Knowing when to ask for help

I turned 30 three weeks ago. Dear God, did I ever turn 30. ... Didn't take it well. I remember a time not so long ago when the idea of growing old was so far into the future that it wasn't even worth thinking about. I don't feel that way anymore, and it's making me seriously examine where I'm at in life, sort of letting it sink in that every day is precious and I'd better start making good use of my remaining youth.

The first thing that always comes to mind for me when self-relection kicks in is losing weight. I've been a yo-yo dieter since the age of 12. That means for the past 18 years I've been mindful of every single thing I've put into my mouth. Every Hot Tomale has been met with guilt, every Christmas cookie met with self-punishment.

I've been successful many times in losing a bunch of weight. But I've always done it by cutting calories to an unhealthy degree. I've done the 500 calorie per day diet; the eat whatever you want one day, then starve yourself every other day diet; the low-carb diet; the liquids only for two weeks diet; SlimFast; calorie counting; low-fat; low-sugar; as-much-fruit-as-you-want; etc., etc. etc. I know about every berry, every miracle pill. But what I haven't known is how to lose weight in a healthy way that is also permanent -- the dreaded phrase that all candy and cookie lovers hate to hear: lifestyle change.

So as all of this is going through my mind around my birthday, I was editing the article about Monte Meyer for Mankato Magazine. He is an MSU pastor who was 600 pounds 18 months ago and has lost 240 pounds and counting through eating right and exercising. In the article he made the decision to get help. He started working with a personal trainer, which was a big financial commitment, but one that was well worth it, he said. He also noted that he used to spend a significant amount of money on take-out, anyway, so now that money is being channeled into the trainer.

This really made sense to me. I've always been the type of person who had the "Back off, I've got this" kind of attitude with every task or challenge. Very independent. But after 18 years of failure, it's time to admit I can't do this by myself.

Enter my personal trainer at the Y. I won't mention her name until she says it's OK, but I started meeting with her last week, and she is absolutely what I need. Our first true session isn't until Monday morning (1-9), but she's already holding me accountable and giving me goals and deadlines, all of which I need.

She took my measurements, and I had to get on the Iron Man scale, which is so cool and scary. By sending a signal through one foot that goes through your body and out the other foot, it tells you your weight, body fat percentage, bone density, metabolic age and the minimum number of calories you should be consuming. My numbers were scary, but none more than my metabolic age. I won't give you an exact number (in fact, you won't be getting many numbers out of me at all!) but it was higher than my chronological age, that's for sure.

I considered day 1 of my journey last Monday, Jan. 3. I set my goals, did my first weigh-in, and hit the gym.
My trainer says ...
I have to workout 5 hours per week. I have to limit calories and keep a food journal. I have to drink 10 glasses of water per day. And I will meet with my trainer an hour on Mondays and Thursdays for cardio and strength-training, with cardio on my own on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays (and weekends if I don't make it to 5 hours during the week). My "last-chance workout" was today for week 1. I'm going to weigh-in every Monday morning, so I made sure to put in a full hour today.

I realize more than anything that accountability is what I've been lacking until now. I feel like I have someone to answer to now if I have a bad day. And I thought I'd broaden that sense of accountability by blogging about my journey here. Even if two or three of you check in to see if I'm sticking with it, that's a great motivator for me to keep going. And who knows, maybe I'll inspire someone the way Monte did for me. If I've learned anything the past 18 years it's that people like me are looking for any kind of motivator or inspiration to start and stick with it. It might be as small as a pair of jeans we used to fit into, or a boyfriend we want to look good for, or someone else in similar shoes who shows us it's possible.

I'm not going to lie, this is HARD. I hate exercise, and I love CANDY. Bad combination. But with help, I honestly feel like I can change my habits over the next year.

So maybe I'll see you at the gym! I'll be the one with the purple Hannah Montana water bottle (inside joke) and a look on my face like I'm barely clinging to life.

Ms. Mankato about (pretty) volunteerism

Natalie Davis was crowned Miss Mankato on Saturday. One of the weird parts of that, for me, is that I actually had a hand in crowning her. Anyone who knows me is having one of those "really?" moments right now. I'm not a beauty queen. I'm plain spoken, plain dressed, plain everything! So at first, it was quite strange for me to be there as a judge. But I have to say, I was surprised by what I learned.

Many of those girls were passionate about volunteerism and charity. It's not a requirement that the contestants be from Mankato or even go to school here, so some were new to the community. Yet, they had taken the time to set up appointments with various non-profits and other organizations so they could talk about their platforms and spread the word about the causes they were passionate about.

