always love it or leave it moments on the runway. There is usually no in between. Lots of drama.

I'm not going to rehash all of the outfits. Really, there are only two moments worth getting upset over.

No. 1 with a bullet: This is where Heidi Klum and I part ways FOREVER. I have tried to see her strange points of view in the past. But last night, when she was arguing for Bert's 1980s-pastel-clownpanted-tightankled-geometric-craft-project, I threw up my hands, quite literally, and said aloud in my empty living room, "I'm done! I'm (expletive) done. Heidi is an (expletive) idiot, and apparently blind," and just because she has decades of experience wearing high fashion does not mean she knows a darn thing about it. (And after a few seasons of watching "Project Runway," I guess that qualifies me as an expert ...)

There was a slight reprieve in that the other judges "didn't get" Bert's garment. But they were quite gentle in their criticism, and that is unacceptable. He should have been pushed into a corner and verbally socked in the stomach, repeatedly. We should have seen a Bert vs. judges smackdown, with him finally revealing his true colors as the workroom's biggest *itch. To say I was let down is the understatement of "Runway" history.

No. 2: There was only one moment on the runway that was breathtaking. The rest, quite frankly, were awful. (There are usually at least a couple to choose from. Not Thursday.) Kimberly! How was Kimberly not the winner of last night's challenge? Instead, she's in the middle of the pack. She doesn't event get feedback from the judges. The red feathers, the pleather, the asymmetric cut, the head piece ... somehow, she made all of those red-flag elements come together in complete and total cohesion. BEAUTIFUL.

I was telling my friend the other day that half the fun of "Runway" is getting pissed at the judges. I think I've changed my mind. It can't be healthy to be this angry over a TV show.

One designer managed the impossible ...

Late again, I know. Let's not dwell on it. : )

The challenge was OK on Thursday. I must admit, I get a bit of pleasure out of watching the designers' faces when they learn they will have to work in teams. (Bwahahahha) The big question: Who will get stuck with Bert, who is doing absolutely nothing for the AARP community, let me tell you. What a stodgy piece of work he is. I loved when he was looking directly at the four boxes on the counter filled with the designers' challenge clues, and poor Viktor is like, "They're right there! Can you bring me mine?" or something. And Bert's like, "What are you talking about? This counter is filled with stuff; I don't see any clues."

Anyway, back to the challenge. The designers worked in teams of three to make sportswear that would go well with a line of sneakers Heidi was involved with. ...Just as an aside, does anyone else raise an eyebrow when, so often, these judges are getting free work out of these designers? They're like, "Design us some stuff that we can sell and make a ton of money off of, and your reward will be that your name will be associated with my millions in profits, and we also will not humiliate you on the runway ... this week."

So who did we like? We'll get to that. There are more pressing matters at hand here. Because not another word can be written on this subject until we address the elephant in the room -- literally, the elephant -- which was the poor model that had to walk straight-faced down the runway wearing Anthony Ryan's camel-toe shorts. The short elicited the funniest and most accurate criticism of the night from Michael Kors: "You've managed to achieve the impossible. Those shorts are tight and baggy at the same time." I was rolling. The shiny shorts ballooned around the hips and were pulled tight just in the crotch. I was appalled. I was taken aback. And then I was just pissed that he wasn't the one who went home. Just look! Look, I say! How? How is that possible? NO part of this "garment" fits. Not one single part. WHY?

Now, I'm not saying I wanted to see yet another chiffon blouse from Danielle. I didn't. But I didn't throw up when her outfit came down the runway either. Still, she was the unlucky designer Thursday to be auf'd.

So back to who we did like. ... As much as I hate to admit it, I liked Bert's blue, Grecian top. That's all I'm going to say about it, because I think he's a pukey person, and I don't want to give him too many props. And plus, I think it was too fancy to go with sneakers, so there.

Bryce was my top pick of the evening. Super cool dress. Casual enough to go with sneakers, fashion forward with the snaps on the side, and could easily be dressed up with heals. Well done!

