It's not uncommon to receive anonymous letters in this line of work. We put an opinion or a story out there, and sometimes they don't always sit well with readers.I respect and appreciate the opinions of readers that are not hateful, but rather passionate and supported by facts or personal beliefs. I also respect and appreciate readers who sign their names to such letters.
Often -- and in the case of a letter I received Monday in regard to MTV's "16 and Pregnant" teen being filmed in Mankato -- the anonymous letter-writer states that he or she did not sign his or her name because they're too ashamed of the situation that they're writing out. That's bull. They're afraid.
They know full well that when one attacks with hatred, they will often receive it in return. So they use the old anonymous letter as a way to vent frustration. To what end? I have no idea. I wonder if this particular letter-writer thought I would say to myself, "Ah ha! I knew I was missing something. Why in the world was I thinking it would be a good idea to report on an MTV camera crew being in town, filming all over the city and causing commotion and making people wonder what is going on? After all, she's just a 'loser knocked-up teenager,'" to borrow her words.
Well, Anonymous Writer, today your words will be published right here on this blog to give people the opportunity to weigh in on your thoughts. We don't have your name, of course. But whoever responds, I will gladly correspond with you if you provide yours.
Here is the letter (the bolded sections were bolded by the writer, presumably for added emphasis.) ... Please note her presumption, by the way, that this teenager doesn't have a decent family to help care and pay for the child (I know this to be incorrect, by the way) and that the state will be paying for everything from birth to college. Also note that as a decent "married woman" and "responsible person," as she calls herself, who has never met this young girl, she has made the all-knowing judgment that the girl should either abort her baby or give it up for adoption:
To: Amanda Dyslin, Free Press Features Editor
RE: "MTV is among us, probably for a while" (should be awhile?) anyway ------
Your story today was very sobering. Our community will be supporting yet another bastard child born to a loser knocked-up teenager.
I would suggest more stories on this subject to include:
1. This girl is being exploited while MTV is raking in huge dollars and they don't give a crap about what happens to the lives involved.
2. The only happy ending would be adoption.
3. Another happy ending would be abortion?
4. The bill to taxpayers??? $15,000+ labor, delivery, physician visits (If it is uncomplicated), ADC, numerous government programs for counseling, housing, work supplements, breakfast and lunch when in school, a free education, etc. etc. Outrageous, pathetic.
5. Extol the fine work of Planned Parenthood.
As a MARRIED mother, college graduate, and responsible person, I cannot give my name because I am embarrassed for our community and this situation makes me sick and angry.
I like that 'married' is highlighted in the letter... Very funny. :/ Some of the new Tea Party mentality, though quite conservative, is actually 'pro-choice' in a weird way, mostly their extreme fear of taxes/human services. It's pretty interesting, to say the least. And pretty hateful, to say the most I guess.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the angry people that call in to the radio station and shout a bunch of insults and hang up when something they don't like is played/said. Some people need to grow a pair.
ReplyDeleteBeing married and a college graduate doesn't automatically make a person responsible. For example, I'm betting that the vast majority of those who caused the economic disaster that we're all trying to crawl out of are both married and college graduates. Anonymous Author Lady is a pathetic moron.
ReplyDeleteAs for the Tea Party mentality mentioned by a previous poster, it seems to me that most of their angst is caused by the fact that what they're really trying to cover up is racism. The programs they want to change/eliminate will disproportionately affect brown skinned people, but they can't come right out and admit it.
Mrs. Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI take it you consider yourself a “Christian” too? What is embarrassing is your ignorance, your arrogance and your complete disrespect of others. What gives you the right to say such things about somebody else? Your credentials of “married mother, college graduate and responsible person” hold no water. You could have a PhD in neuroscience for that matter and it would still not give you the right to speak your hateful rhetoric.
How can you state that MTV is exploiting this girl? They are telling the story of a young lady and young man who had sex and she became pregnant. There is nothing glamorous about it. They are exposing a social issue and in the process trying to educate people on this unfortunate upward trend. Take a look at the data. http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/USTPtrends.pdf
Sex is part of the human experience. It’s a wonderful and gratifying experience at that. But it can have a price to pay in unwanted pregnancies and STD’s. That is what MTV is trying to get across to their audience. I for one applaud them for it.
Let’s also be realistic about the cost to the taxpayer. This is nothing compared to the funding of two wars that have lasted longer than any other war this country has ever been in as well as the bailout of the financial system and other large corporations. The cost to the taxpayer for this pregnancy is about the cost of a cup of coffee when compared to these larger costs. That is the real tragedy.