Certainly there were swimsuits and perfect hair-dos and high heels and pretty gowns. It's a pageant, and as many girls said, Ms. America is a business and they need a face on that business that can attract positive attention. But it was also about community and charity, and I was glad to see that.

Davis certainly had the whole package. She's beautiful, and she sang the highest operatic notes I've ever heard -- in person, at least. And she was also passionate about autism awareness. Having a brother with Asperger's instilled in her a drive to raise awareness about the disorder, and she has been doing a great job of it for years. Any organization in Mankato who receives a visit from Davis will certainly learn a lot.

Here's a bit more from Davis' website:

Natalie Davis is the current Miss Mankato. As an aspiring Miss Minnesota and Miss America (and of course, as a loving big sister), Natalie is dedicated to increasing awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders in order to help her brother Trevor and others diagnosed with the disorder survive and thrive in today's society.

Natalie also works on behalf of the Miss America national platform, Children's Miracle Network (CMN), which raises money for children's hospitals across the nation. Gillette Children's Hospital, Minnesota's CMN hospital, is an happy place for kids to be during what could be a very tough hospital stay.

In addition to doing volunteer work, Natalie enjoys emceeing events, acting, modeling, and singing as both a soloist and as a member of the St. Olaf College Chapel Choir. She is looking forward to her third year at St. Olaf College, where she is majoring in Chemistry with concentrations in Education and Biomedical Studies.

Country is just pop in a cowboy hat

I'm not sure what the allure was, but I found myself tuning into the CMAs (in the background, anyway, while catching up on some reading) to watch Gwyneth Paltrow sing. I'm not even that big of a fan of Gwyneth. I think she's a good actress, but I don't follow her work. Yet, still, something about a movie star adding another "threat" to her resume had me interested.

I'm not a fan of country music, at least not contemporary country. I like Willie and Waylon and many other old-school country artists because what they sang, and the way they sang, was simply what came out of them. I have a hard time finding contemporary country artists that can say such a thing. Like pop music, it's a formulaic sound, with equal parts twang, porch stories and guitars.

Loretta Lynn was honored at the CMA's, and she seemed to exemplify the chasm between true roots country music and those of today. She grew up in a shack in Butcher Hollow, Kentucky, learning to sing at church and reflecting that meager upbringing in every song she wrote. Even with her millions of dollars, she still could fit in easily in her old Kentucky neighborhood. She even had a replica of the shack she grew up in built on her land so she could go and sit and remember the good times of her youth, even though the family didn't have much. Marrying at age 13 or 14 to a man named Doo, much of her experiences learning to be a wife and mother are reflected in her songs. She says the majority of her songs are about her husband and their life together.

Her plain way of speaking, cutting right to the heart of things, is country music. The twang to her music isn't manufactured to make a song sound country. That's just the way she sounds. Loretta Lynn is country.

I don't have anything against some of the country artists honored at the CMAs Wednesday night. I've actually interviewed a few of them, including the big winner of the night, Miranda Lambert. She seems like a down-to-earth girl with a nice voice, and she seems truly humbled to have become such a success in the industry. Brad Paisley had his assistant call the newsroom at The Free Press to find out how to contact the winner of an essay contest we held: "Tell us how Brad Paisley's music has affected you personally, and you could win two tickets to the show." He wanted to invite the winner backstage to meet him. He also does a lot of great work for charity.

The Rascal Flatts are another story. I dislike their music, anyway, but I was talking to one of them on the phone in advance of their show at the civic center, and I said, "I really like that song Bless the Broken Road. I heard a great version by Melodie Crittenden a couple of years ago and loved it." And I'll never forget this ... He said, "No, that's our song. You couldn't have heard it before. That's our song." And I said, "Um, no, it's Marcus Hummon's song and a few people recorded it after him. You're just the latest to have done so." So then he said, "Hey Jay. That Broken Road song? That's our song, right?" And Jay yelled, "I dunno." ... So, needless to say, it doesn't seem as if the Rascal Flatts' music "simply comes out of them," considering they don't even know what music is theirs.

Anyhow, I guess my point is that with pop music, there's an understanding -- an accepted understanding -- that it's a business, a commodity. Katy Perry knows damn well "Teenage Dream" wasn't written because it speaks to her soul. It was written and recorded because it's a hit and it would sell records. She's fine with that. She's said that very thing. But there isn't that acknowledgment with a lot of these country artists, like the Flatts.

The music's formulaic, the twang is often manufactured, and many of the stories aren't reflections of their own experience (see Reba's "If I Were a Boy" cover during Wednesday's show). Contemporary country music is just pop wearing a cowboy hat.

