Today was pretty major. I felt like I had something to prove, which we'll get to in a minute. All alone at about 7 a.m. on the track at the Y, I cranked up some LMFAO and ran like a slight breeze. But a steady breeze! I ran for a solid 30 minutes, which I estimate was about 2 1/2 miles.
I'm excited. I mean, sort of. I would be more excited had I not ran outside for the first time the other day ...
My dog was itching for a walk. And I hadn't been able to get to the gym that day. So I thought I would try my first outdoor run with a fat dog with ADD. The experience couldn't have been more defeating. My pockets were full of poopy bags, tissues, my phone and an mp3. I had my dog's leash in one hand, and two blocks later, a bag of her poo in the other hand. Then there were the distractions. Every tree or hydrant or bush or pile of leaves, I had to yank fat dog along. Every intersection felt like it had a car waiting for me, or me waiting for them. There were walkers and strollers and other dogs to meander around. And running against the wind, that was a lot of fun. And then there was the terrain itself. I swear, it looked flat to me. I was running on North Broad near Tourtellotte and over on 4th, and for whatever reason, running on sidewalk felt twice as hard. The whole outdoor running experience: twice as hard. So I got maybe one solid 10-minute run in, and then the rest was six- or seven-minute runs with lots of walking and dog-yanking in between.
This made me sad. I HATE TO FAIL. I also hate to not be able to do something with relative ease or speed.
So this morning, I retreated to my familiar, smooth, flat, calm, distraction-free track at the Y, feeling, like I said, as if I had something to prove. I could have kissed the track, it went so well. Thirty minutes was no walk in the park, especially not the last eight minutes or so. But it was so much easier than outside.
But knowing that actual runners do this outside, that that's where you're supposed to be a runner, I feel like my 30 has an asterisk or something. Like it's still not for real yet. At some point, I've got to take my game to the streets, players. And now there's this huge mental block in the way.
Maybe I should just get some more practice in at the Y and then run shorter distances outside.