Runway Week 2: Big beautiful bellies

Winner: Shirin. (Yayyy!!!)
Auf'd: Malvin. (Well ...OK.)

What a fun challenge tonight: design maternity wear for Rebecca Romijn. I was impressed with most of the designers tonight. Not easy to make women look beautiful with a big beach ball under their shirts.

I thought for sure Minnesota Chris would be in the top three tonight. His had a great fuschia color on top, lots of volume and movement, and two pieces, which was a nice change from the majority.

I wasn't quite sure what they were thinking putting Louise's red lingerie style cocktail dress in the top three. It was tiered and bulky and had a big flower on the shoulder. Sort of like a pregnant woman in a bordello.

The other two top threes were fabulous, especially Shirin's with the coat and the longer merlot dress. She cinched in the waste just on top of the pregnancy belly, which drew attention to the belly, but in a classy, intentional way, rather than trying to hide it. And yay, she won!

The bottom three certainly didn't disappoint in extreme weirdness. Malvin had a good start with a black tank, but he covered it with a cream-colored sling that the judges called "the chicken egg." It looked like the model had already had the baby and was carrying it under the shirt.

R'amon took a serious turn from last week. He was one of my picks to go all the way, as you will remember. Tonight he made a purple and gray bowling ball case, as Mitchell pointed out. Not good, R'amon. You're making me look bad.

Once again, Mitchell proved he can't stand the heat. Last week he sent a sheer, floor-length dress down the runway that showed EVERYTHING. The poor model was practically nude. This week he made sad, poofy, matronly bloomer shorts. Brown, no less. Underneath a tight white shirt, no less! Straaaaange, Mitchell.

Yet, somehow, he managed to squeak by once again. What in the world these judges see in him, I have no idea. ...Although, I can't say I was sad to see Malvin go. "I guess I'm too conceptual for America," he said. Yep, if he thinks conceptual means freakish, then absolutely.

Off to give "Models of the Runway" one more try. I'm not thinking I'm going to get hooked on this one. I can't bring myself to care about whether they get a spread in Marie Claire magazine. I'm sure all 16 of them will be just fine.

Don't worry, Green Day fans

Hello all!

Still getting a lot of questions and e-mails about Green Day. I know it's been quiet, and it will continue to be quiet for a while. But everyone should stay tuned and stay pumped. Things are happening. Slow but sure, people!

Project Runway Season 6 is on!

First, let's just get this out of the way: Hurray! Project Runway is back! I was so happy to see that it's the show we all know and love and has not been bastardized by Lifetime or the move to L.A. So let's all breathe a sigh of relief, and get down to business ...

Weirdos:

Ari Fish: "What if you don't sketch?" she says, before doing a headstand. (And she designed a gross little silver jumper. Michael Kors called it a disco soccer ball. Ha! Agreeeeeed. So did the rest of the judges because she was the first to be auf'd.)

Malvin Vien: "I don't differentiate between colors of carpets," he says, about having to design for the red carpet. (Um, the red carpet is a sacred space for Hollywood glamor. Respect it, weirdo. Who are you designing for if you don't aspire to the red carpet? Your mom?)

Epperson: The one name, no last name, says it all. Get over yourself. You suck. (Plus, your purple dress looked like drapes in a parlor.)

Carol Hannah Whitfield: Weird Victorian-style costume. Ugly color of creamy yellow, too.

Mitchell Hall: Even his first attempt which didn't fit was quite odd. The second attempt? Horrific. I cannot believe they gave him a pass on this sheer dress he threw together tonight. It's totally unwearable. Nina Garcia said those exact words. He failed, so why did he not get kicked out?

Lindsay Lohan: As a guest judge, she looked quite lost. As if anyone would take her advice on what to wear on the red carpet.

Loved:

Gordana Gehlhausen: Beautiful, beautiful blue cocktail dress.

R'amon-Lawrence Coleman: Sophistocated and lovely! "Chic, well-made and respectable" is how Michael Kors described his dress. This is how purple is done correctly, Epperson.

Chris Straub: Our very own Shakopee, MN, boy. We gotta root for our homegrown, right? "Cute and edgy" is how Michael Kors described his challenge dress. I agree! And he won the first challenge!

My final picks to go all the way, you ask? Chris and R'amon. I expect great things. Although, in all honesty, I didn't see any clear front-runners tonight. In previous seasons, it's been much easier to tell which ones will be going home quite soon and which will go all the way. Chris and R'amon did well tonight, and that's the only thing I'm basing my decision on. The "vision" wasn't as visible in their garments as it has been for previous designers in the first challenges, such as Korto and Ulee and Michael in previous seasons.

Be sure and read below about the "All-Star Challenge," which ushered in the new season with a two-hour special episode.