Viktor won the challenge, which is fine. His motorcycle jacket was really cool. I didn't care for the wrinkled gray dress underneath, but it wasn't awful, and it had a nice silhouette.

I must say, I hope the challenges get a little more interesting without being circus-like. The stilts? Worst in challenge history. The sportswear? Snooze. They need to start thinking about materials instead of gimmicks. The funnest challenges are the ones where they design beautiful clothes out of newspaper or produce. Creative, ultra challenging and the designers are never happy about it. How fun!

Ninazilla on the workroom rampage

OK! I'm all set for Thursday night -- all caught up on "Runway" -- and this time I will actually be home for the viewing.

Just wanted to update since I did finally see the last episode. First of all, Nina is so difficult! I knew she would be since she's kind of a jerky stickler as a judge. But talk about not giving any creative license to the DESIGNERS. Isn't it always her who says, "Listen to your client, but in the end, we want to see your vision. You are the designer; you make the choices." I guess only when the client isn't Nina herself, eh? Jeez!

Even though Becky didn't make it to the top, I stand by my original choice as her being the appropriate winner. I loved her dress. I was pleased with Kimberly's, too, though. It just seemed that Nina practically made that outfit for her. She was going to do a dress, and then Nina said she wanted pants. She was going to do a blue top until Nina said she didn't want the whole thing blue. So at least Becky arrived at her garment all on her own.

I also stand by Julie as the loser, which was actually what happened. The chick just ... doesn't ... get it. BAD.

I'll be back Friday this time, I promise!

"It looks like she's nursing triplets" - Michael

Ah! I'm a big sucker for these crazy types of challenges where the "Project Runway" contestants have to go into unusual stores and make dresses out of produce and such. Last night the designers went into a pet store and had to make garments out of leashes and hamster bedding and aquarium beads and wee-wee pads. Loved it! So fun.

But I must say, the judges had it all wrong ...

I'm usually not one to argue with my picks doing well. But Oliver did not deserve to win. First of all, the judges railed on several contestants for using "fabric-like" materials, including an umbrella and pee pads, in a challenge that called for more unusual, creative materials. Yet, Oliver constructed his entire top out of a dog bed -- HELLO, FABRIC! -- and he won? I don't get it. I also don't get how they didn't nail him for the fit of that dress. The bottom was made out of hamster bedding, which is cool, but the muslin underneath he constructed it out of ballooned out. It looked boxy.

I definitely thought Anthony Ryan's bird seed dress was the best. The sunflower-seed collar was to die. Loved, loved, loved.

Then, on the flip side, they had Fallene in the very bottom. She almost went home. And I LOVED her dress. They kept calling it Autumn-ish and pumpkin-like and boring. She used aquarium kelp, cut it all up and glued it to the skirt, which I thought was plenty inventive. And it looked so cute. Any girl would want to wear that dress. Totally flattering.

I definitely agreed with who they sent home. The headline comment about nursing triplets was about Joshua's garment. The top was oversized and matronly, and he made it out of an umbrella. So there wasn't anything special about it. Utterly forgettable.

In the battle of the wee-wee pads, I'd definitely say Viktor is the winner for best use of that material. His purple cocktail dress was AMAZING. He dyed and manipulated that "fabric" to the point that you couldn't tell what it was. My boy, Bryce, on the other hand bombed with his flouncy, blue princess two-piece. As Heidi said, and I would agree, "I want to pee all over those wee-wee pads."

'What grown-up wants to wear a bib?'

Lol! The judges' commentary are always my favorite part of "Project Runway," and as season 9 kicked off Thursday night, they did not disappoint! Heidi was responsible for the snarky remark in the headline, and I loved Michael Kors' follow-up: "She's wearing like a Flintstone disco pouch." Ha!!!

These comments were directed toward Rafael, who was sort of the first to be auf'd. (I'll get more to that later.) Honestly, it was a three-way tie for me as to who should pack up their tacky clothes and roll that suitcase right on out of Manhattan.

