'Runway' finale: I guess I got what I wanted

In one of the most boring "Project Runway" finales in history, the best way for me to sum things up is to say, "I got what I wished for," and as we all know, that's not always a good thing.

I had been rooting for Anya from day one. Who wasn't? A gorgeous, exotic, sweet young woman with four years of sewing experience. You can't write a better underdog story. And yet, she kept performing better than some of these other designers who constantly knocked her about construction. I was so happy to see all season that the judges, for the most part, were more concerned about her incredible design skills than her ability to fully execute them with a needle and thread. As an aside, here, I find it very hard to believe that somebody like Michael Kors would sew ANYTHING these days. My bet is that designers have plenty of seamstresses to execute their ideas. So perhaps Anya isn't as much behind the curve as bitchy Josh would like to think.

Did I think Anya should have won, however? No. No, I did not. The collection was not her best work. Not one piece had construction work. It was the same note of flowy beach wear the whole way through. Beautiful stuff! Don't get me wrong. But not worthy of being crowned the champ.

I was actually pretty horrified when I saw how much the judges loved Josh's stuff. It scared me to death when he was left standing on the runway beside Anya, that there was a chance for him to take the win. Can you imagine? Josh being crowned the winner of "Project Runway"? It's enough to make a girl swear she'll never watch again ... although, I'm sure I've said that before.

Viktor, who I was sure was the clear front-runner, choked when it counted most. He had a lovely collection of print garments that were inventive and chic. And he had a cheap collection of black translucent hooker get-ups. Who needs to be a better editor now, Viktor?

All in all, I simply can't say there was anything very dazzling about the final runway show. Nobody wow'd me to any extent. But they strategically showed previews for the next season of "Runway," something they've never done before ... All-Stars, baby. How fun will it be to see all our old favorites and foes come back to dook it out yet again? Love it. I'm in.

America's sweetheart lets us all down on 'Runway'

Anya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're killing me!

How could she do so well all season only to choke when it matters most? I worried immediately when Tim Gunn made his house call to Trinidad during part one of the "Runway" season finale last night. All the other designers had about 10 pieces they had completed before he arrived. All Anya had was fabric. Just fabric. Not even a single sketch. What in the world was she doing for the few weeks between last week's episode and this finale?

When she got back to New York, Anya still wasn't ready. Her collection was completely uninspired. And I expected so much more. If she was able to create such inventive and beautiful shapes during two-day challenges, without much sewing experience, I could only imagine what she would come up with in her own time, at her own pace. I think America was sorely disappointed last night.

Viktor definitely fulfilled his prophecy as the clear front-runner. His clothes are always well made and innovative. I see him winning next week for sure. And I'm actually really bored with that thought. His work doesn't inspire me, doesn't fire me up.

I'll tell you whose work does fire me up, for all the wrong reasons: Josh. It pained my heart when the judges sent him through to Fashion Week FIRST. First. I agree that a couple of the pieces from the three-piece collection weren't horrible. But that "Olivia Newton John" unitard, as Michael put it, was absolutely hideous. The fabric choice was hideous. The peek-a-boo butt was hideous. And the plastic collar was hideous. My theory about how he made it this far is that he always performed one step better than the worst during each episode. He sucked, but just a little less than someone else during each challenge. In my mind, he's made it to the finale by default, alone.

I actually liked Kim's stuff. I was surprised the judges got on her case so much. I guess I was relieved, though, because between her and Anya, I think Anya deserved to go home Thursday night. So while the judges were cowardly in allowing all of them to go through, rather then sending home America's sweetheart like she probably deserved, I'm one viewer who's OK with that. I'm pulling for Anya to take these last couple of days before Mercedes Benz and do her usual last-minute miracle work.

The Project Runway finale has one too many designers

It's not that I wanted Laura to get through into the finale. That circle dress ... the one that looked like a craft project ... the one that puckered in the a** area ... the one the model couldn't walk in ... the one the judges seemed to APPRECIATE FOR ITS CONSTRUCTION AND INVENTION (???) ... I just loathed it. I loathed all three pieces in her mini-collection, inspired by Governor's Island (which was the challenge).

