Katotainment

West girl explodes on web after 'American Idol' performance

2012-01-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

Before Wednesday night, a google search of Shelby Tweten didn't turn up much. A couple of pictures, a private Facebook site, her Twitter account and a mention of her on "American Idol" fan sites and blog entries.

Google her right now. Go ahead. I'll wait.

She has EXPLODED. Mtv.com has a graph on her in their "Idol" roundup. Newsday.com's "Idol" blog writer Jamshid Mousavinezhad even said Tweten was her favorite of the season under this headline: Bipolar Shelby Tweten is 'fearless' and fantastic on 'American Idol.'

From PopCrush: 'American Idol' Aspen Auditions Recap: Shelby Tweten, Jenni Schick Win Our Hearts

Hollywood Life: 'American Idol' Recap: Bipolar Teen Wants To Be Known For More Than Disorder

It's clear that Shelby made an impression on America on Wednesday's show, and she certainly made an impression on the judges. Read all about her performance here.

Tweten could be on 'American Idol' tonight!

2012-01-25T12:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight could very well be the night we see Mankato West High School student Shelby Tweten on "American Idol."

Tweten was said to have auditioned for the show in Colorado, and tonight's episode features Colorado auditions. Now, not all singers who get through to Hollywood get much air time. Some are just glimpses, and heck, with so many good singers, it's possible some don't get much airtime at all.

However, if you see a post below, you'll see that various fan sites and blogs have leaked the Top 42 contestants list, and Shelby is on it. Some are even saying that the judges are really, really liking Shelby. So perhaps that hints at us getting to hear her sing tonight.

I wonder what crazy things Steven Tyler will say about her? Exciting! Tune it at 7 p.m. on Fox. Or see tomorrow's Free Press for what happened.

'A.I.' blogs: West student in top 42 on 'American Idol'

2012-01-20T15:16:00.000-08:00

So hard to keep secrets now that the Internet spreads rumors so very quickly these days ...

"American Idol" blogs and fan sites have leaked the top 42 contestants list, and guess what? Mankato's Shelby Tweten is on it. One site even said the judges are totally geeking out over her.

Where do they get this info? Who knows. Maybe a contestant that got voted off. Maybe someone who works on the show. Who knows? But if it's true, we could have a star in the making right here at West High School.

An anonymous source even said "American Idol" had made an inquiry about shooting footage in Mankato. How exciting!

Tweten is involved in Orchesis at West and she sings the national anthem at area events, including MoonDogs games. She's quite a talented young lady.

"American Idol" kicked off its new season Wednesday with Georgia auditions. Tweten audition in Colorado. No word on when those auditions will be aired, but be sure and tune in to cheer her on!

Mea culpa to my runner friends

2012-01-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

I should start this post with an apology to my runner pals who, throughout 2011, offered to train with me for a race. Any race. Even just a 5K or something. And I wrote a blog entry that was all, "I don't want to run, so back off."

Part of it was laziness. It's hard to run. I've never enjoyed it. And part of it was that people who run tend to get fairly obsessed with it. Every status update on Facebook is "Ran seven miles today (insert pat on the back here)." And I'm thinking, "Is there nothing else you have to update us on? I swear, I will hide you in my news feed!" (And wouldn't that just be tragic for them.)

But then I got to thinking, these people are obsessed for a reason. Clearly, there's something more enjoyable about this form of exercise than many other forms. Because I tell ya, nothing makes me want to update my status with the number of strides I did on the elliptical that morning. Mostly I just want to forget it ever happened and move on with my day.

So, with an apology to those who I brutally rebuffed in the past, I think I'm going to give it a whirl. I'd like to push it the next couple of months to take off the last chunk of poundage I need to lose so that by spring/early summer I'll be ready to do some sort of couch to 5K program.

No marathons, folks. No half marathons. I'm not in this to go crazy and push my body to its physical limits. There's absolutely nothing in that that sounds even mildly appealing. I just want to see what being a runner is all about and see if it would make working out every day more fun.

I'm not starting now. As much as I love the Y, and I certainly do, I can't imagine running laps around the track. It's way too reminiscent of sixth grade gym class, except without the cute boy butts to watch as I'm circling the track for the umpteenth time. (Relax. I was in sixth grade at the time, so it was OK back then to enjoy looking at sixth-grade booties.)

Anyway, it's something to work toward. We'll see how it goes. If I start updating my status every day with how many miles ... ok, yards ... I ran that day, though, feel free to hide me. That's just the worst.

Globes put fun back into Awards Season

2012-01-16T13:56:00.001-08:00

I had the girls over to watch the Golden Globes last night, which, when you add in wine and cupcakes and boy troubles, means I couldn't focus as much as I would have liked on the actual awards. But what I did see gave me hope that maybe the Critics Choice Awards was an isolated dud and there's hope yet.

Ricky Gervais was pretty darn funny as host. The trouble was that we were all expecting to be shocked, so then, of course, you aren't. He gave a few good barbs, and there was a funny moment in there when he accused Johnny Depp of being on recreational drugs and then in the next breath told him "The Tourist" sucked ... again. But all in all, he was a bit toned down compared to last year.

As for the awards themselves, some front runners are starting to emerge. Clooney took best actor in a drama again. Octavia Spencer and Christopher Plummer seem to be gearing up for a sweep with their best supporting wins.

A new winner was best drama went to "The Descendants." So it'll likely be that and "The Artist" battling it out for the Oscar. Meryl bested Viola Davis for best actress. So the two of them will likely vie for the Oscar in this category. Although Michelle Williams took best actress in a comedy, so with the Oscars not having that distinction between comedy and drama, it might be a close race between the three of them.

Best Director seems to be a real crap shoot. Scorsese took it last night for "Hugo," but that seemed like a really odd choice. "The Artist" director took the Critics Choice Award. But history has shown that whichever movie takes Best Picture tends to also get best director. So who knows, really. No combination seems particularly strong yet.

It's kind of a strange year. We'll see how it all pans out. But now onto the most important aspect of the Globes ... best and worst dressed. : )

My top 3: Kate Winslet, Sophia Vergara, Angelina Jolie
Worst 3: Lia Michele, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Julianna Margulies

To see a slideshow of dresses, click here.

A blog in limbo, and an awards season, too

2012-01-13T13:03:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I am no longer the entertainment gal at The Free Press or Mankato Mag. I'm immersed in news once again. It's been a detoxifying experience having a much simpler job description. It's my job to write stories. That's what I do. Before, my job duties were lists long every day, coordinating the myriad details and schedules of a number of people who looked to me for answers. Bottom line: I ran out of steam being in charge, and I missed being creative. So I'm enjoying my new lot.

However, I've received a number of inquires on what will happen to Katotainment. "Tainment" is no longer part of my job description, so what business do I have writing an entertainment blog? I'm just not sure on that, so I find myself in limbo. Blogs are personality based, and in my free time, entertainment in varying forms is a big part of my life. So if a blog is meant to represent a person's own interests, then Katotainment is appropriate. If it's supposed to represent my job here at the Freep, well, I guess I'd better conjure up some sort of educational blog instead. I'm just really not sure.

In the meantime, though, Katotainment will stay up, and while we're on the subject of entertainment, I really just have to talk with you for a moment about the kickoff to movie Awards Season -- Thursday night's Critics Choice Awards ...

I generally really enjoy the CCA. Whereas the Oscars are buttoned-up and formal, the CCAs are super casual. Generally, you get to see stars laugh and mingle and it's all very casual and fun. Thursday night, I started to fear for this year's awards season. The whole thing was just ... a mess.

Hosts Rob Huebel and Paul Scheer (don't know them well or like them much? Join the club) were off. Their jokes didn't land, and they didn't command the room the way a host needs to. The band that played for LENGTHS of time throughout the evening seemed like a strange choice. Hipsters singing oldies and not very well. And the awards themselves were kind of a grab bag. No movies jumped out as clear frontrunners this year, although it's clear Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer of "The Help" will quickly become the darlings of awards season.

I was glad to see Clooney get a nod as best actor for "The Descendants." His speeches are always good, and lordly-lord, he's still got that twinkle in his eyes, ladies.

Also, "The Artist" won for best director and best picture. But I'm just not that confident it will continue to sweep.

All in all, instead of igniting my Awards Season furnace last night, I was left cold. I'm hoping the Golden Globes Sunday night will turn things around. If anybody can do it, Ricky Gervais can. Here's hopin'!

Here's a complete list of this year's Critics Choice winners:

Best Picture: The Artist
Best Actor: George Clooney, The Descendants
Best Actress: Viola Davis, The Help
Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Best Young Actor/Actress: Thomas Horn, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Best Acting Ensemble: The Help
Best Director: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Best Original Screenplay: Midnight in Paris, Woody Allen
Best Adapted Screenplay: Moneyball, Aaron Sorkin, Steve Zaillian and Stan Chervin (based on the book by Michael Lewis)
Best Cinematography: (tie) The Tree of Life and War Horse
Best Art Direction: Hugo
Best Editing: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Best Costume Design: The Artist
Best Makeup: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Best Visual Effects: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Best Sound: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Best Animated Feature: Rango
Best Action Movie: Drive
Best Comedy: Bridesmaids
Best Foreign Language Film: A Separation
Best Documentary Feature: George Harrison: Living in the Material World
Best Song: "Life's a Happy Song," Brett McKenzie, The Muppets
Best Score: The Artist
Joel Siegel Award: Sean Penn
Music + Film Award: Martin Scorsese

The "Fight to be Fit" results are in!

2011-12-31T06:10:00.000-08:00

The verdict is in, folks! I'm declaring this fight a victory, despite the old Iron Man scale delivering one last kidney punch with a metabolic age reading that made me want to throw it through the window. (But then, it wouldn't be the Iron Man if it didn't elicit cuss words and seething rage.)

Without further ado (you have waited a whole year for this, after all), here are my year-end physique numbers ...

Total pounds lost: 74

Total inches lost (this was my favorite!): 48.25 inches!!!

Visceral Fat Reading: 8 (1-14 is the healthy range, so this was excellent news in terms of cardiovascular health, diabetes and the risk of certain cancers)

Metabolic age: 50 ...

As you may recall, one year ago my metabolic age was 50. Five months after that, it had gone down to 42. And now, 74 pounds lighter, it says I'm 50 again. Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you, Iron Man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, there are my stats, folks.

I'm pretty darn pleased, going into the New Year, with this new lease on life. And I fully plan to keep it going and lose even more. The post below outlines my gratitude for those folks who played a huge part in my success this year, and it also lays out my somewhat humorous plans for the future. : ) Happy New Year!

Yesterday, TODAY! and the next chapter

2011-12-31T06:02:00.000-08:00

New Year's is a time of reflection. Despite all the goal-setting going on for the future, it's only natural to look back at the previous year and assess.

I lived out 2011 quite publicly, and as many of you will recall, it had its share of ups and downs as I battled weight loss in my "fight to be fit" for Free Press readers.

Just to recap: The first half of the year, I lost 50 pounds with the help of a personal trainer. Then I took the entire summer off, which basically meant I hit the junk food, stayed away from the gym and kept myself out of the public eye for a while. With my retreat into Sugar Town came a gain of 12 pounds back. (Can you imagine realizing eight months into your public weight-loss battle that you are only down 38 pounds? Devastating.)

At the end of September, I came to my senses. I remembered all of the things my trainer Jackie Vroman taught me, and I got to work, vowing that this time the words "lifestyle change" would stick.

Well, it's the last week of December now, three months after my reawakening, and I'm happy to report that this time I feel like I've won the fight.

In 2011, I lost 74 pounds and 48.25 total inches from my body. And, folks, they're staying off.

The journey

As I look back on this year, two major players stand out in my fitness journey: the Y, the facility where I lost the weight, and Jackie, whom I think of every single time I put on a cute outfit that I could never fit into before now.

I first asked John Kind, the CEO of the Y, to lunch in early December. I told him how grateful I was to the Y and his staff for helping me whenever I needed it this year and for answering all of my questions. I told him how much Jackie (a former trainer for the Y) had been a part of my success.

And I asked him what he thought it was about the Y that seemed to result in so many success stories. As you walk the halls, the stories of members are even framed on the walls.

"It's not uncommon to get an email every couple of weeks (that says) the Y changed my life," he said. "I think it's because you're not doing it alone."

The Y fosters a sense of community, he said. Families come together. Sitting areas are often full of people pre- and post-workout hanging out to socialize. Classes, many of them free, encourage a group fitness mentality, which makes people feel accountable.

All of this hit home for me, but he could have been speaking about me directly when he said this: Most people who come to the Y are "Health Seekers." They're not athletes. They're regular people who want to try and live a healthier life. At first, they're intimidated to work out in the Life Center, thinking only people in shape will be there, judging those who aren't. But then they become acquainted with the Y and realize that people of all fitness levels fit in.

I couldn't have summed up any better the reasons I found my success at the Y this year. For numerous reasons, memberships to gyms in the past didn't work out. The difference now is that I WANT to go to the Y, and I will continue wanting to go there because the experience is about much more than exercise.

"You've got to be inspired," John said.

Most cathartic of all was sitting down for coffee with Jackie before she left for a volunteer trip to an orphanage in Romania over Christmas. I was able to give her a big hug and remind her again how much she changed my life. And I was able to hear the words that mean more coming from her -- the person who stood next to me when I stepped on that scale a year ago, when we learned my starting weight -- than anyone else: "You look amazing."

The next chapter

So what's next? Staying the course is No. 1 on the agenda. I'm in a place now where I'm happy with how I feel, how I look, how my clothes fit, and my physical capabilities at the gym. So No. 1 with a bullet is keeping it that way.

Do I have more to lose? Yep. There are always those last begrudging pounds. But I'm not too worried about that. The last ones take the longest, so I'm not setting goals with deadlines. I'll just keep on keeping on with my new lifestyle, and eventually it'll come off.

But I don't feel like this is enough. Last year at exactly this time, this is what I wrote to all of you:

I turned 30 three weeks ago. Dear God, did I ever turn 30. ... Didn't take it well. I remember a time not so long ago when the idea of growing old was so far into the future that it wasn't even worth thinking about. I don't feel that way anymore, and it's making me seriously examine where I'm at in life, sort of letting it sink in that every day is precious and I'd better start making good use of my remaining youth.

Well folks, two weeks ago, I turned 31. Feels a lot like 30, so I'm not taking it too badly this year. But the rest of that statement is still true. Still feeling like my youth is precious, and that it's time to grasp it and keep tackling new challenges.

I can honestly say now that my first challenge is successfully tackled: I battled my weight, and I won.
So this got me thinking about what other challenges I could take on. When I return from vacation Tuesday I'll be the reporter in charge of education, which is new for me. And I started thinking, "In honor of my new beat, and in honor of having learned something new last year -- how to live healthy -- how about I make it my life's plan to learn something new every year?"

Sounds good to me, and it sounds like something that could equate to pretty funny blog entries, just like my "fight to be fit" last year.

So here it is, folks: In 2012 ... I'm going to learn ... to dance. A girl with no rhythm will soon be queen of da clubs.
At 31, I'm about a decade too old for Red Rocks at 1 a.m. (which also happens to be three hours past my bed time). But perhaps there are dance classes I can take at civilized hours in Mankato and then take my new moves to the Twin Cities club scene. Ow!

Ballroom sounds most appealing. A nice classy waltz, and when I'm feeling feisty, salsa, baby. But the tiger in me wants to go a little crazier. ... So I'm considering hip-hop, which is the absolute furthest from my comfort zone.
Do you have any idea how my attempt at the moonwalk would end? I do: a broken leg and a really funny column. (Are people still moonwalking?) I'll keep you posted.

Amanda's Health Tips
People on their own quests for fitness always ask me the same things: What are your secrets? How did you do it? Do you have any tips?

While I still very much maintain that weight-loss is a total mental game -- that we all have the information; it's just a matter of applying it -- I do have several tips that I employ almost every day that have been life changing for me.
Here they are:

1. Start an account at myfitnesspal.com. It's a free website where you log your fitness goals, as well as daily exercise and calories. The site keeps track of how much you should be eating and helps you realize how much you actually are eating. I log in several times per day, and I even have the app on my Smart phone.

2. Log in to Myfitnesspal BEFORE you go to the gym with the number of minutes you plan to exercise. You'd be amazed the effect of knowing you pledged to do 60 minutes on the elliptical. When you want to quit at the 45-minute mark, your recorded goal will be enough of a push to keep you on 15 minutes longer.

3. Whatever time of day you feel the most "snacky," distract yourself with something else. I'm a night eater, so every night that I'm home and watching TV, I put my pajamas on and watch the TV in my bedroom. Putting myself into the jammies is a mind trick that gets me thinking about bed time instead of snack time. By going upstairs, it takes me away from the kitchen.

4. Count calories or points. There are a million diets out there from low-carb to low-fat. But in the end, it's about calories in and calories out. If you do not have a calorie deficit, you will not lose weight. Find out how many calories you need to be eating to maintain your current weight -- based on your height, weight and activity level -- and then make sure, at the end of each day, you have consumed less than that amount. (Google BMR calculator.)

5. This tip isn't for everyone, but for me personally, I do not enter exercise into the equation of how many calories I can consume each day. I often hear people say, "I exercised today, so I can eat more than I normally would," or, "I exercised, so my metabolism is faster, and I can eat more." The average person burns 300 calories at the gym, and that amount can be made up in one bag of chips.

6. Leave it all at the gym. If you're leisurely strolling on the treadmill and reading the paper, you're not getting a good burn. Your heart rate needs to be elevated, you should be sweating and you should feel at least a little uncomfortable. I like to push myself the hardest toward the end of my workout when my muscles are warmed up. It helps me to have a song that I play at the end of every workout: No Doubt's "Sunday Morning." It's sort of become a little personal mantra.

Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks so much for reading this year!

The "Fight to be Fit" countdown is on

2011-12-16T08:42:00.000-08:00

The countdown is on, folks. Today, the morning of Dec. 16, I have lost 68 pounds. But I have 11 days left before I have to report my final number to the copy desk here at The Free Press, so that my year-end story for my "Fight to be Fit" can run in the Jan. 2 paper. (You'll have to look for it. The Health & Fitness page runs inside one of the two sections; not on the cover.) The C section works in advance, which is why I can't wait until New Year's Day to report my final weight-loss number.

However! You, folks -- my most dedicated and vocal supporters of my "Fight," my BLOG READERS!!! -- you will get the most up-to-date numbers. You'll get the actual Jan. 1 report, including the weight-loss total, total percentage of fat loss, loss of inches, metabolic age and more. It will all be so very exciting, I'm sure, and you can read all about it right here on New Year's Day.

I'll also post the pictures that will run in the newspaper, including before and after shots, and a funny picture of me in my old "fat pants."

So, for the newspaper, I have 11 days left to kick some butt at the gym and hopefully lose another four or five pounds, which would bring me to a respectable 72 or 73-pound loss to report. Here on the blog, I've still got a whopping 16 days to get 'er done. So who knows, maybe I'll be able to claim a 75-pound loss to you by New Year's Day.

I better get busy! Thanks for reading!

Awards Season is almost upon us!

2011-12-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

Today is the day!!!

This is absolutely my favorite time of year, for so very many reasons. For one, I love Christmas. For two, my birthday is Sunday. Hurray! And for three, the nominations start coming out for my second-favorite time of year ... AWARDS SEASON!

Thursday, bright and early, the nominations for the Golden Globe Awards were announced live on TV.

The list is usually my reference guide for the movies I absolutely have to see before Oscar night in March, although I try to have a good portion of the list accomplished by the end of January, when the Awards Season kicks off with the Screen Actors Guild awards and the Critics' Choice, and of course the dumb ol' People's Choice (where movies like "Twilight" actually have a shot at winning things -- ho-hum).

So, folks, I'm excited to announce that these are a few of the movies to look for this season (best picture-drama candidates): "The Descendants," "The Help," "Hugo," "The Ides of March," "Moneyball" and "War Horse."

Funny enough, I've actually seen half of these: "The Help," "The Ides of March" and "Moneyball." And frankly, I'm a little bit surprised how mainstream this list is. Usually there are titles I haven't even heard of.

Could this be the year of the award-winning blockbusters instead of the indie darlings?

For you indie lovers, some acting and writing award nominations were included for movies like "Albert Nobbs" (Glenn Close for best actress-drama); "Iron Lady" (Meryl Streep for best actress-drama); "We Need to Talk About Kevin" (Tilda Swinton for best actress-drama); and "Shame" (Michael Fassbender for best actor-drama).

Other indies up for nods that I am looking forward to seeing include "The Artist" and "My Week With Marilyn." I hate to call it early, folks, but I'm thinking this Awards Season is going to be quite kind to Michelle Williams who plays Marilyn Monroe. Best Actress Oscar? It's quite possible.

Killer Beth: the perfect after-Thanksgiving Step instructor

2011-11-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

It was fight or flight time at approximately 8:35 a.m. today when I walked into the aerobics studio at the Y. I had seen her in the life center during the past year, killing it on the elliptical like someone cross-country skiing away from a polar bear. But I hadn't seen her in this setting for five years.

Killer Beth.

Years ago, the first Step aerobics class I ever took at the Y was at 5:30 p.m., and it was so hard, I had to leave halfway through. I asked someone the next day if Step classes are always so vigorous, and the woman asked me which class I had attended. When I told her the time, she said, "Oh no, honey. That's Killer Beth. You have to work up to her."

Never were truer words spoken. During the past week, I have been incorporating Step classes back into my routine, proud of myself for jumping right in with the risers and being able to finish the morning classes without water breaks. But I was not ready for Beth. Many of us weren't. A few people left. We were all taking water breaks. It's amazing how different that class can be with each instructor, considering it's the same equipment and the same basic movements. But Beth uses a faster tempo CD, so every movement is a half step faster. She's a fan of double and triple movements, which ups the ante again. And when class begins, it's work time. No messing around getting warmed up with easy movements at first. She's all in. All bidness. And yet, from start to finish, she has the sunniest demeanor, kindest voice, never out of breath.