First, let's talk about the challenge. The 16 designers were woken out of a peaceful slumber and told to travel down to the studio in their pj's carrying their white bed sheets with them. They had to design a garment for a female with their pajama fabric and sheets, given closures (buttons and zippers, etc.) and dye to change the fabric color. I LOVED this challenge. So fun! But I was TOTALLY grossed out by some of the fabric being used. The old guy, Bert, literally took off his peach checkered boxes and incorporated it into a cocktail dress. Forgive me, but there are prime areas of that fabric I hope weren't touching that poor model in any way. HOLY UNSANITARY, BATMAN.

So, who sucked ...

Rafael, for SURE. I think it was Michael who said it looked like the model put on the grey, skin-tight pants and white blouse and then had too big of a meal, so she was popping out of the whole ensemble. Just the weirdest, most ill-fitting, crotch-hugging pants I've ever seen. And the bib they were referring to was a nasty, leopard print head scarf that he fashioned into a "necklace." It was a bib.

Despite the fact that the judges picked him to WIN the challenge, I hated Bert's cocktail dress. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't get over the underwear-hanging-off-this-poor-girl's-boob aspect. But I thought it looked all weird and twisty and amiss. Kind of just hung on her, all willy nilly. Honestly, when he was left on the stage to answer to the judges, I thought it would be bad news for Bert.

But Julie, who was in the bottom, presented the hottest mess of any garment in Runway history. Oh yeah, I went there. And I'm owning that statement! Oversized cargo pants that looked like they were inside out, with the droopiest butt and the saddest sickly grey color EVER. A hot pink cartoonish print on the tee, wrapped with a second bold, crazy color. How does sickly gray go with cartoon pink and yellow? Not only was it in poor taste, but it showed that she has no vision, poor construction abilities, and she works HORRIBLY under pressure. For me, it would have been Julie, and I would have gotten quite nasty about it as well.

Who's AWESOME ...

Ok, let's just pause for a moment and appreciate what Anya put forth last night. FREAKING AMAZEBALLS. This chick learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. The judges weren't even going to let her compete! Because they were afraid she couldn't handle all the sewing! Then, out of frickin' nowhere, she dyes fabric to a beautiful shade of grey and makes HER FIRST PAIR OF PANTS EVER from it. And they fit like every woman wishes her pants would fit. Did you see that tushy? WHAT TUSHY?! And she was able to make a beautiful, Asian inspired halter blouse out of silk. SILK! Who in the hell can sew silk? I'll tell you who: Anya, who just learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. And she's gorgeous, too. And she's cool. Why do the pretty ones have to have it all? ...

There were three surprises for me. ...

1. Cecelia did very well -- that was a surprise. There was a casting special that started the show where four designers were eliminated out of a batch of 20. (What a waste of time. I don't need to see who they DIDN'T WANT. Just get to the challenge already, am I right?) Cecelia was on the cusp of being auf'd. But she made it through, and her outfit was actually really cute. Tangerine skirt. Well-constructed, bodice-esque top. I liked it. Except for the slip up near the butt crevice. Didn't like that.

2. One of my favorites from casting videos on the website was Serena. I would have worn any of her clothes. Gorgeous! And she didn't make it through to the 16 final designers. Sad.

3. One of my top favorites, Olivier, didn't make it into the top. He was just in the middle. And I was surprised at the lackluster quality of his garment. It was a drab color. Neutral. Nothing special. A skirt and a top. But, I don't know, I'm sticking with him, I think. He's cute. Funny.

So here are my picks for people who will do quite well ...

Anya and Olivier. I have a good feeling. Oh, I also loved Bryce! Here was his outfit.
Now tell me who you liked!

Until next week ... Auf Wiedersehen!

Two major Katotainment announcements

I couldn't have timed this any better: As my public weight-loss battle comes to a close ... A NEW SEASON OF 'PROJECT RUNWAY' BEGINS!

I'm realizing a couple of things right now ... 1. I may just be the last person on Earth who gives a damn about "Project Runway." 2. My readership during my "Project Runway" blogging days was MUCH smaller than my readership of my public weight-loss battle.

