I was nervous going to the Y this morning to meet with Jackie, my trainer, for the second time. The past two days of full-body pain made me start to wonder if I could keep up this schedule. I have two jobs, two dogs, a big house to take care of ... I have to be able to function. I have to be able to at least climb the stairs in my house and at the paper.
I was very pleasantly surprised. Today went very well, I thought. I don't have full-body pains. I just feel, in the muscle groups we worked today, a sort of weighty feeling, like a pulling. But it's not horrible pain. So I'm excited about that.
I'm also excited to be near the end of the week. I can't believe almost two weeks have gone by since I've been "on the wagon." It's a good feeling! Every morning I wake up not regretting the candy or ice cream I had for dinner the night before. Because I'm not eating candy or ice cream!
I'm looking forward to my Monday weigh-in. I've been asked if I'm going to report my weight loss every week, and after thinking about it, I've decided not to. Maybe for the first couple of weeks so everyone knows that I'm making progress.
But I won't be reporting a starting weight, goal weight or total weight loss. Whenever someone says, for example, "I used to be 400 pounds! I lost 275 pounds, and I now I feel wonderful about myself." That's amazing! Good for them. But many people only think of the person pre-weightloss as being a number. She was only 400 pounds. She wasn't a whole person. Only after the weightloss do we see her as happy and confident and even worthwhile in a lot of ways. I don't feel that way at all. In many ways I'm a very happy and confident person. I like who I am. This is just one aspect of my life that needs work. So I don't want to be known as a number. I will be keeping those things between myself and my trainer.
Anyhow, I've still got another hour and 40 minutes left of gym time for the week, so maybe I'll see you there.