So, yes, go home, Laura. You're awful. What upsets me is that Heidi gave me hope. She said, and I quote, "One or more of you will be out." ONE OR MORE. That left room for them to decide it was high time Joshua packed up his 10 suitcases worth of attitude and headed back to whatever small-time Soho sewing club he came from. If I have to hear about his $100,000 worth of schooling that taught him the oh-so important mechanics of construction -- which apparently also taught him nothing about fashion-forward design -- I'm going to start muting the television whenever he's on. Plastic fabric, Josh? Really?

And yet, he goes through. He's in the finale. Why, oh why couldn't Kimberly have pulled out another miracle last night? She's got the talent. She just can't deal with deadline pressure. So it's so frustrating to watch her make mistakes, knowing that if she had the time, she could rethink and come up with something great. Isn't that how most of us do our best work? Trial and error until we come up with a surefire winner? I think that's how her mind works, and the two days for challenges just isn't enough time for her process. (Although, there was no saving those fabric choices: orange wool and silver plastic. Huh?)

Meanwhile, we have Josh, who when give more time to work, just keeps adding sh** to his clothes that make them worse than they were before.

Thank goodness they sent Kim through. I think, deep down, the judges know she'll turn in a great collection and that Josh, given months to work on a collection, will wheel out a rack of sad clown outfits. Maybe, if I'm very lucky, it'll be a Runway first, and Tim will see Josh's collection and say, "I'm really sorry, but we simply can't soil the name of 'Project Runway' during fashion week by letting you send this catastrophe down the Runway. Forget Heidi, I, personally, am auf-ing you." If only ...

But, I digress. Anya, once again, turned in the best collection last night. Chic and beautiful, fashion-forward, and she didn't even use prints this time, which is her old standby. Go Anya, go Anya, i's yo' birthday. ...sorry.

So, who will it come down to in the finale? Anya and Viktor, of course. Kim will come in third. Joshua will be humiliated. And all will be right in the world.

Project Runway is for the birds

At first sight of those birds, I was like, "Have you run out of ideas, 'Project Runway,' or are you just egregiously lazy." But as the challenge unfolded -- pitting two designers against each other, piling on a second look and then GASP! taking a second look out of the equation after all that work has been put in! -- I was on board. Totally on board.

It was an edge-of-your-seat evening for "Runway." The Kimberly drama was pretty intense. She's so talented, but she always gets caught up in thinking too much. One thing after another kept going wrong because her attitude and confidence were spiraling downward. And when that glue gun made a whole in that dress she'd been laboring over for hours? I gasped out loud. Clasped my hand over my mouth.

Yet, I kept thinking to myself, the designer who wins and the one who goes home always play a larger role in that respective episode. So all of the attention they were placing negatively on Kimberly, and I thought for sure she would actually be the winner. Somehow, she would pull it out.

Well, she didn't win. But that dress (white and silky, inspired by the cockatoo) that she delivered was TO DIE. Loved. If I didn't have mid-chub, I would LOVE to wear that dress. You pretty much have to be flat around the middle to rock a dress that bares skin down to the waistband. The white LEATHER waistband. Gorgeous.

My favorite dress of the night -- for once -- was the winner. Anya, my love. She pulled out another win on a $20,000 challenge. Inspired by the raven, the black structured dress was an innovative shape with super interesting details at the shoulder, waist and back "tail" area. I could not believe Joshua's attitude when he didn't win. He barely looked at Anya because her sewing skills aren't up to par. Well, dummy, it's a design competition, not "Project Seamstress." And hello? He put an orange bird corsage on the sleeve of his dress. Who would reward that with 20 grand? And I quote: "Then she had to get I-was-drunk-in-the-Caribbean corsage on her shoulder." -Michael Kors.

I have left the best news of Thursday night for last. Many of you have waited a long time with me for this, so let us savor these words together: Bert "the codger" Keeter has left the building. About ... damn ... time. His inspiration is a green parrot, and his princess dress from the 1980s is GRAY. The bodice is snake-skin silver, and the top layer of that flowy, ankle-length monstrosity is the same shade of metallic boredom. There was a pop of green underneath, which Heidi was like, "I get what he was trying to do." Good god, Heidi. How about YOU wear Bert's outdated rags and leave the rest of us out of it.