However! ... of all the things I've written about, I still get people asking if I'll continue blogging about "Runway." The readership was smaller, but it was mighty. A small few, I'm proud to say, would log onto my blog the first thing on the morning following each episode to see if my thoughts corresponded with theirs. That's what blogging is all about!

Writing about my fight to be fit has been so fun and extremely cathartic. But it could only last so long. It could only be interesting to you for so long, as well. I think we've reached that point. I will, however, continue to check in from time to time with my progress. Maybe every month or so I'll update on how I'm doing. That keeps me accountable, and it will appease any lingering curiosity, hopefully. So it's a win-win!

In the meantime, though, the "Project Runway" blog will make its triumphant return!

So the two official announcements are thus:

1. The final regular "fight to be fit" blog post will take place Monday, Aug. 8, when I return from a week's vacation. My final (public) weight-loss total will be given. I'll lay out my plan for the future and perhaps set a final goal. And I'm sure I'll get all gushy and thank a million people for their support.

2. The "Project Runway" blogging, right here at Katotainment, kicks off July 29, the morning after the premiere of Season 9 of the show.

Be sure to check out this season's contestants and make your predictions before the premeire!

Latest jerk crowned in 'Runway' family

I was thinking back to previous seasons of "Project Runway." I remember being disappointed when Uli lost to Jeffrey Sebelia in season 3. Or in season 6, when the mean Irina won over the super nice Carol Hannah. In those cases, however, I didn't question the winner's talent. They might have been jerks (a friend pointed out that 5 out of the 7 winners in past seasons have been mean or snobby to other contestants), but they had talent to back it up.

Last night I was disappointed for two reasons: One, Gretchen is a jerk (making it 6 jerks out of 8 winning designers). And two, her clothes are awful. When I see her Native American-inspired fabrics and jewelry, I get a flash to the wallpaper in my living room when I was a kid. My mom went through a Native American phase, and all the fabrics, wall art and accessories reflected the theme.

Where's the taste level? Why would they have gone for the showman/woman in every other season -- forgoing wearability for art -- and suddenly switch to matronly clothes attractive to shoppers at the Dress Barn? Is it a retro thing? Is '70s bargain fashion making a comeback? Is this a new fad I don't know about? Commune Chic?

Mondo at least had the arty element. I can't picture anyone wearing that much print, at least not in southern Minnesota, but he put on a visually interesting show. It had a lot of drama, it was constructed well, and his patterns -- despite being quite loud -- worked well together. Of the three, he was the clear winner.

Andy was the throwaway. There's always one designer you know has no chance. That was Andy. Grey and green jumpers just kept bouncing down the runway. Ho-hum.

I am disappointed, but I was thinking that there wasn't a designer in the bunch I was really passionate about. Nobody stood out to me. So, I guess if they're going to pick Gretchen, this is a good season to do it in -- when there's no one else who's so very much better that it illicits complete outrage. I'm not outraged. I'm just grossed out by her icky clothes, and I'm hoping I don't start seeing brown Navajo-inspired blouses everywhere.

"Runway," I'm quite sad I waited 13 weeks for THIS. You stink.

Yay for Mondo the Brave

Let's just forget about the fashion for a moment. Thursday night's "Runway" was a good one simply for the "awwww" factor and the emotional kick to the gut.

I was so proud of Mondo for deciding, that after 10 years of secrecy, he wasn't going to hide who he was anymore and come out as HIV positive. In this day and age, "the cocktail" has resulted in many HIV positive people living long, healthy lives. HIV is no longer a death sentence as it once was thought of. Still, he comes from a conservative Catholic family and has a mother who told him to never tell anyone else that he's gay. When you feel you're an outcast in society, I can only imagine how much more important your family must become to you and how much more their acceptance becomes important. I completely understand why he felt he needed to keep the secret from them.

That's why I felt it was so brave and such a wonderful step forward for him to come out. Good for you, Mondo! And good for you, also, for winning your third challenge in a row. I'm not sure if it's a "Runway" first, but it was certainly well deserved.

