I'm kind of a mess emotionally right now, and I admit to wanting the whole world to forget about my fit-fight.
Bubble boy had it better than he thought. I was thinking this morning how awesome it would be to be protected from prying eyes (and commentary) for the last leg of my journey. Kind of like on "The Biggest Loser" when they go home for a long chunk and get to finish it out sans public scrutiny. If only, if only ...
I don't regret my decision to lose weight publicly. Without my trainer and this blog, I doubt I would have lost 50 ell-bees. There just have been way too many excuses in the past to not get started. I didn't trust myself.
But I do admit that it's been wearing me down lately, especially since I've pretty much sucked the better part of two months now. It's a constant game of stop and go, and it's done quite a number on my self-esteem.
This morning I laid in bed trying to muster the drive to make it to my 7:50 a.m. appointment (non-work related). Instead, I thought, "With 40 days left of your public weight-loss campaign, you'd better get your priorities in order." So, without any drive or inspiration or motivation whatsoever, I skipped my appointment and went to the gym.
Honestly, I have no idea what fueled my hour-long workout this morning. Maybe just the realization that this journey isn't just my own. So very many people are watching. So it's time to just shut up, and to borrow a very successful marketing campaign slogan, just do it.
So there it is. Feeling blue. Feeling uninspired. But every damn day for the next 40 days until the month 7 mark, I will go to the gym. No excuses.
And because enclosing myself in a plastic bubble isn't an option, take it easy on me, if you would. Let's talk about something else when I see you.