Anyway, he's gone. We can all breath a sigh of relief.
And if you're wondering who won over who in the bird-challenge smackdown, here goes:

Bert vs. Josh, team parrot -- Josh takes it.

Viktor vs. Kimberly, team cockatoo -- Kim pulls out the steal in the last three hours.

Anya vs. Laura -- Anya wins by a landslide, with Laura turning in her usual literal mess, only this time in pants.

One of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time - Heidi

At a certain point during the "Project Runway" season, front-runners appear. But I don't remember it ever being as obvious and exclusive as this year. If it wasn't so much fun to continuously watch the bad ones fail, there really wouldn't be a point to watch the weekly episodes until the finale. I mean, seriously.

Top Three: Viktor, Kimberly, Anya.

This fact was abundantly clear Thursday night as well. With the exception of Laura's second look, none of the other designers (those not listed above) made looks that were at all tasteful or wearable. The challenge was to make two 1970s looks that are also modern. So not literal is what they were looking for.

I was stunned Joshua didn't go home -- considering Heidi called one of his pieces "one of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time -- although the decision wreaked of a purposeful shock move, since Anthony Ryan has actually performed well in the past. Not Thursday, though, and he was booted for some fugly clothes.

Anya was the winner of the challenge. She had lost her money at Mood, and she created an outfit better than the majority with $11.50 donated to her by other designers. Her second look was cute, too. But I saw Kimberly as the clear winner with her pencil skirt and crop top.

And still, we can't seem to get rid of Bert. I thought for sure his Barbie-esque fabric selection and booty shorts would result in some Bert-bashing by the judges. But once again, they continue to kiss his old butt.

He'll get his soon enough. It's only a matter of a few weeks before Viktor, Anya and Kimberly make it to the finals. Mark my words!

Olivier designs for a 'plus size' man ...haha

I honestly think that the producers have sat around and thought, "How can we make this the funniest episode of 'Project Runway' that we've ever had?" And they're doing it! They're doing it!

Last week was awesome with the designing for straight guys' girlfriends. But designing for actual straight dudes? In a band, no less? Priceless.

They just floundered! It was as if none of them had ever seen a man before, and most of them actually are men, as you may recall. I was surprised that none of the male designers had ever made clothes for themselves before.

Once again, Olivier made a fool of me for having chosen him in the beginning as one of my favorites. He went home and for good reason. He kept calling the poor lead singer of the Sheepdogs "big." "He's just so much biggah than anyone I've eva seen in real life. He's just enormous." Well, something like that, anyway. He even referred to the poor man as "plus size." Isn't that a female clothing term? And isn't that also completely inaccurate? He was fairly average, if you ask me. ...Anyway, he chose yellow and blue fabric with swans on it for the shirt. Enough said. He was auf'd. Big time. Although if I'm being honest, I thought Kimblerly's orange bowling shirt was much worse.

The winner was Viktor. Hated the shirt, and really? A fringe jacket? But given the competition this week, it was the right decision.

Gay designers + straight men = Big laughs

Bahahhahahahahaaa!!!

The funniest series of moments in "Runway" history: Olivier, in a fake British accent, "Whaht iss double dee? What duss thaht mean?" (All serious to the camera) "I think the biggah boobs, they will be a prohblem for me."

Oh man ... a bunch of gay designers sitting around with heterosexual, boosie-loving men talking fashion ... now THAT'S good TV. Geriatric Bert standing by while some horned-up Italian motorboats his dress-making dummy? Come on! I'm dying over here ...

But let's get onto the business at hand. Bryce. He had such potential! He was one of my original choices, as you may recall. And if I had it my way, he would have skirted by last night with that pink mini and Anthony Ryan would have been sent packing for his 1987 V-neck monstrosity. (I was just having a conversation with a friend who was like, "Anthony Ryan's going all the way. He's got it." I'm like, "Got what? Crappy taste? Indeed, he does have it." Inyoface, anonymous friend.