The woman is like a beautiful machine.

And I was like a dumptruck stuck in neutral, grinding gears to try and lunge forward ... then backward ... then forward.

It's as if she knew what we all had eaten yesterday. She saw the words "pumpkin cheesecake" written on my forehead, and she responded accordingly with lunges. So many lunges.

It was agony, and it was exactly what I needed. So at the end of class, I asked Beth if she still teaches regularly. She does, at 5:40 p.m. on Thursdays. So I told her, "Well, I better start coming because that about killed me."

And fittingly, as I gingerly lowered myself into my car, glasses fogging up from my hot, red face, the song "You Must Be Out of Your Mind" was playing on the radio as I turned on the car.

Yep.

My two-part Thanksgiving plan: the Y and FOOD

2011-11-21T08:09:00.000-08:00

Last week I went to South Central College to talk to a weight-loss support group, which was really fun. It's always cathartic to commiserate with folks going through the same junk you are. (And incidentally, I've lost 61 pounds at this point, and they gave me a round of applause, which absolutely warmed my heart.) But at the end of the session, a woman asked me how I planned to handle Thanksgiving. Until that moment, I hadn't given it much thought, and so like I do with everything else in life, I just said what came to mind: "I plan to eat a lot," I think I said.

Of course, I qualified the statement by saying, "There are times when it's OK to indulge. The trick for me is just to make sure that I get right back on track the next day."

From her expression, I don't think it was what she wanted to hear. And I can understand why. For many of us -- including me in the past -- a bad day tends to lead to several more, and before you know it, you're back to your old bargaining practices: I'll do better starting Sunday ... I'll just eat what I want the rest of this month, since there's only a few days left, and I'll start fresh on the 1st ... etc. So a day like Thanksgiving can trigger those behaviors, especially when you tend to have copious leftovers for days.

So all of this led to me carving out a plan for this week. The two-fold plan involves the Reebok Step classes at the Y, and food consumption on Thanksgiving. Part one was Step, which began today ...

I've been doing an hour on the elliptical in the life center with relative ease lately. It sucks that your body gets used to certain kinds of exercise, especially exercise that you actually enjoy (somewhat). And I knew that was what was happening, because I'd find myself looking down at the clock on the elliptical and seeing that 30 minutes had gone by without me wanting to kill myself. It's important that you experience a certain level of discomfort while working out, otherwise you're not getting a very good burn.

That led me back to Step class this morning to up the ante on my workouts, give my metabolism a boost, and burn more and lose a bit more before Thanksgiving -- sort of a preemptive calorie deficit before Turkey Day. ... I walked in, and I was so excited to see Lynette leading the class. Years ago, and several pants sizes ago, she was the one who whipped my butt into shape. She has a way of making me love her for the first 20 minutes and not-love-her-so-much during the last 20, which to me, is exactly what a good workout experience should be like.

By the end of the 40 minutes today, I was red in the face, sweating profusely, and rubbing my quads for comfort. I did that drunken sort of walk to the car, sort of meandering and disoriented. "Do I drive a blue car? I think it's blue. Maybe I'll just wander this way and I'll run into it." Now THAT'S a good workout.

I plan to get three good workouts like that in before Turkey Day on Thursday, when the second part of my plan will come into play. And here it is, folks: I plan to eat a lot. ... I know, I know. It doesn't sound healthy. But folks, sometimes food DOES equal enjoyment. Some events ARE planned around food. We associate certain memories from our past with grandma's Christmas Eve casserole and mom's famous pumpkin cheesecake. I would hate to look back on Thanksgiving with my family and remember that I weighed the ounces of turkey before I put it on my plate, and I passed on the gravy, and I asked mom to go easy on the butter in the mashed potatoes, and I skipped dessert. For some of you, that might be what you need to make your fitness goals work, and that's totally fine. But for me, I plan to enjoy myself with food on Thanksgiving.

And then the very next morning, I'll be in the upstairs studio in the Y getting my butt kicked.

'Runway' finale: I guess I got what I wanted

2011-10-31T14:35:00.000-07:00

In one of the most boring "Project Runway" finales in history, the best way for me to sum things up is to say, "I got what I wished for," and as we all know, that's not always a good thing.

I had been rooting for Anya from day one. Who wasn't? A gorgeous, exotic, sweet young woman with four years of sewing experience. You can't write a better underdog story. And yet, she kept performing better than some of these other designers who constantly knocked her about construction. I was so happy to see all season that the judges, for the most part, were more concerned about her incredible design skills than her ability to fully execute them with a needle and thread. As an aside, here, I find it very hard to believe that somebody like Michael Kors would sew ANYTHING these days. My bet is that designers have plenty of seamstresses to execute their ideas. So perhaps Anya isn't as much behind the curve as bitchy Josh would like to think.

Did I think Anya should have won, however? No. No, I did not. The collection was not her best work. Not one piece had construction work. It was the same note of flowy beach wear the whole way through. Beautiful stuff! Don't get me wrong. But not worthy of being crowned the champ.

I was actually pretty horrified when I saw how much the judges loved Josh's stuff. It scared me to death when he was left standing on the runway beside Anya, that there was a chance for him to take the win. Can you imagine? Josh being crowned the winner of "Project Runway"? It's enough to make a girl swear she'll never watch again ... although, I'm sure I've said that before.

Viktor, who I was sure was the clear front-runner, choked when it counted most. He had a lovely collection of print garments that were inventive and chic. And he had a cheap collection of black translucent hooker get-ups. Who needs to be a better editor now, Viktor?

All in all, I simply can't say there was anything very dazzling about the final runway show. Nobody wow'd me to any extent. But they strategically showed previews for the next season of "Runway," something they've never done before ... All-Stars, baby. How fun will it be to see all our old favorites and foes come back to dook it out yet again? Love it. I'm in.

17 is not a good number for some of you!

2011-10-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way out of town for the weekend, but I had to pop in briefly to say, "Don't worry!" I've gotten a bunch of concerned folks coming forward saying something to the effect of: "Losing 17 pounds in less than a month isn't healthy!" Trust me, I'm not doing anything unhealthy. Remember, when your diet has consisted of high sodium and fat and sugar, you retain lots of water. I'm betting half of the weight I re-lost this month is water. So to borrow the words I say to my dog, Squishy, when she gets too worked up, "Heyyyy, heyyyy ...shhhhh. It's OK. Settle down." ; )

Some of you were also quick to email in response to my "Ang" anecdote, to counteract the negativity with positivity, as one reader said. You guys are awesome. Thank you.

I'll have a post Monday about last night's "Runway" finale, too. But all I have time for right now is a quick "Woo hoo!" for the surprise Anya win. Love it.

Be back soon! And thanks for all your messages!

Back in the game

2011-10-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

I kept a folded-up piece of paper in a hidden compartment of my makeup bag while I was working with my trainer this year. She thought it would be a good incentive for me to write down my weight-loss goals, tied to completion dates, with rewards for reaching each milestone.

So I had outlined exactly where I wanted to be by the first of each month, and my prizes were things like a new mp3 player for the gym and a new pair of jeans because, as I wrote, “my old ones won’t fit anymore by the time July 1 rolls around!”

I found that list the other day. (I had forgotten all about it because I had pretty much taken the entire summer off from dieting and exercise.) I looked all the way to the bottom, at where I was supposed to be by now, the end of October.

“Goal weight! Now, the hard part: Maintenance,” I had written in mid-January, all bright-eyed and determined.

I couldn’t help but have a brief self-pity moment when I read that. Because, as many of you know, I am not at my goal weight.

But, as I said, the moment was brief. At the start of October, I had one of those bright-eyed and determined moments again. At the time, I had gained back 12 pounds of the 50 I had lost, and I decided it was time to do something about it.

So all this month, that’s what I did. I got my food in order. I got my exercise in order. I got my attitude in order. And I took off the 12 I had gained plus five more.

In total, I’m down 55 with two months to go before the end of the year.

On the Health & Fitness page on Jan. 2, 2012, I plan to run an update on my progress, as well as my “before and after” pictures. I plan to include Monty Meyer in that story as well. The story we ran on his incredible weight loss on the cover of the January 2011 Mankato Magazine was the inspiration for my “fight to be fit,” so it seems fitting to update his story right along with mine.

With that deadline looming, I truly feel like I have something to prove to all of you, which has been the real blessing about being so public about such a private issue: accountability. Another huge blessing has been the reader response. Thank you all for your supportive letters and emails, especially those who have told me that my column inspired you to lose weight. I LOVE that.

Thanks also to those who haven’t been so nice. A woman named “Ang,” short for Angela, wrote to the editor about how she’s had enough of “the fat lady with the big head to match.” I laughed when I told my coworkers about this, and several of them said something like, “Oh, I’m sorry, that’s really mean.” But it doesn’t embarrass me to get the occasional email like that. Seems to me the people who are capable of being so unkind are the ones who have something to be ashamed of. (I hate to call her out publicly, folks, but surely when someone sends an email to a newspaper they don’t expect it to be private.)

And, anyway, when Ang writes that reading my column makes her “lose her appetite,” it just makes me want to keep doing it. The best way to get me to excel at something is to tell me I can’t or shouldn’t do it.

So thanks, Ang. I hope you’re reading this after breakfast. I’d hate to spoil the most important meal of the day for you.

And just so you know, my head is a perfectly average size. It’s my tush that needs the work.

"The Biggest Losers" have left my building

2011-10-23T10:19:00.001-07:00

Meeting and interviewing famous folks is one of the perks of my job. Highlights: talking with Rob Zombie for 45 minutes as he articulated the purpose of extreme and grotesque violence in his films. Sitting 10 feet from Mason Jennings for what I liked to refer to as a private concert as he warmed up for a show. Singing along with Carole King when she visited Gustavus (strong-armed into singing while she had a terrible cold). Sitting in an empty classroom with Peter Krause, discussing, in part, my favorite show "Six Feet Under." Sitting one on one with Elizabeth Edwards in a Mankato family's den, when she was helping her husband campaign for vice-president on Kerry's ticket.

What I love most about these moments is the constant rediscovery of what tends to be a letdown for others when I explain my takeaway each time: People are people are people are people.

In person, or on the phone, when it's just you and Famous Person, all pretense melts away. FP becomes just another friendly (usually) human being that you meet along the way. I love that about my job. I love realizing over and over with each person I interview, famous or not, that we all have so much more in common than we realize. That we all, pardon the cliche, put our pants on one leg at a time. What a great testament to the human condition.

Not that these two are humongously famous, but I found myself having these thoughts again when Rebecca Meyer and Daniel Wright stayed the night at my house. Daniel was a contestant on seasons 7 and 8 of "The Biggest Loser," and Rebecca was on season 8. The two of them met on the show and fell in love. Daniel, from North Carolina, moved to Des Moines, where Rebecca is from, and the two have since made numerous speaking appearances and have otherwise been planning a life together, unsure where they'll end up, but happy to be seeing the country in the meantime. They were in town to run the Vikings 10K (at Mankato Marathon) for Rebecca's campaign to run 50 races in 50 states by the time she's 30.

It didn't take long to learn a lot about the two. They're both open and kind -- not at all guarded, despite the world being a Google search away from seeing so much of their lives on display to judge at will. And you would think, staying in a journalist's home, of all people, would tighten those lips even more. But I found them to be candid and trusting, knowing I wouldn't splash secrets around if they chose to share one or two.

It was fun to gain some insight into the show and to learn what is "staged" and what's actually real. They confirmed my suspicion that, before the weigh-in at the end of each episode, the contestants are weighed-in behind the scenes so producers can order the on-camera weigh-ins in the most dramatic fashion for viewers. But the contestants themselves aren't able to see the results until it's filmed. They also told me that, while they don't know for sure, they think cameras throughout the house and in the bedrooms are monitored to find out when contestants get "deep" into emotional stuff so the trainers can be alerted and the camera crew can film those compelling moments in the gym when the trainers get to the bottom of why certain contestants overeat.

Other items of interest ...

1. Before the weigh-in, if contestants are dehydrated, they make them drink a ton of water, despite the extra weight registering on the scale.

2. They aren't allowed to listen to headphones in the gym, so some contestants in season 8 would sing to each other.

3. The food is provided on the ranch, but the contestants are solely responsible for preparing it and for what they choose to eat.

4. The show never shows how sore and stiff the contestants are in the beginning of the show, but THEY ARE. Rebecca joked that they practically cry when they just try to sit down at the beginning.

As far as Rebecca and Daniel's lives have been after the show, they seem pretty happy. Rebecca, as you may recall, won the $100,000 at-home prize. She bought a Mini Cooper and paid bills. Both get paid to come to towns and give talks, which helps pay bills. They live with Rebecca's parents right now, but are planning to buy a house. And they also are starting their own personal training business. They each have clients they're working with now, one of whom has lost about a hundred pounds. They seem so excited to be passing on what they learned at the Ranch and afterward to other people.

Both admit also to continue to struggle with weight. They always will. They've had lifelong habits that they finally were able to combat just two years ago, so naturally, they continue to learn and there will never be an "end point." With a lifestyle change, each day's renewed goal is to make healthy choices, which isn't always easy.

Rebecca got down to a very thin 140 pounds to win the at-home prize at the season 8 finale, and she has found that weight wasn't healthy for her, so she's found a happy medium, and she will always be "playing with about 15 pounds" up or down, she said. Daniel's goal is to lose about 30 more pounds. But needless to say, that's a far cry from the extra 100 or 200 they had before they started the "Biggest Loser" journey.

Over lunch at the Tav on the Ave on Saturday (I tried to give them the Mankato experience by keeping it local -- dinner at Number 4 the night before helped, too), they were eager and passionate about bringing up my own "fight to be fit" this year and help me pin down areas where I did things right and where I may have veered off track. It was nice of them to offer me their insight and also to offer me a discount to "The Biggest Loser" Fitness Ridge Ranch in Utah, although I have a feeling the price tag would be far greater than I could afford.

When they left Saturday afternoon to go camping with friends in Mapleton, I felt like I'd made a couple of new friends. And truth be told, had they just been a couple of kids I'd met in Mankato who weren't ever on a TV show, they'd be just the kind of people I would want to hang out with.

So while it's probably not what most people would consider the "best story," here's my takeaway from hosting a couple of "Biggest Losers" at my house this weekend: Rebecca and Daniel are a couple of nice, normal kids, who, as Rebecca put it, "just happened to be on TV."

America's sweetheart lets us all down on 'Runway'

2011-10-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

Anya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're killing me!

How could she do so well all season only to choke when it matters most? I worried immediately when Tim Gunn made his house call to Trinidad during part one of the "Runway" season finale last night. All the other designers had about 10 pieces they had completed before he arrived. All Anya had was fabric. Just fabric. Not even a single sketch. What in the world was she doing for the few weeks between last week's episode and this finale?

When she got back to New York, Anya still wasn't ready. Her collection was completely uninspired. And I expected so much more. If she was able to create such inventive and beautiful shapes during two-day challenges, without much sewing experience, I could only imagine what she would come up with in her own time, at her own pace. I think America was sorely disappointed last night.

Viktor definitely fulfilled his prophecy as the clear front-runner. His clothes are always well made and innovative. I see him winning next week for sure. And I'm actually really bored with that thought. His work doesn't inspire me, doesn't fire me up.

I'll tell you whose work does fire me up, for all the wrong reasons: Josh. It pained my heart when the judges sent him through to Fashion Week FIRST. First. I agree that a couple of the pieces from the three-piece collection weren't horrible. But that "Olivia Newton John" unitard, as Michael put it, was absolutely hideous. The fabric choice was hideous. The peek-a-boo butt was hideous. And the plastic collar was hideous. My theory about how he made it this far is that he always performed one step better than the worst during each episode. He sucked, but just a little less than someone else during each challenge. In my mind, he's made it to the finale by default, alone.

I actually liked Kim's stuff. I was surprised the judges got on her case so much. I guess I was relieved, though, because between her and Anya, I think Anya deserved to go home Thursday night. So while the judges were cowardly in allowing all of them to go through, rather then sending home America's sweetheart like she probably deserved, I'm one viewer who's OK with that. I'm pulling for Anya to take these last couple of days before Mercedes Benz and do her usual last-minute miracle work.

The Project Runway finale has one too many designers

2011-10-14T07:36:00.001-07:00

It's not that I wanted Laura to get through into the finale. That circle dress ... the one that looked like a craft project ... the one that puckered in the a** area ... the one the model couldn't walk in ... the one the judges seemed to APPRECIATE FOR ITS CONSTRUCTION AND INVENTION (???) ... I just loathed it. I loathed all three pieces in her mini-collection, inspired by Governor's Island (which was the challenge).

So, yes, go home, Laura. You're awful. What upsets me is that Heidi gave me hope. She said, and I quote, "One or more of you will be out." ONE OR MORE. That left room for them to decide it was high time Joshua packed up his 10 suitcases worth of attitude and headed back to whatever small-time Soho sewing club he came from. If I have to hear about his $100,000 worth of schooling that taught him the oh-so important mechanics of construction -- which apparently also taught him nothing about fashion-forward design -- I'm going to start muting the television whenever he's on. Plastic fabric, Josh? Really?

And yet, he goes through. He's in the finale. Why, oh why couldn't Kimberly have pulled out another miracle last night? She's got the talent. She just can't deal with deadline pressure. So it's so frustrating to watch her make mistakes, knowing that if she had the time, she could rethink and come up with something great. Isn't that how most of us do our best work? Trial and error until we come up with a surefire winner? I think that's how her mind works, and the two days for challenges just isn't enough time for her process. (Although, there was no saving those fabric choices: orange wool and silver plastic. Huh?)

Meanwhile, we have Josh, who when give more time to work, just keeps adding sh** to his clothes that make them worse than they were before.

Thank goodness they sent Kim through. I think, deep down, the judges know she'll turn in a great collection and that Josh, given months to work on a collection, will wheel out a rack of sad clown outfits. Maybe, if I'm very lucky, it'll be a Runway first, and Tim will see Josh's collection and say, "I'm really sorry, but we simply can't soil the name of 'Project Runway' during fashion week by letting you send this catastrophe down the Runway. Forget Heidi, I, personally, am auf-ing you." If only ...

But, I digress. Anya, once again, turned in the best collection last night. Chic and beautiful, fashion-forward, and she didn't even use prints this time, which is her old standby. Go Anya, go Anya, i's yo' birthday. ...sorry.

So, who will it come down to in the finale? Anya and Viktor, of course. Kim will come in third. Joshua will be humiliated. And all will be right in the world.

Collaborative scavengers take over the CSU gallery

2011-10-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

About 100 people walked down the stairs of the Centennial Student Union to the lower-level gallery space for the opening reception of “Vulture Culture,” a collaborative installation exhibit. And a taxidermied buck head with an irritated look on its face was the first thing they saw as they grew closer -- appropriately illuminating the themes of discarded materials and scavenging.

What laid below the head proved the most intriguing. A dirty toilet exploded upward with installation foam, colored hot pink and orange. To the left, a collage of black and white paper raccoons spread upward over a floral wall paper, beginning atop a green bucket filled with cupcakes. And sandwiched between was the curator of the exhibit and artist behind the piece, Dana Sikkila. As a performance piece during the reception, which was held Oct. 4, she wore a cutesy pink dress and at one point spit out pink liquid, to suggest overindulgence or "overdosing on something that's good."

The piece, called "Peppermint Puke," certainly is a focal point of the exhibit, which features nine artists from the Minnesota State University art department, each representing a different discipline in the program. Even though someone mistakenly cleaned up the pile of cupcakes, and obviously Sikkila's presence in the piece was limited to opening night, "Peppermint Puke" is nothing if not eye-catching in the gallery space.

The most intriguing aspect of the piece, however -- as well as every other piece in the installation -- is the fact that it's relatively unclear where Sikkila's piece ends.

Having met as early as the summer to plan the exhibit, the artists decided that each work should blend into the next, creating a unique collaborative effort that speaks to a larger idea.

Sikkila, a master's candidate and experienced artist who was approached to put on a show in the CSU, said while many people in the program have shown work in gallery spaces, she wanted to give an opportunity to others who may not have had as many opportunities. Represented in the show are Ian Roberts, Tyler Anderson, Krista Heinitz, Broc Toft, Bill Lundblad, Curt Germundson, Ty Abrahamson and Gina Hunt.

Hunt’s piece, "Thin Skinned and Fleeting," a digital print on Japanese paper, is an installation of three pieces that originated with the same image: Hunt's naked back after she had received injections for pain. She manipulated the images to appear worn and almost decayed. The idea was to be confrontational and vulnerable at the same time. Hanging from the ceiling and staggered, viewers are meant to walk between the pieces and see them also from the back side.

Hunt’s piece leads into "Cell," a painted wood sculpture by Abrahamson. Other mediums featured in the exhibit include sticks, fabric, acrylics, photography and even digital projections and sound.

Erik Waterkotte, an MSU art faculty member, said the show is the first time a student has put together an exhibit that wasn't for course work, and it's the first time an installation has covered all of the gallery's windows, which Sikkila said "reforms" the space and envelopes the viewer.

Waterkotte said he's glad to see students working to build the art community on campus.

If you go
What
"Vulture Culture," an installation featuring nine artists from the MSU art department
When
Runs through Wednesday, Oct. 19, in the CSU lower-level gallery

Voting ending soon for CityArt Sculpture Walk

2011-10-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

It's getting down to the wire. Only a few days left to vote for the People's Choice winner of the first CityArt Sculpture Walk. Voting goes through Oct. 28. Ballots can be found at any of the ballot boxes that line the walk, at Emy Frentz Arts Guild or at sponsoring businesses and organizations.

Ballots can be turned in at the ballot boxes or Emy Frentz. So far, about 800 votes have been cast from people from 18 states and four countries, said Shannon Robinson, executive director of Twin Rivers Center for the Arts. The winner will be announced in mid-November. Twenty-five sculptures have been on display in downtown Mankato and North Mankato this year, and come next year, a round of new sculptures will replace them to keep the walk fresh.