Everything gets cut in order to make up the budget deficits; cuts in education, cuts in social programs and community programs. These are programs that are proven to work and decrease the incidents of teen pregnancy when they can be funded accordingly.
Lastly, thanks to Amanda posting your letter, your remarks will remain in the public domain for the rest of your natural life. I wonder what your kids will think about that when they get older? Did it ever occur to you that perhaps you will find yourself in this same situation when your kids are of that age? What will you have to say then?
If you are truly “sick and angry” over this social issue, try being part of the solution rather than a messenger of hateful rhetoric.
My name is Gregory Lee Spear. I play in the local band Rain Kings so now everybody knows who I am.
Mrs. Anonymous, who are you?
Interesting thoughts here, people. Keep them coming. I always love a good, healthy discussion. I'm surprised not to see the other side of the argument. Mrs. Married & Responsible may have phrased her beliefs in a harsh way, but they're certainly shared by others. Maybe they'll weigh in at some point, too.
ReplyDeleteAnd Future Skinny Redhead, you are right on. I know many married college graduates who have made MUCH bigger mistakes than this.
I work at South Central College and find teenage mothers to be some of my best students. Some of them (not all, but some) knock themselves out to be good parents, good students, and good members of the workplace. Let's give the SIXTEEN AND PREGNANT girl a chance (though I do wonder about MTV exploiting her--that's plausible).
ReplyDeletePeople are so cruel.
ReplyDeleteTeenage mothers deserve as much support from people as possible. Things happen. People make mistakes, but that doesn't mean that teenage mothers are bad people. They have just had to grow up faster than most as a result of something they have done.
I just watched the episode last night and was curious if there was anything on the net. I came to this blog which sparked my interest. I agree that writing an anonymous letter is quite cowardly, but I do see her side of things. I see both sides.
ReplyDeleteI feel for the girl, of course, having to go through all of the stress dealing with a pregnancy. I do not see her as a "loser knocked-up teenager," but do have a different set of values for my life. Sometimes, things happen and we can't change it.
As far as the woman who wrote the letter, I think she needs to humble herself a little more. People make mistakes and there's no reason to lash out in a letter against a high school student who is going through an unplanned pregnancy. Not saying the baby is a mistake, but was unplanned.
So what if MTV came and did the show. The girl wanted it. It's her decision. All of her is her decision. She seems to be getting by with it all and doing the best she can. So, the more support she has, the more successful she'll become.
So my words to the anonymous woman: Be careful what you say. You may not always agree with others, but that's just life. Being married, a mother and a college graduate doesn't always make you responsible. I know plenty of irresponsible people who fit into all those labels. Being responsible, to me, is being able to look at any situation with an open mind and heart and coming up with the best solution that fits YOUR morals and values. They may not match with another persons, but when you express those, you do it with a humble heart.
That's how I feel about responsibility and I'm still in college, not a mother and not married.
I just watched the episode of 16 and pregnant today. My daughter had taped it. I didn't realize it had been so long. My first thoughts were to see if there was any way I could help. I only wish I could have done something then and still would like to now. I know what it is like to have a baby and feel alone. Everyone makes mistakes and we need to rise above and make the best of things. As for the writer of the anonymous letter, it is not being married, a college graduate or a so called responsible person that makes any difference it is what we do in the face of our circumstances that bring us to our knees in fear. Rather than giving up we rise and face them, move forward through them and do our best. We all make mistakes and it is through supporting each other through them that will make the world survive. Condemnation has no place.
ReplyDeleteI just watched the episode of 16 & Pregnant. I didn't realize it was from so long ago. My daughter had taped it. My first thought was to see if there was anything I could do to help. I wish I could have been there to babysit or something. Things happen to all of us in this world and we need to be there to support each other. I know what it feels like to have a baby and feel alone. I think the show is meant to help teens understand the consequences decisions we make in life can bring. We all have made decisions that have made life tough for us. As far as the anonymous letter writer, being married, a college graduate and a responsible person label doesn't make any difference it is what you do in the face of circumstances that bring you to your knees in fear. It is moving forward and rising above the hard things life brings us. It is helping each other through things that will make the world survive. I agree that it is having an open mind and open heart that counts. A baby is a new and promising life and should not be labeled a bastard. Condemnation has no place. After all with the right encouragement and support who knows who may be the child who grows up to find the next cure for Cancer.
ReplyDelete