As for who should have won but did not, Anya rocked it AGAIN last night. She was my No. 1 since day 1! Holla!!!! ...Oy, did I just say holla? I should be sent packing for that one.

Anyway, Viktor won. I don't object. It was a cute look. But it wasn't the best look of the night, not that the judges ever care about that.
ADDENDUM: I was wrong! Viktor did not win. I think I blocked out the fact that Joshua won, with his blah black cocktail dress. Why? I have no idea. I DO object!

Until next Runway ...

Heidi Klum and I are OVER

There are moments on "Project Runway" when I 100 percent cannot believe what I am hearing from the judges. Thursday night not only fit into that category, but I couldn't think of another night in all nine seasons when I've been more bewildered.

First, the challenge: The designers paired up with students from the Harlem art academy to create a painting together and then design an avant-garde garment inspired by the painting. I LOVED this challenge. Avant-garde challenges are always love it or leave it moments on the runway. There is usually no in between. Lots of drama.

I'm not going to rehash all of the outfits. Really, there are only two moments worth getting upset over.

No. 1 with a bullet: This is where Heidi Klum and I part ways FOREVER. I have tried to see her strange points of view in the past. But last night, when she was arguing for Bert's 1980s-pastel-clownpanted-tightankled-geometric-craft-project, I threw up my hands, quite literally, and said aloud in my empty living room, "I'm done! I'm (expletive) done. Heidi is an (expletive) idiot, and apparently blind," and just because she has decades of experience wearing high fashion does not mean she knows a darn thing about it. (And after a few seasons of watching "Project Runway," I guess that qualifies me as an expert ...)

There was a slight reprieve in that the other judges "didn't get" Bert's garment. But they were quite gentle in their criticism, and that is unacceptable. He should have been pushed into a corner and verbally socked in the stomach, repeatedly. We should have seen a Bert vs. judges smackdown, with him finally revealing his true colors as the workroom's biggest *itch. To say I was let down is the understatement of "Runway" history.

No. 2: There was only one moment on the runway that was breathtaking. The rest, quite frankly, were awful. (There are usually at least a couple to choose from. Not Thursday.) Kimberly! How was Kimberly not the winner of last night's challenge? Instead, she's in the middle of the pack. She doesn't event get feedback from the judges. The red feathers, the pleather, the asymmetric cut, the head piece ... somehow, she made all of those red-flag elements come together in complete and total cohesion. BEAUTIFUL.

I was telling my friend the other day that half the fun of "Runway" is getting pissed at the judges. I think I've changed my mind. It can't be healthy to be this angry over a TV show.

One designer managed the impossible ...

Late again, I know. Let's not dwell on it. : )

The challenge was OK on Thursday. I must admit, I get a bit of pleasure out of watching the designers' faces when they learn they will have to work in teams. (Bwahahahha) The big question: Who will get stuck with Bert, who is doing absolutely nothing for the AARP community, let me tell you. What a stodgy piece of work he is. I loved when he was looking directly at the four boxes on the counter filled with the designers' challenge clues, and poor Viktor is like, "They're right there! Can you bring me mine?" or something. And Bert's like, "What are you talking about? This counter is filled with stuff; I don't see any clues."

Anyway, back to the challenge. The designers worked in teams of three to make sportswear that would go well with a line of sneakers Heidi was involved with. ...Just as an aside, does anyone else raise an eyebrow when, so often, these judges are getting free work out of these designers? They're like, "Design us some stuff that we can sell and make a ton of money off of, and your reward will be that your name will be associated with my millions in profits, and we also will not humiliate you on the runway ... this week."

So who did we like? We'll get to that. There are more pressing matters at hand here. Because not another word can be written on this subject until we address the elephant in the room -- literally, the elephant -- which was the poor model that had to walk straight-faced down the runway wearing Anthony Ryan's camel-toe shorts. The short elicited the funniest and most accurate criticism of the night from Michael Kors: "You've managed to achieve the impossible. Those shorts are tight and baggy at the same time." I was rolling. The shiny shorts ballooned around the hips and were pulled tight just in the crotch. I was appalled. I was taken aback. And then I was just pissed that he wasn't the one who went home. Just look! Look, I say! How? How is that possible? NO part of this "garment" fits. Not one single part. WHY?