However, one piece -- the People's Choice winner -- will be purchased. The sculptures range from bronze, molten resin, steel and even one cast out of bicycle handles welded and constructed together. The artists are from all over the United States, including Minnesota, New York, New Mexico, Colorado and South Dakota.

The tour is a collaboration between the City Center Partnership and Twin Rivers Council of the Arts and will also include an award for Best in Show. At the end of year, individuals and businesses also will have the opportunity to purchase any of the sculptures, except for the one chosen for the People's Choice award.

For more information, visit Twin Rivers or City Center Partnership online.

Project Runway is for the birds

2011-10-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

At first sight of those birds, I was like, "Have you run out of ideas, 'Project Runway,' or are you just egregiously lazy." But as the challenge unfolded -- pitting two designers against each other, piling on a second look and then GASP! taking a second look out of the equation after all that work has been put in! -- I was on board. Totally on board.

It was an edge-of-your-seat evening for "Runway." The Kimberly drama was pretty intense. She's so talented, but she always gets caught up in thinking too much. One thing after another kept going wrong because her attitude and confidence were spiraling downward. And when that glue gun made a whole in that dress she'd been laboring over for hours? I gasped out loud. Clasped my hand over my mouth.

Yet, I kept thinking to myself, the designer who wins and the one who goes home always play a larger role in that respective episode. So all of the attention they were placing negatively on Kimberly, and I thought for sure she would actually be the winner. Somehow, she would pull it out.

Well, she didn't win. But that dress (white and silky, inspired by the cockatoo) that she delivered was TO DIE. Loved. If I didn't have mid-chub, I would LOVE to wear that dress. You pretty much have to be flat around the middle to rock a dress that bares skin down to the waistband. The white LEATHER waistband. Gorgeous.

My favorite dress of the night -- for once -- was the winner. Anya, my love. She pulled out another win on a $20,000 challenge. Inspired by the raven, the black structured dress was an innovative shape with super interesting details at the shoulder, waist and back "tail" area. I could not believe Joshua's attitude when he didn't win. He barely looked at Anya because her sewing skills aren't up to par. Well, dummy, it's a design competition, not "Project Seamstress." And hello? He put an orange bird corsage on the sleeve of his dress. Who would reward that with 20 grand? And I quote: "Then she had to get I-was-drunk-in-the-Caribbean corsage on her shoulder." -Michael Kors.

I have left the best news of Thursday night for last. Many of you have waited a long time with me for this, so let us savor these words together: Bert "the codger" Keeter has left the building. About ... damn ... time. His inspiration is a green parrot, and his princess dress from the 1980s is GRAY. The bodice is snake-skin silver, and the top layer of that flowy, ankle-length monstrosity is the same shade of metallic boredom. There was a pop of green underneath, which Heidi was like, "I get what he was trying to do." Good god, Heidi. How about YOU wear Bert's outdated rags and leave the rest of us out of it.

Anyway, he's gone. We can all breath a sigh of relief.
And if you're wondering who won over who in the bird-challenge smackdown, here goes:

Bert vs. Josh, team parrot -- Josh takes it.

Viktor vs. Kimberly, team cockatoo -- Kim pulls out the steal in the last three hours.

Anya vs. Laura -- Anya wins by a landslide, with Laura turning in her usual literal mess, only this time in pants.

One of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time - Heidi

2011-09-30T14:00:00.001-07:00

At a certain point during the "Project Runway" season, front-runners appear. But I don't remember it ever being as obvious and exclusive as this year. If it wasn't so much fun to continuously watch the bad ones fail, there really wouldn't be a point to watch the weekly episodes until the finale. I mean, seriously.

Top Three: Viktor, Kimberly, Anya.

This fact was abundantly clear Thursday night as well. With the exception of Laura's second look, none of the other designers (those not listed above) made looks that were at all tasteful or wearable. The challenge was to make two 1970s looks that are also modern. So not literal is what they were looking for.

I was stunned Joshua didn't go home -- considering Heidi called one of his pieces "one of the worst outfits I've seen in a long time -- although the decision wreaked of a purposeful shock move, since Anthony Ryan has actually performed well in the past. Not Thursday, though, and he was booted for some fugly clothes.

Anya was the winner of the challenge. She had lost her money at Mood, and she created an outfit better than the majority with $11.50 donated to her by other designers. Her second look was cute, too. But I saw Kimberly as the clear winner with her pencil skirt and crop top.

And still, we can't seem to get rid of Bert. I thought for sure his Barbie-esque fabric selection and booty shorts would result in some Bert-bashing by the judges. But once again, they continue to kiss his old butt.

He'll get his soon enough. It's only a matter of a few weeks before Viktor, Anya and Kimberly make it to the finals. Mark my words!

This 'big loser' has backslid

2011-09-29T08:12:00.001-07:00

Wednesday's breakfast: skipped. Lunch: turkey and bacon club (with mayo) and steak fries (with lots of ketchup). Dinner: Kwik Trip corndog and a bag of candy orange slices. Dessert: Fruit and yogurt and granola thing, with two glasses of red wine.

Yeah, folks, I've backslid. Many of you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's when the "keeping it off is the hardest part" statement starts ringing in your ears. It's when you look back at a couple of months before, when you SWORE there was no possible way that junk food for dinner and zero exercise for days could possibly be your lifestyle anymore. I mean, how in the world could you ruin all of your hard work?! There's just no way.

Oh, there's a way. You know it, and I know it. There's always a way that the old lifestyle can come creeping back in, with a tiny whisper of a promise in your brain that it's only temporary. It's just a break. Tomorrow you'll do better. But for today, live it up. Embrace what tastes good and don't worry about having to zip up those jeans tomorrow, which, for some reason, just keep getting tighter and tighter.

Well, today is "tomorrow," I guess. I haven't gained back a ton of the 50 pounds I lost this year. But it's a bit. Enough to make me worry. Enough to make me come clean to all of you, and to declare that my summer of carefree fun with candy and cookies and avoidance of the gym is OVER.

I won't be bombarding you with numerous columns about said subject, as I did for a solid seven months. But once in a while, I'd like to check in to gain back some of that accountability that helped so much a while back. Maybe that will help ensure Wednesday's 2,500-calorie day of sugar, fat and alcohol won't happen again anytime soon.

Thursday's breakfast: honeycrisp apple. Hurray! Off to a good start.

'Biggest Loser' stars are crashing at my house

2011-09-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

As a somewhat local public figure -- and that term, in this case, is as loose as a wizard's sleeve -- I'm asked to do some strange, but interesting things. Judge beauty pageants, essay contests, chili feeds. Speak at schools and meetings. For anyone who knows me real well, it's odd anyone would want me in any key role for an event. I'm just a silly, TV-addicted, candy-loving writer.

But, as I've come to notice, when you slap your mugshot on a column and write in the first person, people start identifying with you, even if you're just spouting off about an episode of "Project Runway."

So, once again I've been surprised by a request. ... Folks (or at least one folk) at the Greater Mankato Convention & Visitors Bureau read my blog for the first half of this year when I complained several times a week about losing weight. In total, 50 ell-bees. ... A week or so ago we published a brief stating that Rebecca and Daniel, contestants on Season 8 of "The Biggest Loser," would be coming to Mankato Oct. 22 or thereabouts to run the 10K during Mankato Marathon. The two, who met on the show and fell in love (awwww), were looking for a host family to stay with while in town. ... The Chamber put two and two together, and voila! "Why not have two famous 'Biggest Losers' stay with Mankato's very own public 'Biggest Loser.'" Lol.

Sure! Why not, right? I don't live in a palace. And I have a smelly dog. But I've been known to be hospitable to guests. And how often do we get the chance to have TV stars stay in our homes?

Several concerns: What do you feed 10K runners the morning before the big race? What will they want to watch on TV? Should I record that week's episode of "The Biggest Loser" so we can watch together? Do they even watch that show? Maybe "Project Runway" is more their style. Or maybe, since they're all totally healthy now, they'd rather take a walk in the woods or something naturey like that. (In which case, do I have to go?)

Anyway, this could be interesting. Hopefully they'll be as laid back as I am and we can just rent movies or something. My mom's already begging to come over and cook dinner, though. So I guess I'll be able to add bodyguard to my roster of public duties, too. (She's a hugger.)

Olivier designs for a 'plus size' man ...haha

2011-09-26T09:00:00.001-07:00

I honestly think that the producers have sat around and thought, "How can we make this the funniest episode of 'Project Runway' that we've ever had?" And they're doing it! They're doing it!

Last week was awesome with the designing for straight guys' girlfriends. But designing for actual straight dudes? In a band, no less? Priceless.

They just floundered! It was as if none of them had ever seen a man before, and most of them actually are men, as you may recall. I was surprised that none of the male designers had ever made clothes for themselves before.

Once again, Olivier made a fool of me for having chosen him in the beginning as one of my favorites. He went home and for good reason. He kept calling the poor lead singer of the Sheepdogs "big." "He's just so much biggah than anyone I've eva seen in real life. He's just enormous." Well, something like that, anyway. He even referred to the poor man as "plus size." Isn't that a female clothing term? And isn't that also completely inaccurate? He was fairly average, if you ask me. ...Anyway, he chose yellow and blue fabric with swans on it for the shirt. Enough said. He was auf'd. Big time. Although if I'm being honest, I thought Kimblerly's orange bowling shirt was much worse.

The winner was Viktor. Hated the shirt, and really? A fringe jacket? But given the competition this week, it was the right decision.

Fall TV is causing some scheduling conflicts

2011-09-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

On the eve of the Fall TV Kick-Off -- aka Sunday night -- I had a problem. A big one. My digital cable had been “blinking” on and off for a while. Everything I had recorded came up with these freeze-ups every 30 seconds.

But it wasn’t all the time with every single channel, so I decided to see if it would go away. When it interrupted extremely important Sunday night programming -- I mean, come on, Sunday is THE DAY to watch TV, if you’re going to at all -- I knew I had to get somebody over to my pad fast before it messed up premiere week.

I’m not going to name the company. But gee whiz, I always have trouble. They keep you on the horn to “troubleshoot,” which never frickin’ works, and then they make you wait two hours for somebody to show up, only so they can show up 20 minutes past the two-hour window you were warned to be home during. Frustration mounts! It just mounts.

So, anyway, this morning, alas, I was given a digital box. Hurray, hurray. No more blinks. But it also means my series recordings are gone. They’re just gone. So I have some work to do.

What do I mean, you ask? Check out my fall TV lineup (and this doesn’t include those fun filler shows, such as House Hunters, Color Splash, Pawn Stars, Hoarders and other creepy TLC programming.)

I have color-coded new shows in a lovely shade of pink for your reference.

Monday

Dancing With the Stars, 7-9 p.m., ABC

*Two and a Half Men, 8-8:30 p.m., CBS

American Pickers, 8-9 p.m., History

Weeds, 9-9:30 p.m., Showtime

The Big C, 9:30-10 p.m., Showtime

EXTRA: Emmy special Fashion Police, 9-10 p.m., E!

Tuesday

The Biggest Loser, 7-9 p.m., NBC

New Girl, 8-8:30 p.m., Fox

Raising Hope, 8:30-9 p.m., Fox

Wednesday

The Middle, 7-7:30 p.m., ABC

Up All Night, 7-7:30 p.m., NBC

Modern Family, 7:30-8 p.m., ABC

Storage Wars, 9-10 p.m., A&E

Thursday

Parks and Rec, 7:30-8 p.m., NBC

The Office, 8-8:30 p.m., NBC

Project Runway, 8-9:30 p.m., Lifetime

SUNDAY

*Little People Big World, 7-8 p.m., TLC

Desperate Housewives, 8-9 p.m., ABC

Dexter, 8-9 p.m., Showtime

Breaking Bad, 9-10 p.m. AMC

PanAm, 9-10 p.m., ABC

As you can see, I keep my DVR pretty busy. Often I'm faced with difficult choices when unexpected programming pops up. I sometimes have to record two programs downstairs (that's the maximum allowance) and watch a third program upstairs, just so I don't miss anything.

: )

Did I mention that when I was a baby my mom used to put me in a crank-up swing and park me in front of the TV? Did I mention my first sentence was the early 1980s Coca-Cola ad slogan "Coke is it." Did I also mention that, nowadays, you will find me in a rocking chair parked in front of the TV drinking Coke Zero like it's going out of style?

Anyway, happy fall TV everyone!

(*Footnote: I consider Two and a Half Men new because of Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen, and I consider LPBW new because it went off the air for a bit and now it's back, see.)

Wow, the Emmys are really fun!

2011-09-18T17:54:00.000-07:00

My longtime readers (bless all three of you) know I love a good awards show. After the holidays I light up when I realize awards season is on deck, with the Oscars waiting at the end like a giant unwrapped package with silver ribbon.

But tonight I remembered just how fun the Emmys are, and I wondered why I haven't paid closer attention in the past. I never have really included it in my must-see awards show lineup, but dang! I've been missing out. What a fun show! Jane Lynch ... amazing as the host. So funny. And it's as if they read my mind with every single award. All my favorites cleaned up.

I have to give mad props to my favorite comedy, "Modern Family," for wins for Ty and Julie, for best supporting. (Kind of funny that all four men were nominated in the same category.) The show also took directing and writing awards and best comedy again! So well deserved. I laugh like an idiot, knee-slappingly loud, even during repeats. Especially recently when I rewatched the episode where the Dunphys change up good cop and bad cop roles. "You poked the bear, girls. You poked him!" ...Oh man...

I was also so excited to see Melissa McCarthy win for best actress in a comedy. I'm not a huge fan of "Mike and Molly," but I will always think of her as my Sookie -- the ORIGINAL Sookie, before Stackhouse stole its identity. Sookie St. James, as some of you know, was a beloved character in "Gilmore Girls." (How awesome was it that all the best actress in a comedy nominees took the stage when their names were called as nominees? Nice touch.)

When it got to the drama portion of the show, however, all I kept thinking was, "Where the hell are all the 'Breaking Bad' nominations? Doesn't Bryan Cranston win every year? Not even a single nomination?" It sent me Googling in the middle of the show, where I learned that the new summer schedule for "Breaking Bad" means season 4 won't be eligible until next year's Primetime Emmys. The more you know (shooting star).

As far as fashion goes -- because it is, after all, a crucial part of all awards shows -- I've got to give it to Kate Winslet, hands down. A beautiful, classic Elie Saab with capped sleeves, but in a smoking' hot red. She can do no wrong.

Gay designers + straight men = Big laughs

2011-09-15T18:42:00.001-07:00

Bahahhahahahahaaa!!!

The funniest series of moments in "Runway" history: Olivier, in a fake British accent, "Whaht iss double dee? What duss thaht mean?" (All serious to the camera) "I think the biggah boobs, they will be a prohblem for me."

Oh man ... a bunch of gay designers sitting around with heterosexual, boosie-loving men talking fashion ... now THAT'S good TV. Geriatric Bert standing by while some horned-up Italian motorboats his dress-making dummy? Come on! I'm dying over here ...

But let's get onto the business at hand. Bryce. He had such potential! He was one of my original choices, as you may recall. And if I had it my way, he would have skirted by last night with that pink mini and Anthony Ryan would have been sent packing for his 1987 V-neck monstrosity. (I was just having a conversation with a friend who was like, "Anthony Ryan's going all the way. He's got it." I'm like, "Got what? Crappy taste? Indeed, he does have it." Inyoface, anonymous friend.

As for who should have won but did not, Anya rocked it AGAIN last night. She was my No. 1 since day 1! Holla!!!! ...Oy, did I just say holla? I should be sent packing for that one.

Anyway, Viktor won. I don't object. It was a cute look. But it wasn't the best look of the night, not that the judges ever care about that.
ADDENDUM: I was wrong! Viktor did not win. I think I blocked out the fact that Joshua won, with his blah black cocktail dress. Why? I have no idea. I DO object!

Until next Runway ...

Mason Jennings plays intimate show at the Hag

2011-09-13T07:16:00.000-07:00

I got to the Coffee Hag super early Monday night, about 5:30 or so just to make sure I was in the lovely Jenn Melby's way as she and her staff were clearing out tables to prepare for the Mason Jennings concert at 7:30. The Hag is an intimate space for a concert, and with 90 or so people expected, I wanted to make sure I got a seat up front to take pictures.

The concert was part of The Current radio station's Road Trip series to outstate cities that carry The Current's signal. DJ Jill Riley was the host of Monday's concert at the Hag. The two of us were on a journalism speaking panel together at MSU last year, and I interviewed her for the preview story on the concert that I ran in the Currents section last week. So she was kind enough to put me down as her "plus one" for the show. (The tickets were free, but they were gone in four minutes, so I was too late to get into the show without pulling a media string or two.)

What I didn't anticipate was that Jennings would be at the Hag just as early as I was to meet people and do sound check. So I sat at my little table for two against the brick wall with my laptop, doing some homework and quietly observing. Several employees and friends of the Hag gave Jennings demos of their bands, which he graciously accepted. Several people approached for photos, which he didn't at all seem to mind. Several people asked him questions and exchanged stories about the Twin Cities area music scene, where Jennings got his start in coffee shops a decade ago.

Being a fly on the wall in a situation like that is priceless to any arts journalist. We get the opportunity to speak with musicians on the phone to ask a few questions before a local show, which at times can yield insight into actual, true character. At times. But rarely do we get to see them in any kind of natural way, guard down, no pretense.

From his music you'd expect Jennings to be kind, laid back, insightful. And from what I could tell, he absolutely is. A true Minnesotan: NICE (even though he joined us here in the great Midwest as a young adult).

Jenn closed the Hag around 6:30 and cleared everyone out except a handful of employees mingling in the back. I got to stay. And sitting 10 feet from the stage, Jennings sat in front of the piano and started to play. For a few minutes, I got a private concert. And it was one of those moments where there was nowhere else I'd rather be.

When Jenn turned the lights down and let the audience in, a few dozen people sat on the floor in front of the stage. Jill introduced Jennings to the crowd, and he started into the piano-based "Bitter Heart," and it still felt like he was playing just for me. Chatting with a woman near my table a while later, she said the same thing. Intimate, melodic and peaceful. Music you can listen to all day, as another concert-goer put it.

After every couple of songs Jennings played, Jill would ask him a few questions, including the sound of the new record, "Minnesota," which came out today. He talked about appreciating the contrast between his last record, which was louder and electric, and the quieter piano-driven music on this new one. He talked about how the actor, Jason Schwartzman, also a musician (Coconut Records), played instruments on the record.
He talked about how the concert at the Hag was his first in a coffee shop in 10 years, so it was a nice return to his roots. Both of them talked about stopping at Jim's Apple Barn on the way down to Mankato, Jennings for Zestar apples, a recent discovery of his, and Jill for candy. And he told a funny story about having to sing the "National Anthem" at a Twins game, where there was a one-second delay between the words he was singing and the echo in the stadium, making delivery extremely difficult. At one point he started rocking back and forth like a frightened child, sure he was massacring the song. To his surprise, his slower delivery (due to extreme concentration) came off as intentional and moving.

But the most interesting Q&A came from the audience.

Q: Who does your hair?
A: The wind.

Q: What is the most musical food?
A: Chocolate chip cookies, because trumpets go off in his head when he sees them and he can't resist.

Q: Which one of his songs should Danny and Ashley in the audience play at their wedding?
A: He wouldn't go there. Such a personal decision should be made by the couple, but he was touched they would choose his music at all.

Q: Will he bless Jen and Justin's unborn child?
(A pregnant couple in the audience.)
A: Yes, with a chord he played on the piano.

Q: Dogs or cats?
A: Dogs, but more recently. He suddenly felt the urge as an adult to hug a dog. His family now has a retriever named Rosie.

Q: Will you play at the Coffee Hag again?
A: "I hope so. This place is great."

For you Jennings fans who plan to catch him on tour, here's the setlist:
1. Bitter Heart "Minnesota"
2. Raindrops on a Kitchen Floor "Minnesota"
3. Rudy "Minnesota"
4. Hearts Stop Beating "Minnesota"
5. Clutch "Minnesota"
6. No Relief "Minnesota"
7. Ballad for my One True Love "Birds Flying Away"
8. Ulysses "Use Your Voice"

What woman wants 'canceled' on her crotch?

2011-09-10T12:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone who thought the clocks team should have won Thursday night's Runway challenge, raise your hands!! ... All of you buffoons with hands in the air, consider yourselves auf'd from this blog.

OK, OK, you can keep reading. But please seek help for your devastating vision problem.

I mean, what in the world? I was super excited to see a team challenge were five designers had to mesh their design ideas together into one collection. Plus, they had to design fabrics, which is always tragic. But I swear, from the first time Tim entered the work room, the winning team was abundantly clear.

Well, hold on, I suppose given Heidi's affinity for Bert's insane garments, there was a bit of doubt lingering. Those judges ... who knows what they'll say next. But for the vast majority of sane viewers, it was quite clear that Anthony Ryan and Viktor's team had the corner market on classy-sassy New York wear Thursday night.

My favorite piece was Anthony Ryan's tulip skirt. I also loved Olivier's tailored jacket. Anya was the winner of the challenge, but only because, while every other designer voted for THEMSELVES to be the winner on the team, Bryce threw his vote to Anya, so she ended up with two. So I'm not sure why she was that excited about the win.

The losing team, on the other hand, made up fabric designs to go along with a time/clocks theme, so some models had words such as "canceled" and "delayed" on their outfits, including the dreaded "canceled" on the crotch piece that Michael Kors pointed out (it sent the frumpy Becky packing). What was the worst piece? Every single piece on the losing team. 'Nuff said.

Heidi Klum and I are OVER

2011-09-02T07:46:00.000-07:00

There are moments on "Project Runway" when I 100 percent cannot believe what I am hearing from the judges. Thursday night not only fit into that category, but I couldn't think of another night in all nine seasons when I've been more bewildered.

First, the challenge: The designers paired up with students from the Harlem art academy to create a painting together and then design an avant-garde garment inspired by the painting. I LOVED this challenge. Avant-garde challenges are always love it or leave it moments on the runway. There is usually no in between. Lots of drama.