Latest jerk crowned in 'Runway' family

I was thinking back to previous seasons of "Project Runway." I remember being disappointed when Uli lost to Jeffrey Sebelia in season 3. Or in season 6, when the mean Irina won over the super nice Carol Hannah. In those cases, however, I didn't question the winner's talent. They might have been jerks (a friend pointed out that 5 out of the 7 winners in past seasons have been mean or snobby to other contestants), but they had talent to back it up.

Last night I was disappointed for two reasons: One, Gretchen is a jerk (making it 6 jerks out of 8 winning designers). And two, her clothes are awful. When I see her Native American-inspired fabrics and jewelry, I get a flash to the wallpaper in my living room when I was a kid. My mom went through a Native American phase, and all the fabrics, wall art and accessories reflected the theme.

Where's the taste level? Why would they have gone for the showman/woman in every other season -- forgoing wearability for art -- and suddenly switch to matronly clothes attractive to shoppers at the Dress Barn? Is it a retro thing? Is '70s bargain fashion making a comeback? Is this a new fad I don't know about? Commune Chic?

Mondo at least had the arty element. I can't picture anyone wearing that much print, at least not in southern Minnesota, but he put on a visually interesting show. It had a lot of drama, it was constructed well, and his patterns -- despite being quite loud -- worked well together. Of the three, he was the clear winner.

Andy was the throwaway. There's always one designer you know has no chance. That was Andy. Grey and green jumpers just kept bouncing down the runway. Ho-hum.

I am disappointed, but I was thinking that there wasn't a designer in the bunch I was really passionate about. Nobody stood out to me. So, I guess if they're going to pick Gretchen, this is a good season to do it in -- when there's no one else who's so very much better that it illicits complete outrage. I'm not outraged. I'm just grossed out by her icky clothes, and I'm hoping I don't start seeing brown Navajo-inspired blouses everywhere.

"Runway," I'm quite sad I waited 13 weeks for THIS. You stink.

Skinny Marie Claire writer bullies 'fatties'

In my last post I suggested I should be crowned Queen of the Insenitive for my comments on a blubbering Michael C. on "Runway." Well, folks, Maura Kelly of Marie Claire has stolen my crown.

In an epically rude, mean-spirited and shallow blog post, she posed the question, "Think people feel uncomfortable when they see overweight people making out on television?"

If asking wasn't bad enough. She went on to answer her question.

“I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything,” she writes. “To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room.”

Backlash to Marie Claire was brutal. And warranted.

Read all about it here.

Blubbering does not a respected designer make

OK ... prepare to crown me Queen of the Insensitive ... that meltdown by Michael C. was just beyond. As much as I did not understand -- AT ALL -- the judges kind comments about Gretchen's hippie rags, there's a point when there's a camera in your face and you've just got to man up. America is watching, and snotting and blubbering all over your fellow designers is not going to make celebrities watching say, "I want to wear HIS clothes!" It's going to make them say, "Jeez, what a child."

Having said that, when did "pretty" go out the window? Michael C.'s clothes are pretty. They're so pretty. And I could practically hear a collective sigh in my neighborhood of all the women who saw his 11th garment and thought, "I would love to look that beautiful." Yet, to the judges, it's not enough. Heaven forbid he uses the same color pallet to design his collection. That somehow makes him simpleminded, despite the fact that his models all looked stunning.

Then there's Gretchen, who's models looked like they live in a commune. I believe it was Nina who said all they needed was a pair of Birkenstocks. Yet, she gets through. She ALWAYS goes through. Her colors are muted and earthy. Her silhouettes are matronly and sackish. Somebody please explain to me how that is cutting-edge fashion. SOMEBODY!

Mondo ... don't really need to discuss. We all knew he'd go through. He's worthy. I'm looking forward to his show.

Andy was another I thought might get kicked off tonight. His silver bikini made absolutely no sense to me. Past seasons have show they should have sent down the following: an evening, a day cocktail, separates with pants. Mondo did this. Michael C. did this (his mistake, apparently, was making them all brown). But neither Gretchen nor Andy did this. I thought Andy would be the one to get auf'd for this, although I secretly hoped it would be Gretchen. Apparently, the judges want to see more metallic jumpers from Andy.

Sigh. Sigh, I say! If only these judges would call me before they make such crazy decisions. It would save us all a little frustration.

; )

Finales next week!

Mankato Mag wants your holiday recipes

Hi all! We want to publish reader-submitted holiday recipes in the December issue of Mankato Magazine. E-mail me the recipes for dishes or desserts that your family loves during the winter holidays. Also, write a brief explanation of why the recipe is important to your family. Send e-mails to adyslin@mankatofreepress.com or mail to: Amanda Dyslin, 418 S. Second St., Mankato, MN 56001.

Thanks!