Now, I'm not saying I wanted to see yet another chiffon blouse from Danielle. I didn't. But I didn't throw up when her outfit came down the runway either. Still, she was the unlucky designer Thursday to be auf'd.

So back to who we did like. ... As much as I hate to admit it, I liked Bert's blue, Grecian top. That's all I'm going to say about it, because I think he's a pukey person, and I don't want to give him too many props. And plus, I think it was too fancy to go with sneakers, so there.

Bryce was my top pick of the evening. Super cool dress. Casual enough to go with sneakers, fashion forward with the snaps on the side, and could easily be dressed up with heals. Well done!

Viktor won the challenge, which is fine. His motorcycle jacket was really cool. I didn't care for the wrinkled gray dress underneath, but it wasn't awful, and it had a nice silhouette.

I must say, I hope the challenges get a little more interesting without being circus-like. The stilts? Worst in challenge history. The sportswear? Snooze. They need to start thinking about materials instead of gimmicks. The funnest challenges are the ones where they design beautiful clothes out of newspaper or produce. Creative, ultra challenging and the designers are never happy about it. How fun!

Totally behind on Runway

So, for the past two episodes of "Project Runway," I have forgotten to set the DVR to record. And, to my dismay, it is not OnDemand, so I'm having to try to catch it in reruns later in the week, and then I forget to blog because it's the weekend ... It's a whole to-do.

So, friends of 'Runway,' yet again I have missed "Runway" and am waiting for the newest episode to appear in reruns.

HOWEVER! I'm going to offer preliminary commentary based on viewing the fashion slideshow on MyLifetime.com.

So here's what I understood about the challenge from the LA Times: If you're a Nina Garcia fan, Thursday's "Project Runway" was a party all for you. It was certainly a party for Nina, who was still a judge, and was the only client, for whom each designer had to make a work-to-industry-evening-event outfit. And in case that wasn't enough all-about-Nina for you, the winning designer's work would be showcased in an ad featuring Nina on top of New York City cabs.

Well, OK. Not a particularly interesting challenge, but after last week's fiasco with the stilts, I'm fine with a tamer one. (What an absolutely ridiculous episode that was with the stilts. Talk about a circus stunt, with creepy models and even creepier garments. The judges railed on designers for making outfits too costumey? Are they serious? The pants are 10 feet tall! Good grief ...)

So, anyway, without reading about who won or lost, here's who I think rocked it in the Nina challenge.

Becky's was my favorite dress. I liked the wrap-dress affect and the splattered black fabric. But I suspect that it's a little too hip for Nina. She seems more of a solid gray or navy fabric kind of gal. Or black. Or something else boring.

I also really liked one of my pick's, Bryce. Gray and black fabric, like she would like. But those shoulders are a little too modern for her, me thinks.

Kimberly's gold wrap shirt was OK, too. Didn't go well with those blue pants, though. Weird.

So who sucked? EVERYONE ELSE. If I had to pick one, I'd say Julie's insane, asymmetric mess of a dress will be the loser this week. She's had numerous shots, and she's been terrible the whole time.

I'll update when I actually watch the show. Until then, auf Wiedersehen!

"It looks like she's nursing triplets" - Michael

Ah! I'm a big sucker for these crazy types of challenges where the "Project Runway" contestants have to go into unusual stores and make dresses out of produce and such. Last night the designers went into a pet store and had to make garments out of leashes and hamster bedding and aquarium beads and wee-wee pads. Loved it! So fun.

But I must say, the judges had it all wrong ...

I'm usually not one to argue with my picks doing well. But Oliver did not deserve to win. First of all, the judges railed on several contestants for using "fabric-like" materials, including an umbrella and pee pads, in a challenge that called for more unusual, creative materials. Yet, Oliver constructed his entire top out of a dog bed -- HELLO, FABRIC! -- and he won? I don't get it. I also don't get how they didn't nail him for the fit of that dress. The bottom was made out of hamster bedding, which is cool, but the muslin underneath he constructed it out of ballooned out. It looked boxy.