I'm not going to rehash all of the outfits. Really, there are only two moments worth getting upset over.

No. 1 with a bullet: This is where Heidi Klum and I part ways FOREVER. I have tried to see her strange points of view in the past. But last night, when she was arguing for Bert's 1980s-pastel-clownpanted-tightankled-geometric-craft-project, I threw up my hands, quite literally, and said aloud in my empty living room, "I'm done! I'm (expletive) done. Heidi is an (expletive) idiot, and apparently blind," and just because she has decades of experience wearing high fashion does not mean she knows a darn thing about it. (And after a few seasons of watching "Project Runway," I guess that qualifies me as an expert ...)

There was a slight reprieve in that the other judges "didn't get" Bert's garment. But they were quite gentle in their criticism, and that is unacceptable. He should have been pushed into a corner and verbally socked in the stomach, repeatedly. We should have seen a Bert vs. judges smackdown, with him finally revealing his true colors as the workroom's biggest *itch. To say I was let down is the understatement of "Runway" history.

No. 2: There was only one moment on the runway that was breathtaking. The rest, quite frankly, were awful. (There are usually at least a couple to choose from. Not Thursday.) Kimberly! How was Kimberly not the winner of last night's challenge? Instead, she's in the middle of the pack. She doesn't event get feedback from the judges. The red feathers, the pleather, the asymmetric cut, the head piece ... somehow, she made all of those red-flag elements come together in complete and total cohesion. BEAUTIFUL.

I was telling my friend the other day that half the fun of "Runway" is getting pissed at the judges. I think I've changed my mind. It can't be healthy to be this angry over a TV show.

One designer managed the impossible ...

2011-08-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

Late again, I know. Let's not dwell on it. : )

The challenge was OK on Thursday. I must admit, I get a bit of pleasure out of watching the designers' faces when they learn they will have to work in teams. (Bwahahahha) The big question: Who will get stuck with Bert, who is doing absolutely nothing for the AARP community, let me tell you. What a stodgy piece of work he is. I loved when he was looking directly at the four boxes on the counter filled with the designers' challenge clues, and poor Viktor is like, "They're right there! Can you bring me mine?" or something. And Bert's like, "What are you talking about? This counter is filled with stuff; I don't see any clues."

Anyway, back to the challenge. The designers worked in teams of three to make sportswear that would go well with a line of sneakers Heidi was involved with. ...Just as an aside, does anyone else raise an eyebrow when, so often, these judges are getting free work out of these designers? They're like, "Design us some stuff that we can sell and make a ton of money off of, and your reward will be that your name will be associated with my millions in profits, and we also will not humiliate you on the runway ... this week."

So who did we like? We'll get to that. There are more pressing matters at hand here. Because not another word can be written on this subject until we address the elephant in the room -- literally, the elephant -- which was the poor model that had to walk straight-faced down the runway wearing Anthony Ryan's camel-toe shorts. The short elicited the funniest and most accurate criticism of the night from Michael Kors: "You've managed to achieve the impossible. Those shorts are tight and baggy at the same time." I was rolling. The shiny shorts ballooned around the hips and were pulled tight just in the crotch. I was appalled. I was taken aback. And then I was just pissed that he wasn't the one who went home. Just look! Look, I say! How? How is that possible? NO part of this "garment" fits. Not one single part. WHY?

Now, I'm not saying I wanted to see yet another chiffon blouse from Danielle. I didn't. But I didn't throw up when her outfit came down the runway either. Still, she was the unlucky designer Thursday to be auf'd.

So back to who we did like. ... As much as I hate to admit it, I liked Bert's blue, Grecian top. That's all I'm going to say about it, because I think he's a pukey person, and I don't want to give him too many props. And plus, I think it was too fancy to go with sneakers, so there.

Bryce was my top pick of the evening. Super cool dress. Casual enough to go with sneakers, fashion forward with the snaps on the side, and could easily be dressed up with heals. Well done!

Viktor won the challenge, which is fine. His motorcycle jacket was really cool. I didn't care for the wrinkled gray dress underneath, but it wasn't awful, and it had a nice silhouette.

I must say, I hope the challenges get a little more interesting without being circus-like. The stilts? Worst in challenge history. The sportswear? Snooze. They need to start thinking about materials instead of gimmicks. The funnest challenges are the ones where they design beautiful clothes out of newspaper or produce. Creative, ultra challenging and the designers are never happy about it. How fun!

Ninazilla on the workroom rampage

2011-08-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

OK! I'm all set for Thursday night -- all caught up on "Runway" -- and this time I will actually be home for the viewing.

Just wanted to update since I did finally see the last episode. First of all, Nina is so difficult! I knew she would be since she's kind of a jerky stickler as a judge. But talk about not giving any creative license to the DESIGNERS. Isn't it always her who says, "Listen to your client, but in the end, we want to see your vision. You are the designer; you make the choices." I guess only when the client isn't Nina herself, eh? Jeez!

Even though Becky didn't make it to the top, I stand by my original choice as her being the appropriate winner. I loved her dress. I was pleased with Kimberly's, too, though. It just seemed that Nina practically made that outfit for her. She was going to do a dress, and then Nina said she wanted pants. She was going to do a blue top until Nina said she didn't want the whole thing blue. So at least Becky arrived at her garment all on her own.

I also stand by Julie as the loser, which was actually what happened. The chick just ... doesn't ... get it. BAD.

I'll be back Friday this time, I promise!

Totally behind on Runway

2011-08-19T09:14:00.000-07:00

So, for the past two episodes of "Project Runway," I have forgotten to set the DVR to record. And, to my dismay, it is not OnDemand, so I'm having to try to catch it in reruns later in the week, and then I forget to blog because it's the weekend ... It's a whole to-do.

So, friends of 'Runway,' yet again I have missed "Runway" and am waiting for the newest episode to appear in reruns.

HOWEVER! I'm going to offer preliminary commentary based on viewing the fashion slideshow on MyLifetime.com.

So here's what I understood about the challenge from the LA Times: If you're a Nina Garcia fan, Thursday's "Project Runway" was a party all for you. It was certainly a party for Nina, who was still a judge, and was the only client, for whom each designer had to make a work-to-industry-evening-event outfit. And in case that wasn't enough all-about-Nina for you, the winning designer's work would be showcased in an ad featuring Nina on top of New York City cabs.

Well, OK. Not a particularly interesting challenge, but after last week's fiasco with the stilts, I'm fine with a tamer one. (What an absolutely ridiculous episode that was with the stilts. Talk about a circus stunt, with creepy models and even creepier garments. The judges railed on designers for making outfits too costumey? Are they serious? The pants are 10 feet tall! Good grief ...)

So, anyway, without reading about who won or lost, here's who I think rocked it in the Nina challenge.

Becky's was my favorite dress. I liked the wrap-dress affect and the splattered black fabric. But I suspect that it's a little too hip for Nina. She seems more of a solid gray or navy fabric kind of gal. Or black. Or something else boring.

I also really liked one of my pick's, Bryce. Gray and black fabric, like she would like. But those shoulders are a little too modern for her, me thinks.

Kimberly's gold wrap shirt was OK, too. Didn't go well with those blue pants, though. Weird.

So who sucked? EVERYONE ELSE. If I had to pick one, I'd say Julie's insane, asymmetric mess of a dress will be the loser this week. She's had numerous shots, and she's been terrible the whole time.

I'll update when I actually watch the show. Until then, auf Wiedersehen!

"It looks like she's nursing triplets" - Michael

2011-08-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

Ah! I'm a big sucker for these crazy types of challenges where the "Project Runway" contestants have to go into unusual stores and make dresses out of produce and such. Last night the designers went into a pet store and had to make garments out of leashes and hamster bedding and aquarium beads and wee-wee pads. Loved it! So fun.

But I must say, the judges had it all wrong ...

I'm usually not one to argue with my picks doing well. But Oliver did not deserve to win. First of all, the judges railed on several contestants for using "fabric-like" materials, including an umbrella and pee pads, in a challenge that called for more unusual, creative materials. Yet, Oliver constructed his entire top out of a dog bed -- HELLO, FABRIC! -- and he won? I don't get it. I also don't get how they didn't nail him for the fit of that dress. The bottom was made out of hamster bedding, which is cool, but the muslin underneath he constructed it out of ballooned out. It looked boxy.

I definitely thought Anthony Ryan's bird seed dress was the best. The sunflower-seed collar was to die. Loved, loved, loved.

Then, on the flip side, they had Fallene in the very bottom. She almost went home. And I LOVED her dress. They kept calling it Autumn-ish and pumpkin-like and boring. She used aquarium kelp, cut it all up and glued it to the skirt, which I thought was plenty inventive. And it looked so cute. Any girl would want to wear that dress. Totally flattering.

I definitely agreed with who they sent home. The headline comment about nursing triplets was about Joshua's garment. The top was oversized and matronly, and he made it out of an umbrella. So there wasn't anything special about it. Utterly forgettable.

In the battle of the wee-wee pads, I'd definitely say Viktor is the winner for best use of that material. His purple cocktail dress was AMAZING. He dyed and manipulated that "fabric" to the point that you couldn't tell what it was. My boy, Bryce, on the other hand bombed with his flouncy, blue princess two-piece. As Heidi said, and I would agree, "I want to pee all over those wee-wee pads."

50 pounds will be my public legacy

2011-08-03T06:24:00.000-07:00

Besides the word "bravery" -- which women throw at me a lot, shocked I would be so bold as to write about weight loss publicly -- there's one word that meant the most to me during the past seven months: honesty.

I truly believe that the reason so many people have followed my public weight-loss campaign since New Year's Day is because I didn't hide my struggle -- I showcased it. I don't want to read articles written by women who have it all figured out, who say how easy it is to lose weight on such-and-such a program, or who say, "If I can do it, you can do it." That only makes people believe there's some kind of secret to learn, and when they do, they'll be thin in no time.

And so the last thing I wanted to do was pretend that losing weight is something I somehow 'figured out' in a few months time. The truth is, I still struggle with it every day.

This is my final column for a while. (Seven months seemed like long enough to talk about the same thing over and over again.) So, it's natural to want to look back and share what I have learned. That's actually something I get from a lot of women: "Tell me what you're doing." "What am I doing wrong?" I even got, "Let me follow you in the buffet so I know what to eat."

People, you might not like this, but here goes ... I've learned that losing weight is a difficult balancing act. There is no one right way. And the only "secret" I've learned is the same statement nutritionists, dietitians, doctors and skinny trainers everywhere have been shouting to whoever will listen for decades: eat healthy and exercise to lose weight.

I know, I know. It's an awful thing to say to people who have struggled with every yo-yo diet imaginable. But it's the honest-to-God truth. The only way to lose weight is to decrease your calorie consumption, and it also helps create a calorie-deficit to exercise.

Trust me, I know that even though the statement is simple, the practice is not. I set a goal of 77 pounds lost in seven months, and I did not achieve it. I'm leaving you with a 50-pound loss, which is the same as two months ago. I'm not confused by this. I know why I haven't lost anymore. I eat too many calories.

But people don't realize how delicate the calorie balance can be. If my body needs 1,800 calories to break even for the day -- meaning that's the amount I need to maintain my weight, given my activity level -- then it's very easy to go over that amount, especially if you're trying to eat enough to lose weight at a healthy speed.

Let's say I make it to 6 p.m. with a 1,500-calorie total for the day. One big bowl of cereal, one beer, one bad snack can push me over the edge of my "break-even" calorie total, resulting in a small gain. I think there's a stereotype out there that people who are overweight are constantly snacking, when, in reality, they may just be consuming slightly more than what is needed to break even.

Regardless, I didn't make 77. And I'm extremely proud of the fact that I am OK with that. Before this journey, and even in the middle of it, I would have felt terrible, like I'd let myself and all of you down. But now, in a way, I think it's one of the best ways I could have ended my public journey.

This should very much still come across as a struggle, because it always will be. As my former trainer once told me, she's in incredible shape, and she still writes down her calories every single day. She always will have to. And so will I.

In a strange way, I'm glad this journey didn't end with me reaching my goal weight quickly and saying the dreaded words, "If I can do it, so can you." Because, you know what? I would have gained it back and alienated my readers who are struggling with weight loss in the process.

I couldn't think of more wise words to end on than those recently written to me by a reader. I hope those of you who have lost weight and struggled right along with me can take these words in, too.

"You can't force it, or it won't last. The fact that you've maintained a 50-pound loss for months now means that you've learned to balance, and that is a big deal. Keep learning, enjoy your body the way it is now, and when you are ready, push forward. Until then, focus on maintaining what you've accomplished and celebrating that."

Good plan.

'What grown-up wants to wear a bib?'

2011-07-29T07:10:00.000-07:00

Lol! The judges' commentary are always my favorite part of "Project Runway," and as season 9 kicked off Thursday night, they did not disappoint! Heidi was responsible for the snarky remark in the headline, and I loved Michael Kors' follow-up: "She's wearing like a Flintstone disco pouch." Ha!!!

These comments were directed toward Rafael, who was sort of the first to be auf'd. (I'll get more to that later.) Honestly, it was a three-way tie for me as to who should pack up their tacky clothes and roll that suitcase right on out of Manhattan.

First, let's talk about the challenge. The 16 designers were woken out of a peaceful slumber and told to travel down to the studio in their pj's carrying their white bed sheets with them. They had to design a garment for a female with their pajama fabric and sheets, given closures (buttons and zippers, etc.) and dye to change the fabric color. I LOVED this challenge. So fun! But I was TOTALLY grossed out by some of the fabric being used. The old guy, Bert, literally took off his peach checkered boxes and incorporated it into a cocktail dress. Forgive me, but there are prime areas of that fabric I hope weren't touching that poor model in any way. HOLY UNSANITARY, BATMAN.

So, who sucked ...

Rafael, for SURE. I think it was Michael who said it looked like the model put on the grey, skin-tight pants and white blouse and then had too big of a meal, so she was popping out of the whole ensemble. Just the weirdest, most ill-fitting, crotch-hugging pants I've ever seen. And the bib they were referring to was a nasty, leopard print head scarf that he fashioned into a "necklace." It was a bib.

Despite the fact that the judges picked him to WIN the challenge, I hated Bert's cocktail dress. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't get over the underwear-hanging-off-this-poor-girl's-boob aspect. But I thought it looked all weird and twisty and amiss. Kind of just hung on her, all willy nilly. Honestly, when he was left on the stage to answer to the judges, I thought it would be bad news for Bert.

But Julie, who was in the bottom, presented the hottest mess of any garment in Runway history. Oh yeah, I went there. And I'm owning that statement! Oversized cargo pants that looked like they were inside out, with the droopiest butt and the saddest sickly grey color EVER. A hot pink cartoonish print on the tee, wrapped with a second bold, crazy color. How does sickly gray go with cartoon pink and yellow? Not only was it in poor taste, but it showed that she has no vision, poor construction abilities, and she works HORRIBLY under pressure. For me, it would have been Julie, and I would have gotten quite nasty about it as well.

Who's AWESOME ...

Ok, let's just pause for a moment and appreciate what Anya put forth last night. FREAKING AMAZEBALLS. This chick learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. The judges weren't even going to let her compete! Because they were afraid she couldn't handle all the sewing! Then, out of frickin' nowhere, she dyes fabric to a beautiful shade of grey and makes HER FIRST PAIR OF PANTS EVER from it. And they fit like every woman wishes her pants would fit. Did you see that tushy? WHAT TUSHY?! And she was able to make a beautiful, Asian inspired halter blouse out of silk. SILK! Who in the hell can sew silk? I'll tell you who: Anya, who just learned to sew FOUR MONTHS AGO. And she's gorgeous, too. And she's cool. Why do the pretty ones have to have it all? ...

There were three surprises for me. ...

1. Cecelia did very well -- that was a surprise. There was a casting special that started the show where four designers were eliminated out of a batch of 20. (What a waste of time. I don't need to see who they DIDN'T WANT. Just get to the challenge already, am I right?) Cecelia was on the cusp of being auf'd. But she made it through, and her outfit was actually really cute. Tangerine skirt. Well-constructed, bodice-esque top. I liked it. Except for the slip up near the butt crevice. Didn't like that.

2. One of my favorites from casting videos on the website was Serena. I would have worn any of her clothes. Gorgeous! And she didn't make it through to the 16 final designers. Sad.

3. One of my top favorites, Olivier, didn't make it into the top. He was just in the middle. And I was surprised at the lackluster quality of his garment. It was a drab color. Neutral. Nothing special. A skirt and a top. But, I don't know, I'm sticking with him, I think. He's cute. Funny.

So here are my picks for people who will do quite well ...

Anya and Olivier. I have a good feeling. Oh, I also loved Bryce! Here was his outfit.
Now tell me who you liked!

Until next week ... Auf Wiedersehen!

One great song, one sad life

2011-07-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

I wasn't an Amy Winehouse fan. But I thought her one hit single was pretty good, if not a blatant cry for help that was answered with Grammy nominations instead of interventions. But then, I'm sure her family and friends tried to get her help. If I've learned anything from TLC's "Intervention" it's that you can't force an addict to get clean. They have to want it.

No cause of death has been determined just yet. But I'm sure we all have an idea. And it made me think about the 27 Club. Winehouse just joined it today. Hopefully she won't be listed in the same breath as Joplin, Morrison or Cobain. But her age, occupational choice and modicum of fame will surely mean she'll make the roster.

Unfamiliar with the 27 club? Read here.

Here's an article on Winehouse's death, too.

Good (and bad) nutrition begins in youth

2011-07-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was at the bar for a ladies gathering several months ago. And as women tend to do, the conversation got deep rather quickly. Before I knew it, my childhood was being examined.

My three lovely barmates simply had to get to the bottom of why I have yo-yo and crash dieted since adolescence. It always goes back to youth, these things, or at least that’s what Psych 101 has taught me.

As cynical as I am about blaming one’s childhood on problems in adulthood -- problems that an adult mind should have the capability to recognize, understand and work to remedy -- I found myself surprised by the insight these women gained so quickly. They traced the problem back to sixth grade, and I was pretty shocked that I hadn’t looked back to examine that year before.

I knew that age 11 is when I first became conscious of my weight. That’s the first time I beat myself about it. But I hadn’t realized my familial circumstances had a lot to do with the problem, as well as the reason it got worse.

My parents divorced the summer before my sixth-grade year, when we lived on an Air Force base in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. We were poor. In fact, my uncle had to come up and help pay for a U-Haul to get my mom, my sister and me back to Fairmont, where my mom grew up.

When we got settled into income-based housing in Fairmont, my mom started working two jobs. Through my high school years, she worked 60-80 hours a week. So, at 11, it was just me and my sister at home. We had to get our homework done without prodding. We had to keep the house clean. And we had to prepare meals for ourselves.

When you are 11, you don’t think about nutrition when you’re cooking. So that’s when Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, chips, sugary granola bars, Little Debbies, ice cream and Fruit Loops became staple meals. When we wanted to snack, whether it was right after dinner or before bed or constantly throughout the night, then we did.

What I was careful to point out to my bar companions was that I in no way blame my mom for not being around. In fact, I feel the opposite way about it. I can’t imagine a more giving woman, to work from sun up to sun down so that my sister and I had what we needed. If that were me, I don’t know if I could do it. And she never complained. Not once did I ever hear her say that her feet hurt from waitressing or that she was tired.

I think about a time once when we went on a spur-of-the-moment trip to Owatonna to outlet shop on her day off. She brought all of her tips with her, and when I found a pair of Nikes I couldn’t live without, she counted out one-dollar bills and quarters to pay for them. I remember how embarrassed I was. I walked outside as she lined the stacks of quarters on the counter, with annoyed customers behind her.

I wish I could go back to that moment sometimes and wrap my arms around her and tell her how grateful I was to have those shoes.

But, I digress. My point is that, while it wasn’t my mom’s fault (if she had her way, she would have been home every night making me eat my peas), I had no one to teach me about nutrition. No one to make me eat my vegetables and limit my snacks. I ate what I wanted when I wanted, and that mentality has stuck with me well into adulthood. Since 11, if I wanted to have ice cream for dinner, I did.

As I said, an adult mind has the capability to recognize and begin remedying these self-destructive patterns. But it’s certainly important to look back and examine their roots.

I can’t promise that I’ll never eat ice cream for dinner again. But I will more frequently force myself to eat my vegetables. Tonight, in fact, in honor of my mom, I’ll eat my peas.

Two major Katotainment announcements

2011-07-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

I couldn't have timed this any better: As my public weight-loss battle comes to a close ... A NEW SEASON OF 'PROJECT RUNWAY' BEGINS!

I'm realizing a couple of things right now ... 1. I may just be the last person on Earth who gives a damn about "Project Runway." 2. My readership during my "Project Runway" blogging days was MUCH smaller than my readership of my public weight-loss battle.

However! ... of all the things I've written about, I still get people asking if I'll continue blogging about "Runway." The readership was smaller, but it was mighty. A small few, I'm proud to say, would log onto my blog the first thing on the morning following each episode to see if my thoughts corresponded with theirs. That's what blogging is all about!

Writing about my fight to be fit has been so fun and extremely cathartic. But it could only last so long. It could only be interesting to you for so long, as well. I think we've reached that point. I will, however, continue to check in from time to time with my progress. Maybe every month or so I'll update on how I'm doing. That keeps me accountable, and it will appease any lingering curiosity, hopefully. So it's a win-win!

In the meantime, though, the "Project Runway" blog will make its triumphant return!

So the two official announcements are thus:

1. The final regular "fight to be fit" blog post will take place Monday, Aug. 8, when I return from a week's vacation. My final (public) weight-loss total will be given. I'll lay out my plan for the future and perhaps set a final goal. And I'm sure I'll get all gushy and thank a million people for their support.

2. The "Project Runway" blogging, right here at Katotainment, kicks off July 29, the morning after the premiere of Season 9 of the show.

Be sure to check out this season's contestants and make your predictions before the premeire!

Socially mandated eating is tough to swallow

2011-07-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

I remember one day in sixth-grade health class with Mrs. Meschke, circa 1992, we were listing forms of recreation on the chalkboard.