Back to business: I'll make my summary quick today. Everyone except for Mondo sucked. I hated everyone's design Thursday night. I blame the mothers. The show was so sweet and invited everyone's mother (and Christopher's partner and Michael C.'s son) to come surprise them in the workroom. They got the rest of the first work day off to hang with their fams. I think they all got distracted by emotion to turn out good clothes. Everyone except for Mondo, whose outfit was pretty awesome.

Whaaaaaaaaat???!!!???

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????!!!!!!!!!!!

That pretty much sums up my thoughts on last night's "Runway." And that is because: Everybody in the top of Thursday night's judging, I would have put on the bottom. And a couple of people on the bottom? Yeah, I totally would have put them in the top.

What the hell?! I'm so sick of this year's judging. Drives me nuts.

So, the challenge was to design a couture garment using a style of fabric: metallic, velvet, etc. They're told they're given two days, so like idiots, a lot of them were lollygagging around the work room as if they'd never seen the show before. And then all of a sudden, Tim comes in on the second day and says "Designers, you have to design a second look," a ready to wear companion piece to the couture. OF COURSE THEY DO. THIS IS "PROJECT RUNWAY," DUMMIES. So they get all shocked and horrified and boo hoo and whatever. But they all manage to pull it off in time.

So, here's the break down. Gretchen, Andy and Mondo make it into the top. Michael C., Valerie and Ivy are on the bottom.

Where to begin ...

How about with Gretchen, who made a matronly, velvet dressing gown that would have been too dowdy for a lady 500 years ago (see photo). Her companion dress, aside from the slutty slits up the side, would sell well at the Dress Barn. And the judges just lapped it up like kittens. Loved it! Trust me, I was watching on High Def and got a good up-close look at every bead and feather, and I can honestly tell you, there was NOTHING couture about that monstrosity. My jaw dropped.

Mondo won. His was OK. His style always reminds me of traffic signs and police tape, though. Jarring, geometric, structured, off-putting.

And Andy ... All I can say is that his model looked like a Chinese dragon. That's as clear as I can make it.

Michael C., on the other hand, who everybody hates but who has never been in the bottom until last night, made GORGEOUS companion dresses out of bordeaux material that was to die for (see photo). His train on his couture was a little long and too structured, sure. But the bones of the dress were wonderful. A couple of minor alterations, and they would have been perfect.

I liked Valerie's white dress, too, which was her couture. Her black companion dress was totally last minute and not cute, but her white was striking. Hated it -- they just hated it. Uhh, whatever.

My only nice surprise of the evening was watching Ivy go home. She's so very mean, and last night, her couture dress was just a train wreck. Imagine an aqua mermaid got roughed up in a car accident and that's what her dress looked like (see photo). A raggedy mess of aqua and blue chiffon. Despite the fact that her companion dress was a cute little cocktail number, her meanness outweighs her slight bit of talent in my eyes. I would choose Valerie to stay over her a thousand times. Good riddance!

The judges better put their contacts in next week. Getting a little tired of having to come on here and school them. ; )

Do rich people have an entirely different wardrobe for vacations?

Notes from the "Runway" is back! ...
A pet-peeve to start ...
Michael Kors: Every designer, no matter who they are, he says, will make a resort collection. ... What? Did anyone else think to themselves when Heidi was issuing the challenge tonight "What the hell are resort clothes?" Maybe we're Minnesotan, Midwestern salt-of-the-Earth types who don't do resorts. But hey, I'm betting the majority of "Runway's" viewership doesn't hit the "resorts" on the weekends. Where are these places? Southern California? The Hamptons? And are there seriously specific kinds of clothes people wear to resorts? What makes them "resort clothes" instead of, say, Sunday afternoon garden party clothes, or, say, just plain vacation clothes? Weirdest challenge. Just weird.