I definitely thought Anthony Ryan's bird seed dress was the best. The sunflower-seed collar was to die. Loved, loved, loved.

Then, on the flip side, they had Fallene in the very bottom. She almost went home. And I LOVED her dress. They kept calling it Autumn-ish and pumpkin-like and boring. She used aquarium kelp, cut it all up and glued it to the skirt, which I thought was plenty inventive. And it looked so cute. Any girl would want to wear that dress. Totally flattering.

I definitely agreed with who they sent home. The headline comment about nursing triplets was about Joshua's garment. The top was oversized and matronly, and he made it out of an umbrella. So there wasn't anything special about it. Utterly forgettable.

In the battle of the wee-wee pads, I'd definitely say Viktor is the winner for best use of that material. His purple cocktail dress was AMAZING. He dyed and manipulated that "fabric" to the point that you couldn't tell what it was. My boy, Bryce, on the other hand bombed with his flouncy, blue princess two-piece. As Heidi said, and I would agree, "I want to pee all over those wee-wee pads."

'What grown-up wants to wear a bib?'

Lol! The judges' commentary are always my favorite part of "Project Runway," and as season 9 kicked off Thursday night, they did not disappoint! Heidi was responsible for the snarky remark in the headline, and I loved Michael Kors' follow-up: "She's wearing like a Flintstone disco pouch." Ha!!!

These comments were directed toward Rafael, who was sort of the first to be auf'd. (I'll get more to that later.) Honestly, it was a three-way tie for me as to who should pack up their tacky clothes and roll that suitcase right on out of Manhattan.

First, let's talk about the challenge. The 16 designers were woken out of a peaceful slumber and told to travel down to the studio in their pj's carrying their white bed sheets with them. They had to design a garment for a female with their pajama fabric and sheets, given closures (buttons and zippers, etc.) and dye to change the fabric color. I LOVED this challenge. So fun! But I was TOTALLY grossed out by some of the fabric being used. The old guy, Bert, literally took off his peach checkered boxes and incorporated it into a cocktail dress. Forgive me, but there are prime areas of that fabric I hope weren't touching that poor model in any way. HOLY UNSANITARY, BATMAN.

So, who sucked ...

Rafael, for SURE. I think it was Michael who said it looked like the model put on the grey, skin-tight pants and white blouse and then had too big of a meal, so she was popping out of the whole ensemble. Just the weirdest, most ill-fitting, crotch-hugging pants I've ever seen. And the bib they were referring to was a nasty, leopard print head scarf that he fashioned into a "necklace." It was a bib.

Despite the fact that the judges picked him to WIN the challenge, I hated Bert's cocktail dress. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't get over the underwear-hanging-off-this-poor-girl's-boob aspect. But I thought it looked all weird and twisty and amiss. Kind of just hung on her, all willy nilly. Honestly, when he was left on the stage to answer to the judges, I thought it would be bad news for Bert.

But Julie, who was in the bottom, presented the hottest mess of any garment in Runway history. Oh yeah, I went there. And I'm owning that statement! Oversized cargo pants that looked like they were inside out, with the droopiest butt and the saddest sickly grey color EVER. A hot pink cartoonish print on the tee, wrapped with a second bold, crazy color. How does sickly gray go with cartoon pink and yellow? Not only was it in poor taste, but it showed that she has no vision, poor construction abilities, and she works HORRIBLY under pressure. For me, it would have been Julie, and I would have gotten quite nasty about it as well.

Who's AWESOME ...

Ok, let's just pause for a moment and appreciate what Anya put forth last night. FREAKING AMAZEBALLS. This chick learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. The judges weren't even going to let her compete! Because they were afraid she couldn't handle all the sewing! Then, out of frickin' nowhere, she dyes fabric to a beautiful shade of grey and makes HER FIRST PAIR OF PANTS EVER from it. And they fit like every woman wishes her pants would fit. Did you see that tushy? WHAT TUSHY?! And she was able to make a beautiful, Asian inspired halter blouse out of silk. SILK! Who in the hell can sew silk? I'll tell you who: Anya, who just learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. And she's gorgeous, too. And she's cool. Why do the pretty ones have to have it all? ...