After the typical walking and skateboarding and playing sports answers were taken, somebody raised his hand and said, "Eating." We all laughed. But Mrs. Meschke said, "No, that's very true. In America, eating is very much recreational."

I flashed to the TV dinners my sister and I had the night before in our living rooms, and I didn't quite get it.
Homogenized chicken nuggets in front of the tube didn't seem like a swingin' Thursday night to me.

Of course, years later, license in hand, I understood what she meant. A night's entertainment in Fairmont meant two things: driving around in cars with friends and boys, and, of course, consumption. Consumption of what, I'll leave
mostly to your imagination, but I will tell you that ice cream at the Dairy Freeze and fried foods at various area establishments were included.

As an early teen, it was fun to exist solely on French fries and gummy bears. But when my butt ballooned and it was time to deal with it, I really started to take notice of how important consumption is to social situations. It was almost mandatory, and it still is to this very day.

When a movie let out, for example, and a friend said, "Hey, let's go to Perkins and get something to eat." It
was not an acceptable answer to say, "I'll go with you and have a Diet Coke or something. I'm not hungry." She would get a pained expression on her face and say, "Oh ... well, I'm sure you can find SOMETHING you'll want to eat."

Then at the restaurant, when I ordered my Diet Coke and shut the menu, she said, "Really? Is that all you're
going to have? Well now I feel like a pig. Do you just want to go?"

I was puzzled. Why would what I put in my mouth or not put in my mouth have any bearing on her? What difference did it make if I joined her in a plate of fries and a chocolate malt at 11 at night?

It just mattered. It did. And many similar situations have come up in the 15 years that have followed, proving that if someone asks you to get something to eat with them, it is not an acceptable answer to say, "I'll go with you. But I'm not hungry." Because said person will then look crestfallen and say we can just skip it.

It's so odd that eating has to be a shared experience in a social situation. I feel like a toddler squirming in my chair trying to avoid getting nasty peas shoved in my mouth.

Parties, barbecues, picnics -- any event with a host, really -- it's the same story. If your gracious host sees that you have not partaken in the buffet they have so generously laid out for you, they almost look hurt. "Is there something wrong with the foods that I have so painstakingly prepared for you?" they ask without words. "Are you anorexic? Just rude? Do you think I can't cook? Because I can!"

I'm exaggerating. But there's a grain of truth there. And it will befuddle me for as long as I live, or at least as
long as I diet. So, friends, hit me up in 50 years or so for that 11 p.m. trip to Perkins. Maybe by then I won't care about calories.

Impulsiveness and dieting don't mix

2011-07-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

According to the deadline I've set for the end of my public weight-loss battle -- which is the first week of August, as you may recall -- the clock is practically ticking in the back of my brain at all times.

As I sit down to write this column, it's exactly one month until the finish line (publicly, anyway). Exactly 31 days to go. This is one of five columns left to be written in this space about my journey.

In reality, these numbers are arbitrary. Just a measurement of the passage of time. But it's funny how much pressure one puts on herself to achieve something within a given parameter. I guess it's that basic human need for order.
Regardless, the ticking clock has brought with it reflection, of course. I was thinking about why this whole process is such a battle for me to stay on task. Why it’s often such a battle for all of us.

It's not that we don't have the information. We certainly do. Eat X amount of calories. Do X amount of exercise. Do eat this. Don't eat that. Voila! You'll be fit as a fiddle in no time.

Psha right.

Here's why it's so hard for me:
One afternoon four years ago, I thought, "I wonder if I should be spending rent money on a mortgage?" The next day I had left a bank with a preapproval for an obscene amount of money to buy a house. A month later, I moved into one.
Four weeks after that, I thought, "It would be so fun to have a puppy!" The next morning I was driving to the humane society in Fairmont to pick up my Lab-husky mix, Squishy.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I thought, "I wish I had a new couch." An hour later, I had a leather couch and two La-Z-Boy recliners ordered from Slumberland.

Catch my drift? One of the qualities I enjoy about my personality is also one that gets me into pickles. I'm quite impulsive.

It makes me buy a 12-foot backyard pool that I swim in twice, get tired of maintaining and then sell for half of what I paid for it. It makes me paint my kitchen yellow and then blue and then wonder if I should have stuck with yellow.

And it makes me think, "Oooooh, cotton candy ice cream. I'll cut calories tomorrow." Or, "Who can watch a movie without popcorn? No one would begrudge me that."

It's fun to live my life with instant gratification as the daily goal. It's a blast to have fun ideas pop into my mind and then act on them without much concern about recourse.

But that kind of mentality is just absolutely brutal to combat when trying to lose weight. Absolutely everything about dieting goes against my nature. The whole process is about delayed gratification. What I do for months and months will reward me later on. Laaaame.

So, given all of this, I think I'm doing pretty OK. Every day I'm winning these little battles in my mind, fighting against the urge to drink a Summer Shandy on a sunny patio somewhere, or sit on the front porch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and watch the sun go down.

I will say, though, that sounds like a lot more fun than I've been having.

But, the healthier I am, the longer I'll live, and the more time I'll have to sneak in the occasional splurge on popcorn and cotton candy ice cream. And painting my kitchen yellow. And then blue again.

Pickle on a stick, anyone?

2011-06-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

Entertaining is no easy feat when you¹re watching what you eat, and I¹ve failed miserably at doing it the healthy way at previous gatherings.

I¹ve wondered the past few months why cubes of cheese and bowls of chips are the go-to party items. With all the foods on the planet to choose from, that¹s the best we can do for our guests?

The ease of snacking is the main quality party food items must possess. You have to be able to move through the food line quickly, easily and efficiently, and you have to be able to eat said items in various uncomfortable states: leaning against a wall, sitting on the edge of a couch arm, and sitting cross-legged on a patch of carpet. This Fourth of July, on one of the funnest party days of the year, I¹m declaring that it is entirely possible to offer your guests finger foods that are delicious AND nutritious! Believe it.

Here are a few of my favorite ideas.

1. The Toothpick Tray. All foods on toothpicks are hits. Cut lean deli meats in slits, spread on gourmet mustard or fat-free Miracle Whip, roll them up, and stick them with toothpicks. Or how about olives on toothpicks? Or baby dills? Or little shrimps? Go crazy. But think healthy. No cheese!

2. The Veggie Tray. Yeah, I know, every party has a vegetable tray with dip. That¹s because it¹s super easy to pick up those little carrots and dunk them in blue cheese at parties. But get creative with it. Think outside the veggie box. Try adding more exotic vegetables, such as roasted spears of red and yellow peppers, pea pods, fresh mushrooms and asparagus. And ditch the fatty sauces. Put out fat-free Ranch and your guests won¹t know the difference.

3. To appease the sweeter side of your guests¹ palate, cut strawberries in half, put a dollop of fat-free Cool Whip on each half, and top with a single pecan. It¹s a finger food that¹s cute, sweet, has a bit of crunch and only contains about 10 calories.

4. If you¹re going to do chips and dip, make it whole grain chips and salsa. And I love the idea of portioning out one serving size of chips into individual bags so your guests can pick up a bag easily and not overdo it on calories.

For the salsa, instead of store-bought, which can be loaded with sodium, here is one of my favorite recipes for plum salsa. You can also make peach salsa by substituting peaches for the plums and lemon juice for the lime juice.

Plum Salsa
6 medium plums, pitted and diced
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped
1/3 cup finely chopped cilantro
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh mint
1/2 jalapeño pepper, minced Juice of
1/2 lime Salt to taste Sugar (or Splenda) to taste
Basically, you just mix up all the ingredients except the salt and sugar. Add those a bit at a time to taste.

Remember, foods can be fun without the fat. Have a great Fourth of July!

Kayla Jackson to appear on 'Pregnant' finale

2011-06-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

Just a heads up that the season finale "reunion" show of "16 and Pregnant" is 9 p.m. Tuesday (6-28) on MTV.

The preview has included tape of Kayla Jackson in tears and it sounded like they were prompted by questions about her relationship with her former boyfriend. The always dashing Dr. Drew will host.

Jackson of Winthrop was a Mankato West student when she got pregnant and was filmed, mostly in Mankato, for the show. Her episode aired a few weeks ago on MTV and has been rerunning recently leading up to the finale.

I wish I could spend the next 40 days in a bubble

2011-06-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of a mess emotionally right now, and I admit to wanting the whole world to forget about my fit-fight.

Bubble boy had it better than he thought. I was thinking this morning how awesome it would be to be protected from prying eyes (and commentary) for the last leg of my journey. Kind of like on "The Biggest Loser" when they go home for a long chunk and get to finish it out sans public scrutiny. If only, if only ...

I don't regret my decision to lose weight publicly. Without my trainer and this blog, I doubt I would have lost 50 ell-bees. There just have been way too many excuses in the past to not get started. I didn't trust myself.

But I do admit that it's been wearing me down lately, especially since I've pretty much sucked the better part of two months now. It's a constant game of stop and go, and it's done quite a number on my self-esteem.

This morning I laid in bed trying to muster the drive to make it to my 7:50 a.m. appointment (non-work related). Instead, I thought, "With 40 days left of your public weight-loss campaign, you'd better get your priorities in order." So, without any drive or inspiration or motivation whatsoever, I skipped my appointment and went to the gym.

Honestly, I have no idea what fueled my hour-long workout this morning. Maybe just the realization that this journey isn't just my own. So very many people are watching. So it's time to just shut up, and to borrow a very successful marketing campaign slogan, just do it.

So there it is. Feeling blue. Feeling uninspired. But every damn day for the next 40 days until the month 7 mark, I will go to the gym. No excuses.

And because enclosing myself in a plastic bubble isn't an option, take it easy on me, if you would. Let's talk about something else when I see you.

I'm the reason Taylor Call thinks she's fat

2011-06-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

Taylor Call is an adorable 6-year-old from Houston. I saw her on “Good Morning America” this morning saying on camera that she thinks her tummy is too big. She hadn’t realized that until one of her pre-kindergarten classmates told her she was fat.

I thought 11 years old was young to have body issues. That’s when I first decided I wasn’t as pretty or as thin as my fellow fifth-grade girls, who were all being asked to dance by boys at Chrissie Hauser’s birthday party and I wasn’t.

Six years old. ... A panel of 6-year-olds were asked by “GMA” if Taylor needed to lose weight. They said she didn’t, albeit prompted in a sympathetic tone by the reporter. But when shown a photo of four other very young girls, they immediately pointed out the one who was slightly larger than the others, and one said: “Yeah, she needs to lose weight.” Another girl described her as being “really chubby wubby.”

I was horrified as I realized my eyes had been drawn to the larger girl, too, and whether I wanted to or not, I was judging her. A 7- or 8-year-old girl.

Weight obsession is an American tail as old as the state of Minnesota, with some historians saying fad diets began about 150 years ago. So none of this is news. But the level to which we’re focusing on it -- myself included -- makes me so sad when I think of girls like Taylor, whose self-image shouldn’t go beyond pretty ribbons around her pigtails.

It made me take a hard look at myself. How I’m perpetuating this.

In this whole weight-loss campaign, the word “health” has been much less of a concern than the word “thin.” Even my blog says at the top: For now this blog has been taken over by Amanda’s fight to be fit. She will be back with entertainment commentary when her tush is smaller.

My supporters are just as guilty. “How many sizes have you gone down?” “You look great; how much more weight do you want to lose?” “Your face looks so much thinner.”

At 45 pounds lost, my visceral fat level was in the healthy range. My risk for cardiovascular problems has practically diminished. I’m exercising almost every day, resulting in greatly increased strength and cardio stamina.

These aren’t things I get excited about. I’m concerned about getting back into my skinny jeans. I fixate on organizing my closet into sections: clothes I can wear, and clothes I still have to lose more weight to get into.

I write about these things. I publish them. People read them. And in a way, I reinforce the bars of the mental prison most women (and men, too) have been in since their teens.

The trouble is, I don’t know how to stop thinking this way. Tens of thousands of public images and messages per week reinforce the idea that I should be a size 4, and it makes me less attractive and less important that I am not. I don’t know how to convince myself this isn’t true.

These thoughts are with me in one form or another dozens of times per day, when I scoop out some of the cereal I pour into my bowl to save calories, when I look at my outfit from the side to see if any unflattering puffy areas emerge, when I keep my eyes on the sidewalk while passing a guy to avoid seeing disapproval on his face.

It’s too late for me. Sounds dramatic, but it’s true. I will never get out of this mental prison of body issues. I will always want to be thinner, rather than healthier.

But I wish the same wasn’t true for Taylor. For feeding into all of the demons above, I feel responsible that at 6 years old, she doesn’t like herself. It’s my fault she thinks she’s fat, just as much as it is yours.

Taylor, you are healthy and beautiful. And I’m sorry we made you think otherwise.

Ha! This is great ...

2011-06-18T12:59:00.000-07:00

We ran this column in today's paper. It's so funny, and SO TRUE ...

What’s a few pounds among friends? Women obsessed with their weight

“A woman would never do that,” I said to my daughter.

“Certainly not,” she answered.

Her husband had just stepped on a scale to weigh himself. It was 8 o’clock at night. He had just eaten a full meal. He was fully clothed, pants, shirt, heavy shoes, a belt, and was holding one of their 9-month-old twins.

He stepped on the scale, waited for it to register, stepped off and announced his weight to the room. Only a man would do that.

A woman weighs herself in the morning, not the evening. A woman weighs herself before she eats, not after. A woman also weighs herself before she showers — water droplets add pounds.

A woman doesn’t broadcast the weight a scale gives her because a woman doesn’t accept the weight a scale gives her. She argues with it: Is this thing on an incline or what? It was that ham sandwich; ham makes me retain water. I wonder if I have that disorder where people crawl out of bed and eat in the night? It’s all these hair products weighing me down.

No woman believes the scale at the doctor’s office either. Every last one of them weighs heavy. It’s a conspiracy that Oliver Stone should look into. I know a woman who turns her back to the scale when she is weighed at the doctor’s office and asks the nurse not to say her weight aloud. It’s a good weight, but she’d rather not know.

There is a line of diets that advocate eating like our early, early ancestors. They are referring to the ancestors that crouched when they walked.

These were apparently our ancestors that had a good BMI, but extremely poor posture.

The big idea is to only eat foods that you can catch, kill or pick.

Talk about a win-win. If we began eating the same way our early ancestors did, we could lose the stoves and refrigerators. We could just dangle slabs of meat on a stick over an open flame and eat berries right off the bushes. Food prep and kitchen clean-up would disappear. The average woman would gain an extra 20 hours a week with the catch-kill-pick plan. One of the early ancestor diet advocates also advises short spurts of intense exercise, “as if running after wild game or doing heavy lifting.”

The guide says: “ Squeeze your wife and slowly lift her off the floor.” Burning calories and renewing romance all at the same time. Great. But who is the wife supposed to lift off the floor?

The early ancestor diet operates on the same principle they all do: if it tastes good spit it out. I always liked my mother’s attitude toward dieting. “There’s nothing like Slim-Fast with a scoop of ice cream.”

If you take the early ancestor diet seriously, we would all be in the woods hunting or at the river fishing for so long that there wouldn’t be any time for eating.

Fewer calories and less time in the kitchen.

What more could you ask for?

OK, besides a scale that weighs light.

Lori Borgman is a columnist, author and speaker. Contact her at loriloriborgman.com.

The 77 in 7 Calendar ... 50 days left

2011-06-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

50 days left ...
I made a calendar for exactly the next 50 days, which takes me to the first day of August, where I will track my progress until I hit my goal. I put it on the blackboard right by the fridge. Tactical move.

77 in 7 ... let's do this!

Back in the saddle again

2011-06-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, folks! It's been a while. I hope you are all well!

I'm back at it. I had a nice, long break from work and it's good to be back, for more reasons than one. The reason that pertains to this blog in its current state? STRUCTURE. Routine and structure are a dieter's best friend.

I did OK. I'd give myself a B-/C+ for my efforts while on vacation. Wisconsin was tough. There were cupcakes and blueberry coffee cakes and chocolate-strawberry desserts. There was pizza. There was wine. There was cheese (Wisconsin cheese!). There was barbecue. Something about being away from home makes a couple of girls on the road go buck wild.

When I got home last week, I did much better for a couple of days. But then I had a party Saturday celebrating my house's 130th birthday. (More of an excuse to gather and drink, really.) So then, again, there was wine, there was cheese, there were cookies.

The bad things have left the house, except for huge amounts of leftover wine and Summer Shandy. But I usually don't have any trouble staying away from those unless there's a social/group atmosphere.

So, like I said, I'm back at it. 77 pounds, here I come. I'm really, really going to start pushing hard to get there. The goal is the end of July to hit it. Maybe even sooner? We shall see ...

Fitty is back! In full effect! Raise the roof!

2011-06-01T09:12:00.000-07:00

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was watching “Regis & Kelly” one morning, and Kelly was pointing out how women, when they see they’ve gained weight on the scale, their reaction is exactly the opposite of what one might expect. Logically, you see you’ve gained 2 to 5 pounds, what would you do? Work your butt off to lose the weight, right? Yeah, no.

A woman sees she’s gained 2-5 pounds and it’s an emotional punch to the gut, and her reaction is to say, “Well, I might as well just eat the rest of that fudgey cake in the fridge ... with some ice cream ... and Reese’s Pieces later on ... and then something salty to cut the sweetness.” It’s crazy! But I, like many women, am an emotional eater. So I get trapped in that vicious circle of getting sad or mad and eating.

What does any of this have to do with the “Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” from above?

Wellll ... as you may recall, I essentially, inadvertently took the entire month of May off by eating bad stuff and then recovering for a couple of days. It resulted in a net gain of 5 pounds for the first big part of the month. But, the past week or more, I’ve really been working hard to get back on track.

And ... THIS MORNING AT THE GYM THE RESULTS WERE: A TOTAL LOSS OF 51 POUNDS!

I lost the 5 I had gained plus one more. I really can’t feel bad about that. Sure, I mean, month 5 was essentially a wasted effort. But it could have been worse. And being still three days from the official month 5 mark, I could be down another 2 or 3 pounds, AND ending a month with ANY loss is good news.

So! Here’s the cliffhanger. I’m outta here until the 13th. I’m on vacation with my sister. Instead of New York, we’re going to visit our old man in Wisconsin. So, I probably will not blog until then, which is in two weeks. Two weeks that can either go fabulously, where I report to you I have lost and additional 10 pounds on my way to my overall goal of 77. ...

Or, I could report to you I have spent a week camped out here, a delectable Madison, Wis., discovery my sister made that has me mentally testing my own will power already. We shall see ...

(By the way, the first photo up there is my shoe, which has a broken sole, after 5 months of working my tush off, quite literally. Strangely, I was kind of proud to see that this morning. I felt accomplished.)

Talk to you mid-June, folks!

Congratulations Alex Voigt! ...And what was I thinking?

2011-05-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, congratulations to Alex Voigt for his awesome time in the 10Kato! He ran the 10Ks in about the same time as my little team walked the 2Ms, so big props to Alex! I'm not sure of his time exactly or what number he placed, but ROUGHLY, it was about 39 minutes, I think. I know exact seconds are important to runners, so I mean it when I say roughly. I'm sure he will update everyone on his blog, so be sure and check it out.

As for me, well, I got up this morning ready to walk. "Two miles," I thought. "No biggie." So I showered. I put on jeans and a T-shirt. I put on makeup. Dried my hair. Just like I was going to run errands or out to lunch. I had three cups of coffee like usual. And I headed out to meet my walking buddies at Dickinson and Emerson for the big race.

File all of the above in the "What was I thinking?" category. ... Boy, that file is getting awfully big. ... Jeans? Makeup? Really?

The temperature was fine, but the humidity was pretty darn bad. By 1 mile, I was sweating AND I had to pee. (Three cups of coffee?) By the finish, I was a mess. A hose would have been lovely. And a bathroom.

Next year, I guess I'll know to show up in gym clothes and a ponytail. But either way, it was a good morning and all for a good cause, so congrats to all who walked or ran!

Stagnation Nation

2011-05-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

Month 5: Turning out to the be the month of bad choices and recovery and then more bad choices and then recovery. I feel destined to keep teetering between 45 and 50 pounds lost.

By June 3, the official month 5 mark, I think I'm going to be right at 50 again. Fifty was the weight I lost at the month 4 mark, as you may recall. Now, some people may look at that as maintaining. Who wouldn't want to say that after five months, they've maintained a 50-pound loss?

True. But I can't congratulate myself on the means with which I "maintained," which is to say: eat pizza and Cheetos, gain three pounds; eat super, super healthy and exercise like a madman, lose two pounds; eat pizza and ice cream, gain another three; eat super healthy, lose a couple more. That's not maintaining, is it? Seems more like a vicious cycle to me.

And you know what, people? I know better than that. So I'm not entirely sure why month five was such a disaster.

The drive seems to be missing here. The chutzpah. The fire. I need something. A boost of some kind.

Hey, remember that girl who was the biggest contestant on "Biggest Loser" and, at the end of her season, Subway decided to pay her $1,000 per pound that she lost by the next season's finale? I think her name was Shay. ... That'd do it! Hey, Subway: I will be your next poster gal if you give me some cashola for each pound I lose. I'm way cheaper than Shay, too. How does $100 per pound sound?

Can you imagine? I'd be sick frickin' thin in no time!

But, seriously, I gotta get back to bidness here. I've decided 77 pounds is my goal weight, for the purposes of this public weight-loss campain, that is. I've never been in super great shape before, so I have no idea what my weight will be when I'm all toned and stuff with visible muscles and all that. So I'm sure I'll have a bit more beyond 77 to lose. But I can only ask all of you to stick with this whole process for so long. Reading about it will only be interesting for so long. I know that. So 77 seems like a good number.

Why 77 and not 75, you ask? Could it be that my starting weight had a 7 or a 2 at the end??? Which would bring me down to an even 0 or 5 at the end of that goal weight number? Food for thought ...

