Heidi Klum and I are OVER

There are moments on "Project Runway" when I 100 percent cannot believe what I am hearing from the judges. Thursday night not only fit into that category, but I couldn't think of another night in all nine seasons when I've been more bewildered.

First, the challenge: The designers paired up with students from the Harlem art academy to create a painting together and then design an avant-garde garment inspired by the painting. I LOVED this challenge. Avant-garde challenges are always love it or leave it moments on the runway. There is usually no in between. Lots of drama.

I'm not going to rehash all of the outfits. Really, there are only two moments worth getting upset over.

No. 1 with a bullet: This is where Heidi Klum and I part ways FOREVER. I have tried to see her strange points of view in the past. But last night, when she was arguing for Bert's 1980s-pastel-clownpanted-tightankled-geometric-craft-project, I threw up my hands, quite literally, and said aloud in my empty living room, "I'm done! I'm (expletive) done. Heidi is an (expletive) idiot, and apparently blind," and just because she has decades of experience wearing high fashion does not mean she knows a darn thing about it. (And after a few seasons of watching "Project Runway," I guess that qualifies me as an expert ...)

There was a slight reprieve in that the other judges "didn't get" Bert's garment. But they were quite gentle in their criticism, and that is unacceptable. He should have been pushed into a corner and verbally socked in the stomach, repeatedly. We should have seen a Bert vs. judges smackdown, with him finally revealing his true colors as the workroom's biggest *itch. To say I was let down is the understatement of "Runway" history.

No. 2: There was only one moment on the runway that was breathtaking. The rest, quite frankly, were awful. (There are usually at least a couple to choose from. Not Thursday.) Kimberly! How was Kimberly not the winner of last night's challenge? Instead, she's in the middle of the pack. She doesn't event get feedback from the judges. The red feathers, the pleather, the asymmetric cut, the head piece ... somehow, she made all of those red-flag elements come together in complete and total cohesion. BEAUTIFUL.

I was telling my friend the other day that half the fun of "Runway" is getting pissed at the judges. I think I've changed my mind. It can't be healthy to be this angry over a TV show.