One more pet-peeve: I'm tired of the finky finks this season. Gretchen and Ivy need to shut it. Even after poor Michael C. wins TWO challenges, they're sure they're right that he sucks and the judges are wrong. And the abuse continues tonight as Mondo, on the bottom this challenge, explains to the judges how proud he is to have had the opportunity to "guide" Michael C. through this challenge. Ummm, Michael C. was passed through to the next round, Mondo. You're the idiot standing on the runway next to your sailor-inspired adolescent bikini. Ivy committed a similar offense by blaming Christopher for her own shoddy and boring white pants and grey top. That's a design problem, not a construction problem.

I should back up. Thursday night's challenge was to partner up with another designer and have that designer execute your design. So, Ivy sketched an outfit, and Christopher cut and sewed it, for example. The idea is that most designers don't construct their own work in the real world. They outsource. I get that. But in the real world, I must point out, DESIGNERS GET TO PICK WHO THEY WANT TO TAILOR THEIR CLOTHES.

Anyway, my favorites tonight included April, who won the challenge (her first). She made a see-through babydoll dress that was black, with a solid black bra top and black boy shorts underneath. It was really cute and edgy at the same time.

I also liked Andy's, which was a silver and purple bathing suit with a flowy wrap over it. Although I thought it was crap that guest judge Kristen Bell liked how "versatile" the garment was because someone size "12 or 2" could wear it. Well, let's see, the bathing suit showed more skin than Playboy, so I don't know a size 12 who would go there, Kristen Bell, size pre-teen.

Who did we hate ... Ivy, for being rude and boring. Gretchen, because her garment was gold, purple and Old Lady. And Michael C., actually, because I almost saw boob under those thin halter straps.

I actually didn't hate Casanova's tonight, even though he went home. The top was interesting. I liked the belt. I get what they mean about it being old. It was. But it was sophisticated, which is more than I can say for some of those pieces.

Casanova's parents couldn't have picked a more inappropriate name

First of all, so sorry dear 'Runway' blog readers! Today was insane, so I didn't have time until now to write about last night's show, which, by the way, was the first challenge where I felt like, "OK, this is the 'Project Runway' I know and love.'"

I've always had a soft spot for the "weird store" challenge, when they've had to go into grocery stores and other unlikely retailers and put a dress together using cabbage and plastic cups and such. Last night, the crew headed into a party supply store. How fun! Think of all the wonderful things in those stores -- streamers and pinatas and inflatable palm trees, oh my!

I must say, the vast majority of the designers totally rose to the challenge. How awesome was Valerie's black and white napkin dress? That would have been a chic silhouette had she made it out of fabric, let alone paper napkins. I also loved Ivy's silver/gray dress. I think those were folded napkins, too. 600 of them!

For once, the person who should have won did. Andy's black and silver braded cocktail dress was so awesome. It really looked like leather!
And once again, for the third time in a row, Gretchen was in the top 2. I liked her outfit. But I liked others better. I also liked other personalities better. What kind of a know-it-all is she? She went around telling everybody what they were doing wrong, and then told A.J. he was only acting pissy to her because he was in the bottom. Noooo, he was pissy at her because she's straight-up annoying and overbaring.

Speaking of A.J., he's supposed to be the expert on working with found materials. But his ridiculous Debbie Gibson-esque party mess-dress was an explosion of suck. I couldn't look at it without squinting. And yet, they let him through to ruin another ensemble on another day.

I couldn't believe they picked Sarah to go home over A.J. or Casanova, who turned in another insane mess. His outfit, first of all, was made out of tablecloths, and they were all discouraged from using materials that could be seen as fabric-esque. And then he goes crazy with it! It was a disco, mermaid, 80s prom nightmare. (It's funny sometimes to think his name is Casanova. He's the least charming designer in the room!)
Sarah's dress, on the other hand, was just boring. And she at least knew it. Give her some credit for self-awareness, wouldya?

The person I thought should have gone home didn't even make it into the bottom three. He just got passed through without a critque to the next round. Michael's dress was like this upside-down blue plastic toulip skirt that didn't fit. And on the top was a cheap, silvery, plastic top that also didn't fit. The moment I saw it, I said, "He's going home tonight." And then I remembered ... oh yeah, a bunch of drama queens are running this show, so they'd never make a decision that made so much sense.