P.S. I'm open to any and all ideas about how to reignite the flames of victory here. All of you weight-loss pros out there, how did you maintain your drive?

Readers abuzz about Mankato girl on '16 & Pregnant'

2011-05-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

Kayla Jackson, an 18-year-old former West High School student, went and got herself moderately famous Tuesday night, but feedback is certainly mixed as to whether that’s a good or bad thing.

Jackson of Winthrop was on an episode of MTV’s “16 and Pregnant,” which was taped mostly in the Mankato area last summer through part of the winter. She gave birth to her son, Preston, Nov. 4 in Mankato.

Each episode of the show focuses on a different girl and her unique struggle with teen pregnancy. Jackson’s episode focused primarily on recurring symptoms of anorexia, even going a day eating almost nothing while pregnant, resulting in a brief hospital stay. But mostly viewers are reacting to how her mother was portrayed on the show.

During the 90-minute episode, Jackson’s mother (who was also a teen mom) allows Jackson at 17 to live with her then boyfriend, Mike, in Jackson’s home while she spends most of her time with her own boyfriend an hour away. Her mother then starts charging Mike $300 rent, which he doesn’t earn as a teenager, so Jackson has to help pay it. That leaves them $60 to buy food and baby supplies.

When Jackson repeatedly complains about her mom’s lack of help with her pregnancy and later her baby, she’s met with little sympathy. Even the night Jackson’s water broke, her mom wouldn’t get out of bed, but rather told her she was probably still wet from being in the shower. Jackson and Mike drove to the hospital, and almost a full day later, she delivered by C-section.

Perhaps worst of all, after the baby was born, her mother asks her anorexic daughter if she would go on a diet with her.

Jackson now lives in Winthrop with her dad, whom at the start of the episode she said she hardly knew.

Jackson’s official fan Facebook page has been filled with comments denouncing her mother’s behavior on the episode. But many comments are positive.

Mandi Matz wrote, “Loved your episode!! I live in Mankato, too. If you ever need a babysitter, I have a profile on sittercity.com!!! :) Lol!! ... .”

Feedback on The Free Press Facebook page also has been mixed. Doug Mulville wrote, “Why would you promote this trash? This show basically rewards irresponsible decision making by teens. What a terrible joke journalism and entertainment have become.”

From Shelly Neville Berger: “I felt bad for how her mom acted last night. Her mom needs to grow up! But (I’m) also glad that she is with her dad and happy! Living in a small town is the best (way to go). Kayla, welcome to Winthrop.”

Mankato folks have been buzzing about the show for more than a year, calling and emailing The Free Press about where they saw the MTV camera crew when they were here. The Coffee Hag, Mayo Health Systems, Dino’s Pizzeria and Target were a few locations featured in the show.

Jackson herself has been mum to interview requests. Her mother e-mailed last summer to say her daughter wasn’t at liberty to discuss the show. That may have changed now that the episode has aired.

Here’s what I can glean from the fan page: Jackson plans to finish high school and graduate in June. She has plans to live on her own this summer and attend college in the fall or next spring. She and Preston’s dad are no longer together, but he is involved in Preston’s life. So far, Jackson appears to be OK with the attention. Ashley Brown posted the question: Do you think you will regret doing “16 & Pregnant” after seeing the negativity all the other girls have gotten? “No” was Jackson’s response.

Here’s when you can catch repeats of the episode: 11:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. today/Wednesday; 2:30 p.m. Thursday; 12:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Friday; 9 a.m. and 8:30 p.m. Saturday; 8:30 a.m. and 8 p.m. Sunday; and 7:30 p.m. Tuesday.

Mankato on MTV tonight

2011-05-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Folks -- especially those who have called and emailed me the last year with tips and secrets about where they spotted the MTV camera crew while they were here -- tonight's episode of "16 and Pregnant" is the one you've all been waiting for! It's Kayla Jackson's episode, the former Mankato West High School student who now lives in Winthrop with her dad and her son, Preston, born Nov. 4.

Plenty of Mankato area places and people will be on TV! How fun. Be sure to tune in at 9 p.m. on MTV. Otherwise, the episode repeats a billion times this week.

Here's some background if this is all news to you:

For almost a year I have been hearing buzz about MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” reality TV series. Kayla Jackson, 18, who gave birth to her son, Preston, when she was 17, is on the third season of the hit series, which kicked off weeks ago.

Already -- or, perhaps more accurately, still, after all these months -- people are talking about it. Dining at Dino’s in North Mankato one day, I overheard several people talking about how they might see the restaurant on the show because Jackson was filmed dining there last summer. In a class at Minnesota State University, I overheard three students talking about how they knew someone who might be seen in some of the footage. A woman even e-mailed me at one point saying Jackson’s pregnancy was part of a student pregnancy pact (untrue).

MTV, you clearly have our attention. Jackson herself, who moved to Winthrop to live with her dad, has been mum, perhaps due to a confidentiality agreement. Jackson’s mother e-mailed me last summer to say her daughter wasn’t at liberty to discuss the show. That may have changed, as she has a Kayla Jackson Official Fanpage on Facebook, which she and her sister and friend administer, where she interacts with people’s posts and has photos and biography information displayed. But so far, she hasn’t responded to interview requests.

Here’s what I can glean from the fanpage: Jackson is finishing high school and plans to graduate in June 2011. She has plans to live on her own this summer and attend college in the fall or next spring. She and Preston’s dad, who isn’t named, are not together, but he is involved in Preston’s life.

According to a couple of sneak peek videos and trailers, which can be viewed on the fan page or MTV’s “16 and Pregnant” web page, one angle the episode explores is Jackson’s battle with an eating disorder for which she was hospitalized at age 13. In one clip she’s lamenting to a friend about how she feels fat, to which her friend responds: “You’re not fat. You’re pregnant.”

So far, about 1,600 people have “liked” Jackson’s fan page, with more to come when her episode airs, I’m sure. She posted that she created the page because more than 50 people per day were trying to friend her on her private Facebook page.

But so far she appears to be OK with the attention. Ashley Brown posted the question: Do you think you will regret doing “16 & Pregnant” after seeing the negativity all the other girls have gotten? “No” was Jackson’s response.

Save the planet, shrink your tush

2011-05-19T08:37:00.000-07:00

The Mankato Area Bike and Walk Advocates couldn't have asked for a more perfect week for Bike and Walk to Work week. Can you believe this weather? I'm in heaven. If it never got colder than this and never rained again, I would be so frickin' blissful that I'd be giving random hugs to strangers and, you know what? I would like to buy the world a Coke!

I've been walking to work this week, and aside from weather issues, I can't imagine why I never did so before. I live really close. Just, maybe, 12-15 blocks away. Takes just 15 minutes.

It made me think of the article we ran on the Health & Fitness page on Monday about the Bike and Walk advocates. There was a quote about how people are creatures of habit, and because many of us habitually drive everywhere, it's difficult to change the behavior. I'm definitely a habitual driver. I drive everywhere. One day I caught myself driving to the gas station for a fountain pop (I love fountain pop). The gas station is three blocks away.

So, I think I'm going to try to make that change. Whenever it's not pouring or freezing, I'm walkin' to work. (I'd bike, too, but I haven't owned one since I was 16. I was out riding it when one of my high school classmates pulled up beside me at a stop sign in his sporty ride, pointed at me and laughed to his buddy. I've had a negative connotation to bikes ever since.) ...That was a strange aside.

Anyway, walking to work will provide an extra 180-calorie deficit to my day. Join me! Save the planet, shrink your tush.

Way to go, Fitty

2011-05-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

... Or should I say, “Formerly Fitty.”

This morning, I braved the scale at the Y. It was time. And, in the back of my mind, I think I knew what would happen. For the past couple of weeks, I have enjoyed myself. Too much. Losing 50 pounds felt really great. I was proud of my accomplishment, I felt good in my new clothes, and I went out A LOT to celebrate.

It’s funny, because, going into this weight-loss journey, I knew that was my MO. I knew that losing the weight was always the easiest part for me. Granted, I lost it through unhealthy means, but it always came off. And then, when I achieved a healthy weight and started feeling good about my appearance, I seemed to forget all the work it took to achieve that figure, and I started to “celebrate.”

In my world, “celebration” means consumption. I wish I wasn’t that way. I wish a “good time” didn’t mean sugar and margaritas and French fries and pizza. I wish it meant a walk on a gorgeous morning, or maybe window shopping at the mall, or a movie (without snacks).

But despite knowing full well that I was doing it again, I turned a blind eye, and I hit the bars and restaurants. Hard. The past week, I was seeing my behavior for what it really was.

Subtle cues started implanting lingering doubts in my brain. That little puffy area on my tummy came back. When I looked down in a tight shirt, there it was. The puff.

I also had avoided the scale for two weeks, which I realized when I didn’t have a new number to plug into MyFitnessPal.com so I could see my little ladybug on my ticker counter move a bit farther toward my goal-weight number.

That’s what really woke me up. When I start avoiding the scale, it’s because, subconsciously, I know it will be bad news, and rather than face that, I avoid it and say, “Before you get on the scale again, eat really, really good this week so it won’t be so bad when you do weigh-in.”

Denial. Bargaining. I knew it was time to face the music. I went to Step class this morning and had an awesome workout. (Despite the food and alcohol becoming a problem the last two weeks, my exercise is still very much in line.)

Then, I headed down to the locker room. Before I stepped on the scale, I sat down, took off my shoes, and I gave myself a little pep talk in my mind. “No matter what the scale says, you’ve got this. You’ll deal with it. Facing the truth is the first step.”

And then I stepped on.

Five pounds. I gained five pounds back.

My hope was that I had merely maintained, that I hadn’t lost anymore, but that I hadn’t done any real damage. The truth was harder to take.

But I truly do believe that this is the best thing that could have happened this morning. Had I stepped on that scale and maintained my 50-pound loss -- despite a two-week drinking and sugar binge -- it would have validated my behavior, and I likely would have kept going down the wrong path.

Gaining five back, well, let’s just say it woke me up, slapped me in the face, whatever cliche you want to use.

I didn’t cry. I didn’t get down on myself too much.

I went home. I showered. And I walked to work.

Spring Planting Day!!!

2011-05-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

Seven hours of yard work, purchasing flowers and planting flowers ... definitely counts as exercise. And it's so pretty!!!!!

Focus is tricky business

2011-05-14T07:23:00.000-07:00

I'm in an odd state of transition. A couple of posts ago I wrote about wanting to relax and stop obsessing so much about losing X number of pounds in X number of days.

Hmmm.

But doesn't a lack of focus cause a person to stagnate? I'm still exercising a lot. And I do eat pretty well most days. But I've been going out a LOT. And I'm not good about watching my calories in a social setting.

Take last night. I went to see my friend's band, Fish Frye, at Cedars Grille with my sister and a friend. Had a burger for dinner. No cheese. Didn't eat my fries. That's pretty good. But I had a glass of wine. Which lead to another, and then, yes folks, three more after that. During all of this wine drinking, my sister and I ordered a dessert to split. And the band gave us their bruscetta when it was time to take the stage. I'm not sure how many calories that totals, but I know for sure it's a lot more than my daily allowance.

So I'm sort of stuck right now. Maybe it's important to set goals so that you're likely to set boundaries in order to get there. It doesn't have to mean obsessing, but setting a weight-loss number I'd like to reach in a certain period of time gives me something to aim for.

So, here it is: In three weeks, at the five-month mark, I'd like to be down a total of 62 pounds.

Let's do this!

'Hit the showers, Rocky. Hit the showers.'

2011-05-11T13:39:00.000-07:00

It became official this morning: I once again OWN the Reebok step. I slay it. I crush it. It is mine.

Years ago, I went to Step class every day it was offered. In the morning, if I felt I didn’t get enough of a workout on the Step by an instructor who I didn’t particularly care for, then I went back to the 5:15 p.m. class the same day for a second go-round. Cardiovascularly, I was in damn good shape.

I haven’t been -- and I’m still not -- in the shape I was then. But once again, I feel confidant in saying, I am conditioned to a level where an hour in Step class doesn’t kill me. Still pushes me. Still tires me out. Still makes me sweat. But, folks, I got this.

Feels good! Feels really good to say that. I forgot how good it feels to be “conditioned.” There were two newbies in Step class this morning, both of whom were quite skinny, who were uncoordinated and tired out by break, and I could tell they sort of didn’t understand how hard it was to keep up. Here I am, a tush six sizes bigger than theirs, yet I was handling the class a lot better. Cardio stamina isn’t necessarily about size; it’s about “conditioning.”

But, anyway, as I was headed down the hallway to leave the Y, my pal Joe Tougas popped out of his office and said, “Hit the showers, Rocky. Hit the showers.” It’s funny because I kind of felt like Rocky after the stair-climbing scene. The only thing missing was the theme song.

In America, being social and eating go hand in hand

2011-05-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

American social engagements seem always to consist of two main components: talking about yourself in between mouthfuls of food or drink. The first aspect I obviously have no problem with. I do, after all, rush to this blog several days per week to spew forth my thoughts and goings-ons, fully believing you're all so extremely eager to hear all about it.

The latter aspect I'm having trouble with.

As spring has set in, I'm finding myself going to a lot more events. There have been family holidays, parties and other nights out with friends, and all seem to revolve around consumption of food and alcohol. I haven't been handling these situations very well. I go with the intention of just drinking water, or maybe having one glass of wine and sipping on it the whole night. But, at a certain point, I decide to just write the night off.

Do you know what I mean by that, fellow dieters? It's as if you all of a sudden throw your hands up and say, "Well, it's a party, I'll be extra good tomorrow." And then you stuff a cupcake in your mouth.

It's weird because, what difference does it make to anyone else at these gatherings if I put something in my mouth or not? Would anyone notice if I didn't eat or drink anything? Would I seem anti-social? I think, save for any events where my mom is included, I doubt anyone would care. Yet, there doesn't seem much point to go, in my own mind, if I'm not going to join everyone else in having a good time, and in our culture, that seems to include lots of calories.

So, I'm hoping for your thoughts on this. What do you do when you have a social event to attend where there will be lots of food and drinks? What do you tell yourself? Any mental tactics? My biggest problem is self-control in these situations, so any advice would be great. I'd hate to sit home all summer because I don't trust myself to go anywhere. Help!

Reminder to come walk with me at the 10Kato!!!

2011-05-07T15:44:00.000-07:00

Reminder to register for the 10Kato and come walk with me!!

Only a handful of people have joined my little walking team, so there's plenty of room left, not that we could run out of room, I guess. It is a public sidewalk, after all. ...Anyway ...

The 10Kato is Monday, May 30, and the start is at Dickinson and Emerson streets. Registration before May 13 is $17, it's $20 after May 13, and it's $25 the day of the race. There are brochures with registration forms to mail in at the Y, or go to this site and print out the form there.

E-mail me at adyslin@mankatofreepress.com if you want to join my team. I hope you do!

Do men suffer from blind confidence syndrome?

2011-05-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

There's a reason many hands of elementary school boys shoot into the air at twice the speed and frequency of girls when the teacher asks a question, regardless of whether they actually know the correct answer. Is it genetics that make boys more assertive and more confident than girls? Should we blame their mothers for treating them like little princes that, surely, the whole world should admire and look to for answers?

It's amazing to me the gall of some men, ready and more than willing to half listen to a conversation and loudly interrupt with an opinion in a tone that suggests there is no room for a counterpoint.

More amazing is the blind confidence when it comes to women. Take the Life Center at the Y, for example. Sometimes I feel terrible for the women employed there. Naturally, they are young and in great shape. They're all very pretty and sweet. And quite often, I'll see men sidle up to the front counter where one of them is folding towels and proceed to flirt. There's one guy in particular who is absolutely relentless. One day I was on an elliptical next to one of the Y employees who was there on her own time working out, and three or four guys -- older than her by at least 10 years -- interrupted her workout to come talk to her.

Imagine if it was a guy in his early 20s, working out on his own time. How many women who age him by at least 10 years would come and interrupt his workout to make fools of themselves? I'm betting not a single one. I never see women gathered around a male Y employee, saying ridiculous things and hoping he'll flirt back.

Must be nice to live life without shame. But, guys, just so you know, many of you are just wasting your time. Leave the pretty Y girls alone. Jeez.

Time to relaaaaax

2011-05-04T10:44:00.001-07:00

The time has come to relax. I'm feeling pretty good about where I am, health wise. Fifty pounds gone feels good. And I'm thinking it's time to just enjoy that and not worry so much about losing X number of pounds in X number of days.

I can honestly say I think the "lifestyle" has changed. Even without a trainer, I've been putting in at least five hours of exercise per week. I have many more good eating days than bad, but I don't stay totally away from bad foods. If I really want nachos, I have a few. If candy is all I can think about, I'll eat some Hot Tamales. No biggie. Because as long as I get up the next morning, have low-sugar oatmeal and go to the gym, it all evens out in the end.

So no more obsessing. Weight will come off slower with this attitude, sure. But who says that's a bad thing when you're happy with where you are now? Any progress is good, and not feeling so consumed by the journey will feel even better.

I'll still have lots of junk to write about, though, so stay tuned!

Sorry, folks, I'm not a runner

2011-05-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

I'm convinced that southern Minnesotans are addicted to running and they're eager to hook others, kind of like heroin dealers hoping to build a clientele by offering free samples. I've received so many offers for weekend running partners, 5K trainers and marathon-training buddies that I'm running out of humorous/polite ways to say, "Have you met my butt? Because it's not ready to move that quickly."

Even if I was tiny, I cannot imagine having the desire to run. I often wonder what these people are getting out of it. Must be good, considering they hit the streets at least several days a week and post status updates on Facebook about whatever hill they conquered and how many miles they did in however many minutes. I've heard about "runner's high," which I'm sure must feel good to these people. Maybe that's the secret to the addiction.

But you know what feels good to me? Recliner's high. Or at least An-hour-of-exercise-that-doesn't-take-me-miles-away-so-I-can-easily-quit-when-I'm-tired high.

It's not that I don't appreciate the kind offers to turn me into a runner, which clearly many people hold in high regard around here. But it's just not something I want to do. The funniest part is being honest with said runners and saying these exact words. I get a sense that some of them don't understand me, like saying "I have no desire to run" sounds as strange to them as someone saying to me, "I don't like sweets."

To each her own, I guess. (And, yes, I have heard of couch to 5K programs, and, no, that doesn't change anything. You are a persuasive bunch!)

I hope bin Laden feared for his soul

2011-05-01T20:19:00.001-07:00

Ten years ago, I was in college, commuting from my mom's house in Fairmont to MSU every day. Some days I would get home at 2 or 3 in the morning, having driven an hour from school (working at The Reporter), and have to get up the next morning at 8 or 9 to get back to school.

So, on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001, I was sleeping when the first plane hit the tower. My sister knocked on my bedroom door and said, "Amanda, something big is happening. You should turn on the TV." I was 20. My sister was 17. She had absolutely no credibility in my mind. So I yelled something about how she should know how late I'm up, and she should keep quiet.

It nagged at me, though, and I couldn't sleep. So I turned on the TV in my room just in time to see the second plane hit the tower.

I remember not fully getting it. Not understanding what I was seeing. Not understanding why the NBC anchor lost his composure. Were we at war? Was I in danger in Fairmont, Minnesota? How many people worked in those buildings? How many deaths was I witnessing?

Later that day, my best friend, Sara, came over and we started to piece the puzzle together, spouting our theories about the tragedy and what would happen next. Studying the news coverage and letting it sink in that we were sharing in a very important, solemn moment in our country's history. Still not understanding what would cause someone to commit such a horrible act.

In the years that followed, the 9/11 wound scarred over. I say that with ease. I didn't know anyone involved in the tragedy. I was only affected in the way the majority of Americans were, peripherally, in the way that we embraced nationalism and identified ourselves as Americans on a united front against our enemies.

But it wasn't until tonight that I felt a sense of closure. Until now, it has felt like the murderer of 3,000 Americans has been allowed to go free, arrogantly releasing videos and threatening further attacks.

I do not believe in the death penalty. Usually I equate eye-for-an-eye punishment to barbarism. But, tonight, I'm glad Osama bin Laden is dead. I hope he suffered. I hope he prayed for his life. I hope he thought about the horrendous acts he committed and questioned his motives, feared for his soul. I hope he believed at the moment of his death that he would not be forgiven, that he would burn. And I hope his fears came true.

But, mostly, my heart swells for the family of the 9/11 victims. My thoughts go out to you, and even though this doesn't bring your loved ones back, I hope you, too, feel a sense of closure.

The mighty hunter is back

2011-04-30T14:20:00.001-07:00

There is a short window of time when walking my dog, Squishy, is actually fun. When the temperatures warm enough for the snow to melt, there's a good couple of weeks in there before little critters begin to stir, and the Squish and I can take to the streets and enjoy a nice walk together.

That time is over now.

The Squish is a slow, chubby, sweet, stupid lab-husky mix. She's got a goofy smile, she's great with kids and she's afraid of absolutely everthing, including, but not limited to: rustling plastic bags, the act of putting my laptop on my lap, adolescent boys, sunglasses, hats, and balloons being blown up.

This is why it is absolutely dumbfounding what happens to her in late spring: She becomes a cold-blooded killer. Last summer, she killed and ate five bunnies that made their way into my fenced-in backyard. One day, I walked into the dining room and there she was, laying down with the decapitated head of a rabbit between her paws, gnawing away on one of its ears. I thought I would faint.

So, on our walks this time of year, I have to be ever vigilent to make sure I see the bunnies or squirrels or birds first so I can steel myself and prepare for her to lunge forward with her full fat/strength and just about rip my arm off.

It's not the live animals that are the most bothersome, however. Luckily, when she sees a live creature, she tends to pause for about three seconds before she lunges. With dead critters, there is no pause. She turns into a gator and snaps them up instantaneously. Sometimes, she's so fast, I don't even know she has one in her mouth.

Like today, in the middle of our hour-long walk, I looked down, and she had the deadest, flattest squirrel hanging out either side of her mouth.