There were three surprises for me. ...

1. Cecelia did very well -- that was a surprise. There was a casting special that started the show where four designers were eliminated out of a batch of 20. (What a waste of time. I don't need to see who they DIDN'T WANT. Just get to the challenge already, am I right?) Cecelia was on the cusp of being auf'd. But she made it through, and her outfit was actually really cute. Tangerine skirt. Well-constructed, bodice-esque top. I liked it. Except for the slip up near the butt crevice. Didn't like that.

2. One of my favorites from casting videos on the website was Serena. I would have worn any of her clothes. Gorgeous! And she didn't make it through to the 16 final designers. Sad.

3. One of my top favorites, Olivier, didn't make it into the top. He was just in the middle. And I was surprised at the lackluster quality of his garment. It was a drab color. Neutral. Nothing special. A skirt and a top. But, I don't know, I'm sticking with him, I think. He's cute. Funny.

So here are my picks for people who will do quite well ...

Anya and Olivier. I have a good feeling. Oh, I also loved Bryce! Here was his outfit.
Now tell me who you liked!

Until next week ... Auf Wiedersehen!

Runway: Blondies rule and Qristyl drools

Winner: Althea
Auf'd: Qristyl

First of all, who cares. I find that I lose a lot of interest in the show when the designers have a boring challenge. What could be more boring than designing a cocktail dress for their own model. I was more surprised by how far some of the designers were bending over backward to meet the model's requests. The first thing I would have said: "You want me to pick you next week, right? Then whatever I make for you, you better strut yourself down that runway and praise every stitch of that dress, got it?" There, problem solved.

Shirin has quickly become my little favorite. Not as a designer, but as a personality. She's so adorable, which is probably why she had so much trouble saying no to her model last night. I was quite nervous for her when she was asked to design a royal blue jumpsuit. Thank God she finally took it her own way and made a dress just good enough to get her through to the next round. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Let's get down to who stunk up the place.

It was a battle among the ladies last night, with the blondies coming out on top. Qristyl made a dress that at least had some interest to it halfway through the show. Now, granted, it was a bit messy, and Tim said as much. In fact, he said something about it looking like the model had been rolling around in bed all day. (I won't ask what she was doing.) Anyhow, she made the mistake of scrapping that dress and playing it safe with a little black number with an old lady silhouette. Never play it safe! Ever! The dress was wearable, which is what they called Johnny's purple frock as well. On Runway, "wearable" can be extremely bad unless that word is closely followed by "chic" or "edgy." Just wearable is doom. And it certainly was for Qristyl, who hit the fashion highway last night.

Logan sucked, too, with his silky and lace electric blue number. Basically a prom dress. But he looked so cute in his tight silver pants and matching shoes, they just couldn't let him go. (Thank you, judges.)

As I mentioned, the blond girls were on their game last night. It was a battle between Althea and Carol Hannah. Personally, I loved Carol Hannah's the best. She made a draped purple top with a Grecian neckline and asymetrical straps, coupled with a hard, structured pencil skirt with a little surprise of flowy fabric in the back. Beautiful! She was my pick last night.

Althea's was good, too. She put a new spin on the black suit. A puffy little skirt with bunchy bits of interest and a jacket with three-quarter sleeves. I liked it. Didn't love it. But the judges did, so she won.

As always, I have to mention our Minnesota Chris. I worried for our boy last night. That color of green fabric he chose was quite reminiscent of seaweed, and then he put two black bands around it that sort of made it looked like a bunch of celery tied up. Oh, how I worried. But he got a pass. Careful, Chris! You're our only hope of taking home the "PR" title to Minnesota. Do us proud!

Project Runway Season 6 is on!

First, let's just get this out of the way: Hurray! Project Runway is back! I was so happy to see that it's the show we all know and love and has not been bastardized by Lifetime or the move to L.A. So let's all breathe a sigh of relief, and get down to business ...