All Star Challenge ushers in new Project Runway season

WHAT!? Daniel? I feel like I was the only one who actually saw Daniel's collection. Who in the world would wear torn-up sports wear that falls two inches below the models' asses? I don't understand. I seriously don't. Two hours of an "All-Star" challenge, and this is the result.

Speaking of "All-Star," what is up with all these runner-ups and fourth and even fifth place winners? They should have had the first five first-place winners and then three of our favorite second-placers. I had no desire to see what Sweet Pea couldn't do again this time around.

I really thought tonight a wrong would be righted when either Ulee or Korto took the prize tonight. In Ulee's season (3), Jeffrey took the top prize and absolutely shocked me. His stuff tonight was awful. And even though it made a statement and was well constructed during the finals of season 3, Ulee's collection was beautiful and feminine and could be worn by so many women. The same was true tonight. I was glad the judges put Jeffrey in the bottom four tonight, but I was so sad Ulee was with him. I thought her and Korto had the best collections by far.

Korto, who came in second tonight, was also my pick last season. Leanne's was more innovative and beautiful. But it was more arty than it was wearable. Tonight, her collection was absolutely stunning.

I did think Chris March deserved to be in the top four. I know, I can hardly believe it myself. With all the sleeping he did tonight, I was surprised he managed to get anything done at all. But I'd wear any one of those coats. ...Maybe not the orange leggings, though. Still, his collection shocked me. I was used to seeing lots of cone boobs and drag queens.

So my top four would have been Chris March, Korto, Ulee and Michael, with Korto as the winner.

But, then, I guess it wouldn't be Project Runway if it didn't piss me off. More than anything, I was just glad to see the same show I've known and loved for five seasons. Thank God the move to Lifetime didn't ruin everything. ...All right, time for season 6! I'll be back in an hour with my thoughts.

P.S. Hurray for Santino being in the bottom four! What a blow-hard. "Project Runway didn't make me, I made Project Runway." ...I'm just going to say it. If the show uses him for anything else, I will stop watching. Do you hear me, Project Runway!? Never again!

Project Runway Returns!

Hi all! A big story comes out Thursday on Project Runway. There's tons to look forward to and also to dread. ...As we all know, the show is moving to (gulp) Lifetime. Oh, dear me. We're talking about the network whose bread and butter is wife-beater movies and programming about not-so-pretty women finding inner beauty. Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! I pray the network will allow the Project Runway folks to just do their thing and not provide "guidance." ...OK, I admit that on a Saturday or two I have gotten sucked into a movie about a college woman who finds herself in an abusive relationship, starring Tori Spelling. But that doesn't mean I want that kind of camp in my Runway. Step off, Lifetime.

But so far, things look good. Go to the Web site. It's actually pretty cool. You can search through the designers' portfolios, and there's a ton of other cool multimedia stuff. Also, I'm wayyyy looking forward to the two hour preamble, the All Star Designer Challenge - eight former Runway stars come back to vie for the championship at $100,000. Pretty neat.

I'm not really looking forward to the new show about the Project Runway models. I guess I don't really care what their opinions are on the clothes. I fear it will devolve into a whiney "My designer is totally ruining my life by making me wear these hideous clothes." Perhaps this is where Lifetime is showing its ugly face, in this program. If some chick cries during at least one segment of every show, or if the models are forced to live together and every episode devolves into cattiness, then I'm out. But I'll give the first one a try.

Don't forget to read up on the show Thursday in Currents, and tune in Thursday night to the shows. Check back here Friday for the latest.

Captain kids, Tommy Dreamer, Craig Morgan and Static-X

Everyone should check out the story on Captain Eleven running tomorrow in the Freep, cover of the Currents section. They're a great group of guys. So, I guess, sometimes good things come out of bad things. For background, view the 38 or so comments on the Meat Puppets review below.

Tomorrow I also will be talking to a person by the name of Tommy Dreamer of the WWE. I have actually never seen an episode ... is that the right word? ... of said program, so I must do my research. I had planned to bring in a ringer. Ryan Gehrke, the manager of Blockbuster, is a fan. I planned to bring him in and record his conversation with the wrestler and then transcribe it as a Q&A, to save him from having to write an actual story out of it. But he claims he can't get out of work. As the manager of the store, I find that hard to believe. Perhaps a small case of cold feet? Star-struckedness? (Ryan, if you're reading this, I will gladly publish your retaliation here to make this a fair squabble.)

In the past two weeks, I've also spoken to Craig Morgan, country star, and Tony Campos, Static-X bass player. Talk about diversity. You can't get much different than that when comparing musicians. Static-X should be a good show if you like really heavy music. He was a fun interview too. Well, from what I could hear. He was on a cell phone making this swoooosh noise the whole time and it would cut out entireley when he'd go through tunnels.

That's all for now. Happy Wednesday, kind readers.