I can't even explain to you the rush of adrenaline and terror I feel when I have to deal with a situation like this. Today, I grabbed a stick and tried poking at her jaws to see if she'd open up and drop it. Didn't work. I had to take an empty plastic bag and pull on the dead head of the corpse until I finally won the tug of war. After years of playing tug of war with her with stuffed animals, she always thinks it's a game, so she growls and pulls. ... It was awful.

When it was taken care of, I was shaking from head to toe. I could still feel it's little claws against my palm with only a thin sheath of plastic between it and my hands. And the Squish was looking up at me with a sort of joie de vivre, anxious to sniff out the next dead thing to snap up.

Outdoor exercise just got more interesting.

C-H-A-M-P-I-O-N-!-!-!-!-!

2011-04-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

And the winner of the first-annual Battle of the Blogs is ...
KATOTAINMENT!!! Winning with 2,695 hits over PucKato's 2,031 hits, which is a pretty healthy win, I must say. 664 hits? A 24 percent margin of victory? PucKato got schooled!

This is so unexpected ... I didn't even have a speech prepared. I'd just like to thank all of you!
You did it, dear readers. You have crowned me blog champion of the last week in April 2011. What significance does that have? Very little, if any at all. But it feels GREAT!

Shane Frederick's hockey blog, PucKato, has blown us all away here in the newsroom for a very long time. But as my "fight to be fit" has gained popularity, I started creeping up on my dear cubicle neighbor, and I had to see, if just for one week, I could take Goliath down. Victory is SWEET.

Something Shane has reminded me of this week: It's not hockey season. During hockey season, he would have won by a wide margin. True. The first week in February, PucKato had 3,228 hits, which would have beat my blog at its best week by 530 hits. But he also mentioned that he posted the MSU season schedule this week, which he said would result in numerous hits.

As a grassroots little operation here, gaining steady readership without a big, huge, popular sports team to write about -- just a girl and the battle against her tush -- I'm feeling on top of the world! Wahooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

50 is my new favorite number!

2011-04-29T07:45:00.001-07:00

Fifty pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahoooo!!! YayYayYayYayYay!!!!

This morning after 1/2 of a Step class and half an hour on the bike, I braved the scale in the locker room. I had to know. Was Monday's failure a fluke? Was it just water retention? A bad scale reading? Did I do enough this week to ensure victory by the end of the month?

Indeed! It was actually teetering ever so slightly between 49 3/4 and 50, but I'm calling it, folks. Fifty is here!

I had a feeling something was funny about Monday. You can't go from a 48 loss back down to 45 in two days, can you? I would had to have eaten thousands of calories. And I didn't! I swear, every time I step on a scale I get a different reading. ... So you may be thinking, "Well, how do you know if today's was the accurate one, then?" Well, friends, it's a straight-up fact that the lowest reading is always the right one. I mean, that's just a given.

Bad news now, though. These weight-loss numbers are starting to get embarrassingly high. Which is a good thing, but with any luck, the number will only get more and more embarrassing. I'm not sure how many more hard numbers I'll be willing to share. But there will be other ways to keep y'all updated on my progress. So don't go away.

Woo hoo!

Did we do it? Did we beat PucKato?

2011-04-29T05:25:00.000-07:00

Today's the day!! One week ago, I launched a campaign to get more hits than PucKato. Shane Frederick's hockey blog about the Mavvies has traditionally been the most popular among readers of Free Press blogs.

However, thanks to all of you, he has a rival! ... ME! Wahoooooooo!!!!

So stay tuned ... Did this little blog that could take down Goliath just for one week? FIND OUT LATER TODAY!

Lonely circuit training and the race to 50

2011-04-28T07:01:00.000-07:00

This morning was really the first time that I did circuit training without Jackie. It was weird! I can honestly say I did all the reps and sets that I set out to do, and I didn't decrease weight just because she wasn't there watching.

...I did, however, wuss out on cardio. There was no cardio onslaught between circuits, such as, but not limited to, burpees, mountain-climbers and THE STOOL. I noticed that the lack of those exercises made the hour much easier, which isn't a good thing, I suppose. So I think I'm going to have to work those things back in. Jackie would pee her pants with happiness if I told her that I ran the damn track in her absence. She's big on running.

The weirdest part of this morning was having boys wandering around the room benching a ton of weight while I was doing my little squats in front of the mirror. It was easier to do that in public when I had a trainer who was obviously telling me to do it. Now I just look like the weirdo in the corner bending over in front of a mirror.

On the weight front, I've been too scared to check how I'm doing. By this weekend, my goal is 50, as I'm sure you recall, since I've said it like a billion times. I think this number will be the last that I obsess about. It makes me nervous. When I get fixated on being at a certain weight, my instinct is to be unhealthy to get there. So, after 50, slow and steady wins the race, and who cares what the number is when I'm feeling so good about where I'm at?

I can't wait! I hate worrying like this.

The photo that haunts my 'fight to be fit'

2011-04-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

Readers of the paper-version of this "fight to be fit" campaign give me lovely compliments when they spot me in public. It's wonderful! And then immediately following, many of them say, "You know, you look NOTHING like your picture." I'm so used that -- which I sort of consider to be an unintentional insult -- that I always say the same thing in response: Oh yeah, well, that was five years and a few pounds ago (laughs).

Just today at the gym, I was taking a Step class, and a lovely woman comes up and says, "I think it's so wonderful that you're writing about all of this in the paper." I said, "Oh, thank you so much. That's so kind of you. You know, you're the first person to recognize me from my picture. Most people say I look nothing like it." And she said (lol), "Oh, well, you don't. I just saw you talking to Joe Tougas, so there's The Free Press connection, and then I asked someone if it was you."

: |

My column mugshot (taken from my family picture, above, with my mom and sister) has to be the most conversation-generating of any other at The Free Press. Who knew someone could look so different from a photo that complete strangers feel the need to point it out so often?

Let me just say, in my defense, I'm sweaty and non-makeuped at the gym, and my hair's tied back, and ... OK, so maybe I've got a few pounds to go before I resemble that picture again. But hey, we all put our best mugs forward around here.

FAIL

2011-04-25T14:41:00.001-07:00

This afternoon was my 16-week weigh-in, the last with Jackie as my trainer. We were shooting for 50. ...Try 45, AGAIN.

Saturday morning I was down 48. It's unlikely I would put back on three pounds of fat in just two days, so some is probably water weight from the big holiday meal. Still, that feels like an excuse. I'm disappointed.

Jackie and I started working out together as pals on Saturday morning. She wants to make it a regular thing, and so do I! This coming Saturday we're meeting to run/walk the trail, and she wants to weigh in that morning and forget about this one. She says that will be the true four-month mark, and this was just 16 weeks. Barely any significance at all, right? ... By then the water weight situation will have righted itself, and I'll have five more workouts behind me.

So, new goal of Saturday, the four-month mark, to lose 50.

Sigh. I feel like a real suck-face. Should have said no to all that food.

50? Maybe not, thanks to my Easter saboteur

2011-04-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

It must be stated first: My mother is the BEST mom on Earth. Love, love, love her. She gives like no other.

Having said that, was she the best person to spend 24/7 with for the two days before my final weigh-in with Jackie during which I hope to hit a 50-pound weight loss? Nosiree.

In her defense, it was a holiday weekend, and on holidays, my mom is fueled only by the drive to make her family happy. How do moms do that? Food. And hugs, but mostly food.

Exhibit A: Saturday, on a high from a good morning workout with the plan to walk later, I say, "Hey, how about I make tacos tonight?" Subtext: So that I know what exactly I'm eating and how many calories are in it. Mom: "No, honey, we're taking you and your sister out to eat." Friday's is where we ended up, with only a preliminary scan of the online menu's limited nutrition info before we went.

Exhibit B: Snacks on Saturday night. Hot Tomales, Milky Ways, giant sugar cookies from Barns & Noble, and kettle corn were highlighted items. I managed to steer clear of all except for a bag of Smart Pop Kettle Corn. After my mystery dinner at Friday's, I didn't need the calories.

Exhibit C: I take my dog for an hour-long walk Sunday morning, and when I get back, mom had a 280-calorie fruit and yogurt from Kwik Trip with a fountain pop waiting for me. Oh, and, "I found those honey mustard pretzels you like, and I bought M&M cookies so we all have enough food if your sister's boyfriend brings her brother." There on the counter were 12 cookies, a giant bag of the pretzels, and various confections for the non-dieters' desserts.

Exhibit D: Lunch. Ribeyes, twice-baked potatoes, potato salad, deviled eggs, fruit salad, green bean casserole and Hawaiin rolls. Sighhhhhhhhhh.

I managed to weasel out of the angel food cake for dessert, but who knows what was in the eggs and salad and potatoes? I tried not to eat too much of it, but then, of course, there's mom with things like, "Did you get an egg?" "I already had one." "Well, you can have another one."

So, yeah, I walked for half an hour this morning with the pup, and I plan to eat super, super light today before I weigh-in with Jackie at 4 p.m. (which is the 16-week mark exactly today, by the way. Crazy!) But I doubt all those mystery calories will just dissipate before then.

We'll see! Love you, Mom! ; )

The Cadbury Egg Conspiracy revealed

2011-04-24T06:48:00.001-07:00

So my one Easter treat allowance was my favorite candy of all time: The Cadbury Cream Egg. It's like a gooey, sugary bomb in your mouth. For 150 calories -- albeit empty ones -- I had to go there before they're removed from shelves for a whole year.

However, eating it reminded me of how much the eggs have changed over the years. Cadbury Eggs were twice the size when I was a kid, and they used to be a challenge to eat. The white, creamy center used to be runny, so when you bit into it, the goo went down your chin the way the Easter Bunny and much more intelligent, customer-friendly candy-creators intended. Now that cheap, money-grubbing CEOs have clearly taken over the company, the eggs are miniscule, the center is more the texture of nougat, and while I still very much enjoy them, the experience pales in comparison to the old days.

An interesting side note: Cadbury's website used to deny such shrinkage claims until eggs from the old days were found and compared to the new size (including a public display from "The Office's" B.J. Novak). The company took its denial down, which, in response to comments about the shrinking size had said, "They haven't gotten smaller. You've grown up!" Whatevs, Cadbury. B.J. and I know our chocolate.

So close to 50 ell-bees I can taste it!

2011-04-23T08:58:00.000-07:00

48 pounds, people! Woo hoo! Two more to go before Monday, so I'm putting in extra workouts this weekend. Nothing crazy, but maybe a long walk both days with the family, who are coming into town for Easter weekend. I also worked out with Jackie this morning, but as friends! I lost a trainer, but gained a friend. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

She and I wrapped up our 20 sessions this week. Very bittersweet. I was so happy for how far she'd taken me, but sad that our partnership is over for now. However, then she suggested we meet and work out this morning as buddies. And that was fun! Of course, she put on a ton of weight to the Smith and other weight-lifting instruments, all the while developing nothing but a healthy glow about her. Meanwhile, I'm working with my 10- and 15-pound dumbbels and sweating like a fat New Yorker. But hey, whatever works, right?

Anyway, it sounds like we'll be working out together more frequently, so for all of you who gasped and e-mailed and said, "Oh Amanda, it's too soon to lose your trainer! I'm worried!" Lol. Fret not! It seems Jackie will still be a part of my life.

Now onto this weekend's biggest challenge: avoiding Easter candy. Dun, dun, dunnnnn. (Why does it taste so much better on Easter and Halloween?)

My campaign to outhit PucKato (Hi Shane)

2011-04-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason, you're reading this blog. You are! Right now! That's so awesome. My readership has steadily increased the past four months to something crazy like more than a thousand hits a week. I can hardly believe that. It's so exciting!

In the midst of my "way to go" from the boss, he said, "That's about as many hits as PucKato." For the one or two of you who don't know, PucKato is hockey writer Shane Frederick's blog about the Mavvies. None of us even bother being competitive with our blogs because it's a given that Shane will always win the hits contest, and the rest of us will just be happy with our small, but loyal readerships. (Except for Ed Thoma's baseball blog, of course. He blows us all away, including Shane, by an obscene number of hits. Y'all have proven your love of baseball, that's fo' sho'.)

Anyway, my boss's innocent little comment sparked a tiny bit of a competitive drive in me. "About as many hits as PucKato" ... does that mean an equal number? More perhaps? Hmmm ... Shane is my cubicle neighbor, so naturally I turned right to him and announced the news with a big smile on my face. His reasoning was that, of course, it's not hockey season, so fewer people are reading, and I wouldn't be able to hold a candle to him in the winter. ... True.

But right now, I want to beat him. Just once. I want to say, "For one week, I got more hits than PucKato." How cool would that be?! So I'm going to post something new every day, and I promise it will be super interesting stuff.

So come back often! Hit me, readers!

(P.S. Shane likes the Packers. A lot. Just in case that might incite some of you to hit refresh a few hundred times on this page to help me win.)

Want to be on my (walking) 10Kato team?

2011-04-21T07:36:00.000-07:00

So, a few weeks ago a woman from the 10Kato phoned me and said they wanted me to run the race to help raise awareness about the 15th anniversary of the event. I was not at the time, nor am I now, in the shape to run 10 K's. I can't even visualize what 10 K's looks like, but I'm assuming more than, say, one minute of running would be involved. So I politely declined and terribly disappointed this woman who seemed to be banking on my "yes" at the time.

This morning at the gym I had the idea of just doing the walking portion. I can walk two miles, for goodness sake, and I'm betting a lot of you who have been so kindly following my blog can too.

So how about we do it together? We can get a huge team together, maybe all wear something that's the same so we look like a team, and take a morning walk on Memorial Day weekend -- which HAS TO BE warm by then, people. I can get to know some of you, and it's all for a good cause. Sounds fun, right?

So the 10Kato is Monday, May 30, and the start is at Dickinson and Emerson streets. Registration before May 13 is $17, it's $20 after May 13, and it's $25 the day of the race. There are brochures with registration forms to mail in at the Y, or go to this site and print out the form there.

E-mail me at adyslin@mankatofreepress.com if you want to join my team. I hope you do!

I can have a sugar cookie, OK?

2011-04-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm about to commit the cardinal sin of blogging ... doing so while I'm a little miffed. I'm doing it anyway! ...

Please, please, please, people: STOP TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T EAT! Just please, OK? I so appreciate the concern. Really sweet. Seriously. But MyFitnessPal.com AND a food journal AND a trainer AND the knowledge I have gained the past four months are the sources I use to tell me what I can have.

"Are you eating Chipotle? Can you have that?" YES. A bowl with rice, chicken and any kind of salsa is fine. It's less than 500 calories, and as long as I come in under my calories and fat requirements for the day, I'm good to go.

"Don't do it ... Don't take that sugar cookie." You know what? Once in a while, I can have a cookie. It's 180 calories. If I choose to spend them that way, then I just have to eat less at dinner, OK?

I publically blog about weight loss. I get it. But that doesn't entitle anyone to management duty over my food intake. Gee whiz ...

For those of you saying, "Anything in moderation, honey. Have that cookie and eat it, too," seriously, bless you. I heart you.

Debunking "butt-squeezy" myths

2011-04-19T07:10:00.001-07:00

The support from readers has been so awesome on my little fat-fight, and some of them have had really great questions that I think a lot of dieters might not know about weight loss that I have recently just learned myself. So here's some food for thought:

Comment: "So you know how you complain that your booty isn't shrinking at the same rate as your mid-section? You can do this butt-squeezy exercise. You lay on the ground, lift up your butt and squeeze a whole bunch of times."

Lol. ... Butt-squeezy advice probably falls under the category of things I never thought I'd talk about with a reader. ... But actually, this brings up a good point for dieters. Did you know that you cannot choose where on your body you will lose weight? Your body chemistry decides that all on its own. For instance, you can't use the Thigh Master every night and expect it to shrink your thighs. At most, you will be build muscle in your thighs. Cardio exercise burns fat, but it could come off of anywhere on your body, regardless of what machine you're using or exercise you're doing.

Comment: If you're working out an hour a day, why can't you eat whatever you want?

Metabolism, metabolism, metabolism. It's a very delicate balance, and it's different for every person. The one thing that is true for most people is that the food is 90 percent of the battle. For the most part, it's simple math: You have to have a calorie deficit to lose weight. So if you're burning 300 calories at the gym and you go home and eat whatever you want, you'll make up that deficit with just one bag of chips, for example. So you have to make sure that the calories you are consuming are less than the total calories required to sustain your current weight. There are calorie calculators online that can help you determine that. Keep in mind that they are just estimates, however, based on your height and weight. Many other factors enter in.

Comment: You should try a low-fat diet. That's what I do, and then I can eat more.

Low fat doesn't necessarily mean low calories. Many candies have little or not fat, yet they are extremely high in calories. A family-size box of Hot Tomales has more than 1,000 calories. A bag of gummi bears has 600. Calories are a big factor in weight loss.

Lots to consider, isn't there? No wonder my booty got so big! ; )

After 18 years, I finally own a dress

2011-04-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

Well, it was time. I'd been resisting the temptation to buy new clothes. My argument was that I'm in transition mode. So why plop down a whole bunch of money on clothes I hope to not fit into in a few months, anyway? My mom's argument was more convincing than mine: "The waistband of those pants is practically doubled over, held up only by a belt, and there's so much extra fabric, it's making you look puffy around the middle. I never want to see those pants again. Like it or not, you're buying new pants."

What do you say to that besides, "OK, mom"? I should realize, when my mom has that certain look on her face, arguing is futile. So I did what I hate to do most: I headed to hilltop on a Saturday to shop. Dear God, hilltop on a Saturday. The things we do for our mothers.

My favorite store in the WORLD is Maurice's. They have the cutest, trendiest clothes for all sizes of girl. You will find no matronly pieces in the place, even if your booty is bodacious. And thanks to the clearance rack, I found two pairs of work pants for $16 apiece and a jean skirt for $8. I also got a non-clearance pair of jeans with a great wash for $32. I mean, seriously. Bargain City.

Then we went to Gordmans, where there's always something unexpected (wink, wink). If you've never been and you like a good deal, ladies, go check out their tops. Cutest summer tops ever. I bought several. ... And get this ... I bought a dress. I did. I bought the first dress I've owned since ... oh, jeez, I'd say my choir concert in sixth grade. So yeah, it's been a while. I had tried on a similar dress a few weeks ago that from the front was all right, but then I turned to the side and it was all butt, baby. Way too much butt. So I waited it out. And now, it's not bad at all.

The trouble with owning a dress in Mankato is that I have nowhere to wear it. No women at work wear dresses. And if I wore one, people would look at me like I was trying to make some sort of statement about my new body. And I'm not. Plus, I have a ways to go on my journey, so I don't want anyone thinking I'm making statements yet. I can't really wear it to a bar, or to the park with the dog, or out shopping. And those are the only places I go. So, I guess I'll have to think on that.

The funnest part of the whole experience was seeing I'd gone down about four to six sizes. That's always fun. : ) Hopefully, I'll go down a few more in the next few months. But then what will I do with all my pretty new clothes? Hmmm.

'Thank you' to Jackie just isn't enough

2011-04-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

I only have three more sessions left with Jackie, at least for a while.

I debated for a long time about whether I should come up with another $500 for 20 sessions to continue our weight-loss journey together. But with summer coming, I’ll be down to only one job. (I’ve been an adjunct at Minnesota State University during the school year.) I’ve also got a trip to New York planned with my baby sister, the first time we’re traveling together, actually. So the $500 would have to go on my credit card, and after hitting the big 3-0 in December, I’ve been trying to be more fiscally responsible.

There are other reasons, as well. When I weigh-in for the final time with Jackie the morning of the 25th, I will have been on this journey for 16 weeks, with her guiding me in many ways the whole way. At some point, this little chick has to learn to fly on her own, right? I have to prove to myself that the lifestyle she and I have tailored for me during the past four months is something that I am capable of sustaining for the rest of my life.

So, this bird’s leaving the nest.

Thinking about it makes me a little emotional, actually. Jackie and I only met for an hour twice a week, but we’ve gotten to know each other a little bit, and I’m not sure how I will be able to express to her what she’s done for me.

Now, granted, a trainer can only get you so far. If I had worked out with Jackie two hours a week and not exercised at all on my own the other five days, or if I had eaten whatever I wanted, I wouldn’t have lost weight. So self-discipline has been a major component of my success.

But she has provided so much more than just an hour-long butt-kicking on Mondays and Thursdays.

For one, she’s given me the right tools -- more information than I ever thought I would know about calorie deficits, metabolism, the importance of strength-training, the amount of cardio recommended for weight loss. She taught me proper form and technique, what a lunge and a bicep curl and a shoulder press feels like when I’m doing them correctly.

She’s been my cheerleader and confidante. No one else knows my starting weight or goal weight, and despite having the perfect body herself, she never made me feel like mine was anything to be ashamed of, not even on day one. Every step of the way -- every pushup I’ve snarled at and every reverse crunch I didn’t think I could do -- she was there telling me I was strong and that I could finish.

Most importantly, she’s been someone to whom I feel accountable. When I do badly, I feel like I’ve let us both down (even though she never sees it that way). And when I’ve done well, it’s been an enormous motivator to see how proud she is.

For all of these reasons and more, I will always be grateful to you, Jackie. Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me. I hope, when I weigh-in on the 25th, we’ll be able to celebrate a 50-pound weight loss together.

And when I get to the final few pounds before I hit my goal weight, I’ll sign up for a few more sessions, and we’ll cross the finish line together, girl.

Haven't we covered this already?

2011-04-11T16:57:00.000-07:00

I got my butt kicked at the gym this morning. Jackie book-ended our workout with six minutes on the stair-climber machine. This is the first time this particular machine has made its way into my workouts, and let me now say, it has replaced Jackie's BOSU torture as my most hated gym experience. After an hour of pouring sweat -- doing such crazy activities as stepping sideways across a two-foot stool and doing lunges and squats off the BOSU -- the very last thing I wanted to do, like the LAST THING, was another six minutes on the stair climber. But I did it. And then, just for fun, when I was ready to collapse, we did abs.

When I got home, my T-shirt was clinging to my body. And even after my shower, my face was apple red. I could barely lift my arms to shampoo myself.