Weirdos:

Ari Fish: "What if you don't sketch?" she says, before doing a headstand. (And she designed a gross little silver jumper. Michael Kors called it a disco soccer ball. Ha! Agreeeeeed. So did the rest of the judges because she was the first to be auf'd.)

Malvin Vien: "I don't differentiate between colors of carpets," he says, about having to design for the red carpet. (Um, the red carpet is a sacred space for Hollywood glamor. Respect it, weirdo. Who are you designing for if you don't aspire to the red carpet? Your mom?)

Epperson: The one name, no last name, says it all. Get over yourself. You suck. (Plus, your purple dress looked like drapes in a parlor.)

Carol Hannah Whitfield: Weird Victorian-style costume. Ugly color of creamy yellow, too.

Mitchell Hall: Even his first attempt which didn't fit was quite odd. The second attempt? Horrific. I cannot believe they gave him a pass on this sheer dress he threw together tonight. It's totally unwearable. Nina Garcia said those exact words. He failed, so why did he not get kicked out?

Lindsay Lohan: As a guest judge, she looked quite lost. As if anyone would take her advice on what to wear on the red carpet.

Loved:

Gordana Gehlhausen: Beautiful, beautiful blue cocktail dress.

R'amon-Lawrence Coleman: Sophistocated and lovely! "Chic, well-made and respectable" is how Michael Kors described his dress. This is how purple is done correctly, Epperson.

Chris Straub: Our very own Shakopee, MN, boy. We gotta root for our homegrown, right? "Cute and edgy" is how Michael Kors described his challenge dress. I agree! And he won the first challenge!

My final picks to go all the way, you ask? Chris and R'amon. I expect great things. Although, in all honesty, I didn't see any clear front-runners tonight. In previous seasons, it's been much easier to tell which ones will be going home quite soon and which will go all the way. Chris and R'amon did well tonight, and that's the only thing I'm basing my decision on. The "vision" wasn't as visible in their garments as it has been for previous designers in the first challenges, such as Korto and Ulee and Michael in previous seasons.

Be sure and read below about the "All-Star Challenge," which ushered in the new season with a two-hour special episode.

All Star Challenge ushers in new Project Runway season

WHAT!? Daniel? I feel like I was the only one who actually saw Daniel's collection. Who in the world would wear torn-up sports wear that falls two inches below the models' asses? I don't understand. I seriously don't. Two hours of an "All-Star" challenge, and this is the result.

Speaking of "All-Star," what is up with all these runner-ups and fourth and even fifth place winners? They should have had the first five first-place winners and then three of our favorite second-placers. I had no desire to see what Sweet Pea couldn't do again this time around.

I really thought tonight a wrong would be righted when either Ulee or Korto took the prize tonight. In Ulee's season (3), Jeffrey took the top prize and absolutely shocked me. His stuff tonight was awful. And even though it made a statement and was well constructed during the finals of season 3, Ulee's collection was beautiful and feminine and could be worn by so many women. The same was true tonight. I was glad the judges put Jeffrey in the bottom four tonight, but I was so sad Ulee was with him. I thought her and Korto had the best collections by far.

Korto, who came in second tonight, was also my pick last season. Leanne's was more innovative and beautiful. But it was more arty than it was wearable. Tonight, her collection was absolutely stunning.

I did think Chris March deserved to be in the top four. I know, I can hardly believe it myself. With all the sleeping he did tonight, I was surprised he managed to get anything done at all. But I'd wear any one of those coats. ...Maybe not the orange leggings, though. Still, his collection shocked me. I was used to seeing lots of cone boobs and drag queens.

So my top four would have been Chris March, Korto, Ulee and Michael, with Korto as the winner.

But, then, I guess it wouldn't be Project Runway if it didn't piss me off. More than anything, I was just glad to see the same show I've known and loved for five seasons. Thank God the move to Lifetime didn't ruin everything. ...All right, time for season 6! I'll be back in an hour with my thoughts.

P.S. Hurray for Santino being in the bottom four! What a blow-hard. "Project Runway didn't make me, I made Project Runway." ...I'm just going to say it. If the show uses him for anything else, I will stop watching. Do you hear me, Project Runway!? Never again!