Thursday, February 2, 2012

Frustration mounts, and I have that icky quitter feeling

My left leg is perched on my ottoman at home, and I have the worst pinch in my left hip than I've ever felt. When I walk, it feels more like a crunch.

For the first 15 minutes of day four of my couch to 5k today, I WAS SO HAPPY. My lungs have been the issue this week. They burn so bad that I feel like I can't get enough air. But today, they didn't burn at all. It was more my legs that felt heavy. Maybe they've felt heavy all week and I haven't noticed because of all the burning in my lungs. ... But anyway, I was about 10 yards into my fourth running segment when I felt some sort of twist in my hip. It was immediate, and I could barely walk.

I hobbled out into the hallway and stretched it for a bit. But frustration set in pretty much immediately. I know it's because of my shoes. I haven't had money to invest in running shoes. And that just made me madder because I kept thinking about all these pieces of advice-command hybrids from runners that not only added up in dollars, but also pains-in-the-tuckus.

Me: I don't own a watch and I need to track my running minutes. Does anyone I know, like in life -- anyone at all -- own a watch or a stopwatch they aren't using?
Everyone in the world: No. You have to go buy a watch. You should get a stopwatch that you can program and alert you to when you need to start running again. They're the best kinds of watches for runners.
Me: I have blisters. How do you run with blisters?
Runners: You need sweat-wicking socks if you want to be a runner. You need moleskin to put on your blisters.
Me: Mole-what? ... Maybe I should lose the rest of my weight first. I'm bouncing all over the place when I run. Gives a whole new meaning to booty-shake.
Runners: You need Spanx or quality spandex shorts. That's what I use, as well as a sports bra. You have to buy quality under-things if you want to be a runner.
Me: My toes are hurting a little. These shoes are too small.
Runners: Those shoes won't do anyway. You need good quality shoes. You need to spend an enormous amount of money on shoes. Do you want to run? Then you have to spend money on shoes. Shoes are everything. Buy shoes.

So, basically, I need new gear from head to toe, and unless I plan on doing laundry every day, I need several sets of "good quality under-things." And since running is the most important thing in the universe, I guess I'd better get on it right now.

Gah! I'm going to take a step back here and just think this out. I need my hip to feel better anyway before I can try again, so I'm going to just think about whether the ginormous hassle of running is even worth it. I lost 74 pounds without running AT ALL. So there are other ways to be healthy, right?

But I know myself, and I know backing down from a challenge this early will make me feel really bad.

I don't know. I just don't know.

1 comment:

  1. That sounds expensive! The advice where people are telling you that you NEED this or that and all this expensive gear---REALLY? Honestly girl, I am not a runner, but I don't believe you need to go blow a lot of money on expensive gear to run and feel comfortable. I understand good running shoes, but all the other things, you don't need an expensive stop watch. That is just me. I am more of thrifty type of a girl. I wouldn't be able to afford what your friends are talking about in all this expensive gear. Check out the thrift stores. When it comes to the sports bra-- I just put on sports bra-- our breasts change when we gain or lose weight. You want to wear a sports bra! It wouldn't be comfortable to run with no bra on-- at least I don't think it would be--- I can speak for myself and my boobs! ;) You want to support your boobs-- but I personally don't think you need to go blow $60 or more on sports bras. I see people running all the time and I am sure that some of them simply are thrifty and don't feel the need to have five pairs of new gym clothes just to have fun and run. It is not a fashion show. It is to be healthy and keep fit, right? If people have the funds to go buy five pairs of new work out clothes, stop watches, a really expensive sports bra or two, expensive running shoes, etc. -- good for them. I guess whatever makes them happy and is best for them. REMEMBER- It may not be best for you. You can listen to their advice- but ultimately be true to yourself and do what is best for you! :) If anyone judges you for what you wear when you run, honestly boot them out the door! :D You don't need people who are going to drag you down. You are doing good! If you can't afford all these expenses your friends are suggesting, it is OK. DO what is best for you! Keep running if you want. Don't beat yourself up! Listen to your body! It is ultimately what makes YOU feel good and makes YOU happy. :) Also, I hope your hip gets better!