Here's the thing about today's workout, though: I deserved every torturous minute of it.

You may have seen my column that came out in today's Health & Fitness section. It proclaimed my 42-pound weigh loss and 23-inch loss. And it made a point at the end to say that, by the time the column was put on the page, I was on track to lose another 5 pounds by today.

Yeah, well, Ms. Cocky got served by the scale this morning. I didn't lose a single ounce this week. Wanna know why? It actually took me a minute to realize why, but then I remembered, "Oh yeah, you ate and drank stuff you weren't supposed to."

That's why today's column is going to sound quite repetative. You're going to think, "Amanda, didn't you write something similar to this a few weeks ago? Didn't you learn your lesson? That you can't eat crap and think you're still going to lose weight?" Simply put, people, no. No, I have not learned my lesson, and I will never learn this particular lesson. Eating right and exercising is such a delicate balance, and I will ALWAYS have to reteach myself how to do it right.

Let's take this week for example. Last Monday I'm riding high on my 42-pound weight loss, so what do I do? Hit the gym even harder the next morning? No. I take my sister to Number 4 and have blue corn nachos and red, red wine. It flowwwwed, that red wine. Delicious. ... Then I had a couple of good days, and then, because I had a couple of good days, I decide to have more wine and a piece or two of pizza. Then I had a couple of more good days, and on Sunday night I thought, "I had more good days than bad this week, so I think I'll finish that bottle of red wine in the kitchen, and I'll go get Cold Stone with my sis." Granted, I had the sinless sweet cream, but it was extra calories I didn't need.

So after I stepped on the scale this morning and saw I hadn't lost a single pound, the week's activities came flooding back, and I re-realized that weight loss doesn't just happen. Every single day I have to be aware of what I'm eating. My body doesn't ignore bad eating days, even if my mind chooses to.

I always do that. I always achieve something great and then get comfortable and reward myself way too much. I wish my reaction to good news was to push myself even more, but unfortunately, only bad news seems to drive me like that.

Well, the zero-pound loss this week was certainly bad news. So consider me fired up again, people. (But I'm sure you'll be reading a post like this again in the future.)

23 inches gone from my body!

2011-04-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

For the three-month benchmark this week, Jackie decided we should assess how far I’ve come since day 1, and the results were pretty astonishing. For once, the numbers were actually on my side.

As you’ll recall from Monday, I lost 42 pounds. That’s a 4-year-old, to help put the number into perspective.

Today, we took my measurements. When I started this in January, Jackie measured my chest, waist, abs, hips, thigh and bicep. As of today, I’m down 23.25 inches overall. I’ve shrunk 2 feet!

The funny part is where most of the inches came from. My chest? Down about 5 inches. (Greeeat.) My waist? Another 5. Abs? A whopping 8.5 inches!

Remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about how my booty is always the last to come around? That I always lose from my mid-section first and the ol’ derriere hangs onto the chub as long as possible before finally giving in?

Well, I definitely know my body. Listen to these numbers in comparison to the big’ns above. Hips: 2.75 inches. Thigh: 2 inches. Bicep: a measly 1 inch. (Ho-hum.)

Jackie says we’ve been strength-training my thighs and arms so vigorously that the lack of inches lost has to do with muscle gain. I’m more cynical. I think my body is as stubborn as a Minnesota winter, and it enjoys toying with my emotions.

Regardless, I can’t complain too much about what I’ve achieved. My plateau seems to have finally broken, and judging by my week’s progress so far, I’m on track to lose another 5 pounds by Monday. That would put the total at 47 pounds lost, which means by the following Monday, I’ll have surpassed the 50-pound benchmark.

Amazing what a person can do for their health in fewer than four months, isn’t it?

A shout out to an awesome reader and her mother's knapsacks

2011-04-06T08:41:00.000-07:00

One of my wonderful readers -- who has nearly conquered her own fitness mission to get ready for her daughter's wedding (woo hoo!) -- dropped off a lovely surprise today: knapsack bundles of chocolate cookies.

The newsroom wants to give a shout out to Jane Savage Horton for the treats, which are as fun to look at as they are to eat. (That's what I'm told, anyway. I didn't eat any, but they LOOKED amazing).

Chocolate cookies were wrapped in little red bandanas and tied to sticks from trees, to make them look like old-fashioned knapsacks. So cute!

Jane's mother had once saved the day when Jane forgot it was her turn to bring snacks to Girl Scouts. She showed up with bundles of these treats. What an amazing mom!

And the month three weight loss total is ...

2011-04-04T06:58:00.001-07:00

Today was the big day! I put in a full hour with Jackie before stepping on the Iron Man scale, and it's all I thought about the whole time, even when I was hoofing it up two flights of stairs to run the track three times. (Yuck.) I was fairly confident because I've been so disciplined the past week or more. But there's always that lingering doubt that the scale will defy logic and slap you in the face. When that happens, it's a dreadfully painful blow that stings for, like, days.

Not today, friends.

(Drum roll) ... 42 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!! 42 ... it's a good number. I like it. I like it a lot. I am a fitness master!!!

There was another number I was excited about, too. The Iron Man scale provides all kinds of information about a person's body composition, including hydration level, metabolic age and visceral fat reading, which is the fat you carry around your mid-section. The latter is what Jackie was excited to see today. My visceral fat is now in the HEALTHY RANGE. Like Heidi Klum and I, we now have about the same risk of cardio vascular issues. Well, OK, let's not go crazy ... but essentially, my risk of heart troubles has practically diminished. I'm really thrilled with that. So cool that in three months you can improve your health to that degree. (The booty, well, that's another story.)

Anyhow, I'll be talking about all of this on KTOE at 4 p.m. today. Tune in if you can!

A little TLC and North Broad could be like NORTH North Broad

2011-04-03T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well, today was the second Sunday in a row I didn't go to the gym. ...But that doesn't mean I wasn't exercising!!! I couldn't imagine the thought of doing my two hours of weekend exercise inside. The weather was just way, way too gorgeous. So I bet, given the hours upon hours of yard work and dog walking, I put in a good six hours of exercise time yesterday and today. Didn't even feel like work, it was so gorgeous.

My favorite hour was this afternoon (Sunday), when I took the Squish for a walk down to Tourtellotte. I live on North Broad ... let me stop you there. This is the part where, if we were speaking face to face and I had just told you I live on North Broad, your face would light up and you would say, "Ohhh, North Broad is a beaut-" and I would immediately cut you off. "No, no," I would say. "I live on North Broad, not NORTH North Broad. I'm on the dodgy end. The ghetto. You know, the stretch between Mulberry and Madison." And you would say, "Oh, right. Yeah, well, um, there are some nice places there, too. It's really hit or miss, isn't it? But, yeah ..." And you would trail off, trying not to insult me with apologies for making assumptions that I was on the beautiful, wonderful, neighborhood-y end of North Broad.

I take the Squish up that way often in the spring and summer, and I always longingly think the same things: The lots are about the same size as they are on my end of North Broad. The houses are about the same age. The architecture of the houses is just as diverse. And, yet, NORTH North Broad is where you want to live. North Broad, by me, is where you HAVE to live when mucho moola isn't part of your day-to-day.

It's such a shame. The only difference between NORTH North and North are owners that have loved and cared for the properties. They've resodded when needed. They've painted and sided. They've replaced windows and doors. Every house the Squish and I pass is another one that is actually fun to look at and think, "Oh wow, look at that stone walkway. Gorgeous," or, "The shutters were such a good idea. They really frame those windows."

This weekend I wondered why I was one of the only people out in my yard on my block preparing for spring. It's not that the neighbors didn't have work to do. They ALL do. And yet, all was quiet. During my walk to Tourtellotte, I passed six rakers, all of whom said hello or "Nice weather, right?" Another couple were mulching and said, "Couldn't ask for a better day than this, could we?" I agreed and wished I lived next door so we could trade such pleasantries again.

Sometimes I wonder what it would take for North Broad to turn into that kind of neighborhood. Zero-interest city loans to update facades? A natural disaster to wipe out everything and have insurance foot the bill for an extreme neighborhood makeover? An investor to buy up all the dumpy rentals and flip them, thereby improving the neighborhood, upping values and maximizing his or her investment? Maybe my only hope is that, one house at a time, the few of us who care will inspire another to care. Maybe my neighbors will see it doesn't take that much money, just time and sweat, to improve curb appeal. And who wouldn't want to put that in on a day like this?

It's the little things that make the best mornings

2011-03-31T06:32:00.001-07:00

Jackie has a wonderful way of putting things into perspective for me. I think, even more than kicking my butt in the gym, this aspect of the trainer-trainee relationship is absolutely priceless.

This morning, I came clean about my behavior this month. She, of course, knew I'd been struggling with a plateau, and I told her that I had done pretty much nothing until a few days ago to start combatting the problem. In fact, I'd really been lazy and done my best to work against myself. So, I said, by Monday, my hope is to have lost 40 pounds so far. And I reminded her that our original goal was to have lost about 50 by now.

She said, "Forty pounds, that's still two pounds a week (this month.) That's healthy weight loss." She also said that 50 pounds is a lofty goal for three months. The weight comes on slow, and it needs to go off slow.

I know that's simple advice, but it really parted the clouds for me. I was like, "You're right. That is two pounds a week. Wow!" I mean, this isn't "The Biggest Loser." This is real life. I'm not forgetting my mistakes this month at all, but breaking it down in those terms really made me feel good about where I am.

To top it off, as we were leaving the weight room, we bumped into a girl I ALWAYS see at the gym. She and I are about the same size, and we always smile and say hi, but we've never chatted. So I stopped to ask her name this time. We introduced ourselves, and she said, "You've really lost a lot of weight. I can really tell." When your friends and family tell you that you look good, it feels great. But there's something a little bit extra special when a stranger says it, because they really don't have any reason to, so it feels more true some how. It absolutely made my morning.

So, smiling from ear to ear and knowing I had four more days until Monday (which is my month 3 weigh-in day), I decided to see where I'm at on the scale: 38 pounds lost so far. : ) I ran out of the locker room to find Jackie again and tell her the news. Only two pounds to lose in four days to be at a 40-pound loss.

Really, really good day. : )

Foot update: Seriously, it's all good, people

2011-03-30T13:27:00.000-07:00

The blog post on my foot injury was Feb. 13, six weeks ago, and it's still one of the top things people ask about. It must be because so very many people have dealt with plantar fasciitis: a painful inflammation of the thick, fibrous, connective tissue along the heel bone and sole of the foot, commonly associated with long periods of weight bearing.

So, I thought I would update everyone on the foot situation. Basically, it's fine. It really doesn't hurt that bad. And according to a nurse I spoke to, it probably isn't plantar fasciitis at all because my muscle and/or tendon ache is at the back of my heel, not the tissue under my foot. Maybe it is. I don't really know.

So far, it hasn't stood in the way of activity. It mostly just aches in the morning when I first step on it and also after I've been sitting for a long time. But when it gets warmed up, it's totally fine.

I actually forget about it until people start asking. Because in the meantime, many other muscle injuries have come and gone. My knee has acted up. My back had a spell where it didn't feel like working for me. It's all bound to happen when you've gone from sedentary to moderately active.

So, it's all good, folks. Thanks for the concern, but the foot's doing just fine.

Watch Jackie on TV!!

2011-03-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

My trainer, Jackie Vroman, will be on TV in about 20 minutes! She's on the 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. news today on KEYC TV giving fitness tips for spring/summer. Neat! If you missed it, watch the video here.

I got no time for pansies, so MOVE!

2011-03-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

Monday morning I gave myself a pep talk, a la high school football coach tearing the kids a new one in the middle of a bad quarter. (Quarter, right? In football it's quarters? I'm improvising here. Shocking admission: I was not a jock in high school. I was on the naughty kid list, much more interested in having a great time doing bad things than joining anything. But then, I bet a lot of journalists fit that description.)

Anyway, I was sitting here at 6:30, still sort of wallowing in my diet rut and thinking about my last post that suggested April 1st would solve all of my motivation problems. Suddenly, I realized how stupid that sounds. And the internal ass-chewing commenced.

It went a little sumthin' like this ...

VOICE OF REASON: What the hell?

Me: Huh? Who ... what?

VOR: Listen, you're getting creamed out there. What's this about a cupcake and chocolate on Friday? What's this about skipping the gym on Sunday? And you're actually blaming a plateau on your lack of weight loss this month?

Me: Well ...

VOR: You're not doing anything to help yourself here. YOU are the problem. You're not pushing very hard at all. What are you gaining from sitting in that recliner and feeling sorry for yourself?

Me: Um ...

VOR: Get out your food journal. Instead of recording what you eat after the fact, write down exactly what you will eat today and stick to it. And after that, GET UP AND GO TO THE GYM. And while you're there, I want you to think about what more you could be doing to reach your goal. No more thinking about why you think your body is working against you. YOU are working against your body. Got it? I got no time for pansies, so MOVE!

Me: Actually, yeah. That makes sense. You're right! It's on, man. I've got this!

And that's exactly what I did. I even had a social engagement last night where fried foods and numerous alcoholic beverages were at my fingertips. I drank Diet Coke all night. What the what!?

I feel much better this week. Hopefully my inner coach will come out more often.

Excuses, excuses. I've got a million of 'em.

2011-03-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm ready for this month to be over. I'm in the worst rut, and there's something about the first of a month to really refresh a situation. It's like a system reboot, a clean slate, a shot at renewal.

I have really sucked lately, to put it mildly. I'm not motivated. I've been stuck in a plateau and rather than invigorating me to really push harder, exercise more and eat lots more lean protein and veggies (and less carbs), I've just kind of coasted and felt crappy about it.

Then Friday, I had a small medical procedure (nothing serious), and so I was home in the afternoon feeling a little bit lousy, and so I used that as an excuse for a free day. I had a cupcake. I had chocolate. I ate popcorn. I vegged on the couch and watched movies. Barely moved all day. Saturday, to make up for it, I ate too little. Didn't exercise except for a dog-walk. And today, Sunday, I have absolutely no motivation to go to the gym. I ALWAYS go on Sunday. Always. I make sure I'm there right at 10 because the place fills up pretty fast on a weekend.

I don't know, I just feel a bit deflated. Kind of stuck. I would never, ever quit. I don't want anyone to worry about that. But I'm sort of in that place where I feel like making a great deal more progress requires an amount of effort I just don't want to put forward right now. It's hard to reconcile this because there's nothing I want more than to be thin and healthy, and yet, I'm willing to kind of sit back and coast and not do anything to get there.

I've been blaming the weather. I know it's an excuse. It really is. But I know that on that first 45-degree morning, I'm going to want desperately to get out there and enjoy it. And when I get off work, I'm totally going to want to take the dog for a long walk. So weather is part of it.

I'm told by the lovely Chikage Windler that April 1 and warm weather will coincide this year. So I'm really looking forward to that as my big refresher. I know I'll have to get on the scale for the month 3 mark and see what I DIDN'T do during the month of March. I'll be shocked if I've lost more than 35 pounds total, which would be a two-pound loss in a whole month. That will hurt a little. It'll feel like a lot of wasted time. But maybe that will help me feel re-motivated.

Until then, I sit here like a lump and drink coffee and wonder why, when rereading this very post and letting its truth sink in, I still can't bring myself to go to the gym this morning.

Dear Spring, I can't wait for you much longer.

2011-03-24T07:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Spring,

Why are you acting like we don't even know each other? Don't you remember the plans we made? Walks to work, long walks with the dog, hours-long trips to the park? You promised I'd be driving around town with the windows down. You encouraged me to unpack my short-sleeved shirts. You tempted me with ads for sandals. I painted my toenails a cute shade of pink in anticipation.

Spring, I don't mind telling you, you've let me down. It's pretty darn hard to stay motivated to drag my butt out of bed and head out into the wicked winds and icy streets to get to the gym. This time last year, you were so eager to be with me. Don't you remember? The tulips had emerged by mid-March. The snow was long gone. You pretty much told Winter to get lost at the end of February, and she was so afraid to come back, we didn't see her again until November.

I have no choice but to give you an ultimatum: Show yourself within a week, or I'm moving on. Florida, maybe. I'm told Summer lives there all year round. Until now, Summer didn't have my favor like you did. But I'll take him over Winter. You will have left me no choice.

With fond memories,
Amanda.

The dog is out-eating me

2011-03-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

I think my dog is now consuming more calories per day than I am.

8 a.m.: Dog eats bowl of Beneful Playful Life. (What is that, like 350 calories maybe?)

8:45 a.m.: Dog won't come inside -- loves snow, that traitor -- so dog gets a Kraft Single as a means of luring her in. 50 calories.

Some time between 8:50 a.m. and noon: Dog digs through the trash, finds a pizza box from yesterday (not mine, so stop worrying about my diet), chews through the box and consumes two slices. 500 calories.

1 p.m.: Dog licks plates clean full of taco sauce, cheese and meat (again, mine didn't have cheese). 75 calories.

6 p.m.: Dog will eat another bowl of Beneful. 350 calories.

9 p.m.: Dog will inevitably have to be lured in with some sort of treat so I can lock up. 50 calories.

Grand total: 1,375 calories. The nickname Fattie Doughnut remains.

At last, a reprieve!

2011-03-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

After a weekend of feeling horribly deflated, I had a moment where the clouds parted. After a tough workout with Jackie, I braved the scale again, just to see, and it had budged. One pound. I'll take it! I'll take any movement in that direction at this point.

So yesterday I was feeling better about things. Less depressed. Focused again. Ready to hit veggies and lean proteins really hard to help break out of my plateau.

I was feeling so good, I thought, well, I'll just pick through a pile of my favorite old clothes and see if I can get into anything yet. I found my favorite shirt. The one I used to wear once a week without fail because the beadwork is so pretty, and the bell sleeves are so flattering. And I was so sad when my tush made it impossible to pull it off any longer.

It fits! My God, it actually fits.

The last time this happened, I resisted the urge to post a picture. I didn't want to be all, "Look at me! Look at me!" Because I still have a long way to go, of course. But today, what the hell, LOOK AT ME! HURRAY! HURRAY! (Ignore the no makeup and messy hair, if you would please. It's early a.m. in this camera phone pic.)

Diet Depression has settled in, hard core

2011-03-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

A candy binge in the middle of an inexorable plateau, and yet, I'm still surprised to see my weight hasn't budged.

Diet Depression has set in. Officially, I'm losing hope.

I looked around at many of the women in the gym today, fit, toned, sizes 2-6. These are the kind of women who don't just workout an hour in the mornings and call it good. They're active all day. They get home from the gym and walk their kids to school. They jog with the dog at lunch. They take a family walk after dinner. They clean up the house before bed. They run 5Ks on the weekend.

That's not me. My weekends are for hours upon hours of HGTV. Relaxation.

If this whole thing is about a "lifestyle change," then it has to be enjoyable. It has to be a change I want and can sustain. The above gym-lady scenario with all the walking and jogging and 5Ks? I don't want that. That's just not me.

I'm not going to do this, but do you see now, skinny people? All you born-thin girls who think, "I could never starve myself! Pizza and French fries are just too yummy! Lol. Smiley face. Giggle, giggle." For many women, like me, it seems like drastically cutting calories is the only way to lose weight. Even if it's not "sustainable," a girl starts to think, "Well, temporary results sound a lot better than no results at all."

Sustainable ... that word is just kicking my ass. At least I know I can sustain a plateau. Clearly, I am an expert at sustaining NOT losing weight.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. At this point, I would just love a day where I don't have to think about this at all.

Candy Binge Alert!

2011-03-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

Like many dieters, nighttime hours are tough. Sometimes I sit here and imagine how many calories I could rack up in a single day if I hit Walgreens' candy aisle and put everything I wanted into the cart: Kit-Kats, Butterfingers, kettle corn, Hot Tomales, Mike & Ikes, Reese's Pieces, the list goes on.

I hadn't had a problem combatting such thoughts until last night. I have several friend/family special occasions coming up (birthdays and the like), and I bought candy at Walgreens to give with cards. Mistake No. 1: The events aren't for at least a few days, meaning the candy just sits around in the house. Mistake No. 2: I hadn't eaten dinner by 8 p.m. so I was quite peckish.

Well, long story short, I ate candy. A lot of candy. This was the first time since I started this whole thing that I had a moment of total willpower meltdown.

Here's the reason I'm not worried about what happened: In the middle of chowing down on Starbursts and Almond Joy Pieces, I turned the packages around, read the nutrition information and calculated exactly how many calories I was consuming. I NEVER would have done that before. In the past, if I didn't know how much I was eating, then I couldn't feel as badly about it. This time, I forced myself to compile that information, open up my food journal, write it down, and total up the damage.

The rest of the day I had eaten: two clementines, a bowl of pineapple, beef jerkey and a 6-inch sweet onion chicken teriaki from Subway. All of that was 870 calories. This is the embarrassing bit: The candy total was an additional 800 calories. (Trust me, it does not take a truckload to get to that number. Sugar is very caloric.)

So, at the end of the day, my total was 1,670. My daily goal is 1,200, so certainly, almost 500 calories over is not a good thing. But it could have been much worse had I not armed myself with information.

So, honestly, no guilt today. I've said this before, and I mean it: It's OK to mess up once in a while. It's what you do after you mess up that matters. And today, I'm heading to the gym.

Stiff, kind of whiney, but otherwise feeling OK

2011-03-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

No. 1 question I'm being asked today: "Oh, hon', are you limping?"
Deja vu all over again, I tell ya.

Jackie decided to whoop my butt yesterday at the gym. Forty minutes of legs. I had no idea so many variations of squats and lunges even exisited. I did jumping squats. I did lunges with my back leg propped up on stuff. I did combination squats. I did sumo squats. It was crazy!

So this morning I woke up and knew it was going to be tough getting around. Stairs are the worst. I haven't had to scoot down on my rear like I did two months ago, but I have been holding on to the railing for dear life, imagining myself tumbling all the way to the bottom.

Maybe a few more sessions like this will launch me out of Plateau-ville. Fingers crossed!