That's all, folks. Couch to 5K is off.

Last night I was nervous, but excited about attempting to run again after 9 days out due to knee injury. So I went online and bought a pair of Nike Duel Fusions I had my eye on. Black and pink. Very sassy. Might catch people's eye as I blow past them like a rocket on the track!

This morning the knees felt good. I did what Runner's World advised, and I didn't attempt a return until I felt absolutely no pain in my knees. Runner's Knee, as they call it, can become a chronic condition if you push before you're ready.

I strapped on my knee brace, put on my runner's under things (heehee), slapped on my watch with the timer, and I put orthopedics in my shoes for added support. Felt like a suit of armor or something, all for a few spins around a track.

But I still had that uneasy feeling in my tummy. It was that feeling of dread I had every morning I was headed to the Y last year to meet my personal trainer. I knew she was going to put me through the ringer, and she always did. Today's nerves were about whether my knees would hold up to jumping back into week 2 of the couch-to-5K program.

The Y is crazy on a Saturday. The parking lot, alone, is an epic battle. And then I got into the track and there was some event going on in the gym below, so it was loud and distracting. Not to mention the various walkers and runners on the track. These were the first couple of elements to begin building the dam of frustration.

The actual running built the rest of it. Pain. Both knees. And after just over a week, I took a hit to the stamina. Three minutes of running was hard for both of those reasons. After 10 minutes, I was done. So was my left knee, already swollen inside the brace.

And as if the running gods hadn't had enough of a laugh at my expense already, as I climbed onto the elliptical feeling defeated and powerless, "Born to Run" came on the mp3 player. I kid you not. I never thought I'd have the urge to turn that song off, but today, Bruce, you had to go.

So I was the idiot near tears in the Life Center today deciding that I'm quitting Couch to 5K for now. Maybe I'll try again this summer, just so I don't feel like I completely wasted a ton of money on all that running crap I thought I would need. Or maybe one sad little mile is my running-legacy. (As you can tell, I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. This isn't pretty.)

Thanks for your encouragement, anyway. Now off to ruin the rest of a perfectly good Saturday by staying inside grading a ton of papers and essays. Best weekend ever.