Hopefully Billy Crystal won't ruin the Oscars

The biggest night in Hollywood is just 9 days away! Oh my! ... But my excitement is tempered by the fact that I will endure two-plus hours of Billy Crystal. I'm not sure they could have chosen someone more out of touch with the public tone and discourse.

How do you even describe his humor? It's observational, which I like. But maybe it's his delivery. It's old-fashioned. Passe. He does "bits."

I don't blame the Oscar folks for freaking out after last year's disaster when they hired James Franco and Anne Hathaway to co-host to reel in the "younger viewers." Franco decided to phone it in, causing Hathaway to overcompensate, and between the two of them, they became the worst Oscar hosts in the 83 years of the show. But they've really over-corrected here by dialing the show back 25 years by inviting someone so out of the public eye to host.

Who would have been good? Ellen. Ellen definitely is both beloved and strikes the right comedic tone for our time. One website suggested Ryan Reynolds and Sandy Bullock cohost. Both are hilarious and have great chemistry. I'd be all for that. Ryan Gosling would be my personal choice. I mean, the absolute TRAVESTY of him being shut out of best acting nominations this year for "Drive," "Crazy, Stupid Love" or "The Ides of March" ... what does a guy have to do to get some Oscar love? Three great movies? Three great performances? In one year? Are you kidding me? The Academy could make it up to me by asking Gosling to host ... in his boxer-briefs ... or something.

Hopefully Crystal won't embarrass himself. He'll definitely sing, which he seems to enjoy doing. (Jeez.) And he'll do "bits," incorporating himself into the best picture nominees. (Ho-hum.) But maybe in an effort to keep the show at two hours, they won't let him try to milk too much limelight time out of this. It'll probably be his last, after all, until he's old enough to start collecting those life-time achievement awards.