Until next week ...

(Pictured above is Andy's dress.)

A rotten Peach and some very shady business ...

SHADY! That was just plain shady business last night. Did I miss the part where they explained to the designers that on each episode there was a chance for more than one person to go home? Rude. Very rude. That cute little elf-looking guy... ummm ... still learning names ... Nicholas! There he had just watched Mr. Jason Bowler Hat get booted, and surely he thought that meant he was safe. And then Heidi unleashes her suppressed angry German roots: I said Auf Wiedersehen, damn it! ...OK, she said something to the effect of "I'm sorry, you are out, too." But still.

Jeez. I don't know. This season is just weird. Usually I see a designer or two with a really cool vision and style and I latch onto them. I don't see anyone, talent-wise or personality-wise, where I care what they're working on. Is this show over for me? I'm going to stick it out this season, but I tell you, I'm continuously disappointed by casting the past couple of seasons.

Anyhow, another big win last night for Gretchen. I liked it. It was a blue jumper, but I liked it. Still, I thought for sure Valerie's red sporty/sexy dress would take it.

As for the bad garments, there are many to choose from, but I'll just mention Jason's for sure. He got kicked off for good reason with this silver wrap dress held together by safety pins ... ON PURPOSE. Enough said, I think. Here's a little "behind the scenes" video to show you what I mean.



And then poor old lady Peach turned in a polka dotted tea party frock with a brown alien crawling down its back. I posted a picture so you can see what I'm talking about. I don't think Peach is long for the Runway.

That's all for now. Hopefully I'll be excited about something next week. Ho, hum.

The 'Runway' went nutty on us ...

I suppose, after so many seasons, "Project Runway" felt the need to get gimmicky with the first episode. Bizarre is really the only word that comes to mind.

This season, they've already beefed up the show to 90 minutes (and after last night, the extra 30 seemed like uneeded fat). Then to top it off, the 17 designers brought to New York (yes 17!) were told they weren't even on the show yet. One or more of them would not even make it as contestants. Instead, all 17 had to vie for their spot on the show by designing a garment using an item from another contestant's suitcase in ... wait for it ... 5 HOURS. Just 5 hours for a challenge!

Now, granted, the challenge was kind of interesting. We've seen the crazy garb that some of these designers wear each season, so who knows what the poor normal-dressers would have to deal with in terms of fabric to work with. Plus, the 5-hour part of the challenge was pretty interesting because I couldn't sketch a pretty dress in 5 hours, let alone construct one out of fabric and thread.

Still, the whol thing seemed a little forced for ratings. I don't like stunts for the sake of stunts. I like them when they allow us to see some kind of extra ability each designer might have. Make a dress out of newspaper, for example, shows the creativity and construction skills of the designers. Forcing them to throw something together in 5 hours doesn't bring the best out of anyone. But I digress.

My main problem with the season kick-off was the girl who got sent home. Now, there was a designer named Casanova (no joke) who sent a model down the runway in hooker clothing. She was so naked, I thought for sure she would come falling out of that scarf-dress from all sides. Yet he made it onto the show. There was also a designer whose name I don't recall (and the Project Runway website won't load because of so much traffic) who A) wore a bowler hat, B) sent a model down the runway in a backward coat that he stapled up the back, and C) still made it onto the show. I take offense to all three. And the main reason I do is because the adorable designer who did get kicked off the show, McKell -- the only designer to get kicked off the show -- had a BEAUTIFUL dress. It was constructed well on time. It was creative. It was pretty. And it was FAR from the worst dress to get sent down the Runway. Tim even said he really liked it in the workroom!

Gretchen was the designer who won with a pretty black dress. She cut it beautifully and incorporated the fabric, which was really hard to work with, in a beautiful way. She deserved to win.

To see photos of all of these garments and get to know the new designers, visit the PR Web site.